chazman

Movie Quotes (c/o IMDb):

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.

David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.

Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?

David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.

Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?

David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.
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Nigel Tufnel: Well, I suppose I could work in a shop of some kind or... or do um... freelance... selling of some sort of... um... product, you know...

Marty DiBergi: A salesman, you think you...

Nigel Tufnel: A salesman, like, mabye in a haberdasher, or maybe like a... um, a chapeau shop, or something... you know, like: "Would you... what size do you wear, sir?" and then you answer me.

Marty DiBergi: Uh... seven and a quarter.

Nigel Tufnel: "I think we have that...", you see, something like that I could do.

Marty DiBergi: Yeah... you think you'd be happy doing something like---

Nigel Tufnel: "No! We're all out, do you wear black?", see, that sort of thing, I think I could probably muster up.

Marty DiBergi: Yeah, do you think you'd be happy doing that?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, I don't know, wh-wh-what are the hours?

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[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.

Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of
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Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump."

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Lt. Hookstratten: May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.

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[Asked to write his own epitaph]
David St. Hubbins: Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?

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Mick Shrimpton: As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.

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David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.

David St. Hubbins: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

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David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but -

Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.

David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.

Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, actually mean it.

David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but -

Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.

David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear.
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Nigel Tufnel: You can't really dust for vomit.
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David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

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David St. Hubbins: Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

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Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and -

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.

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Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."

Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?

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[When asked what happened to their first drummer]
David St. Hubbins: He died in a tragic gardening accident... Authorities said... it's best to leave it... unsolved.

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Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...

David St. Hubbins: What!?

Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.