I still cannot let go of this episode and how much it bothers me. I hate that Bay chose to go out to dinner with Tank.
Everything in me is screaming at how wrong it is, on all kinds of different levels.
When the episode aired, I actually saw some people posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr (and maybe Fan Forum--I cannot remember), about how immature Emmett is, when Bay tells him the news. They said he whined, pouted, and acted like a big baby.
Actually, no. Emmett didn't do any of those things, and I do not understand that claim.
I also do not understand how people thought it was a mature decision on Bay's part.
Maybe it is a generational thing. Maybe people in the generation that came after mine do not feel this is a big deal, but to me, it is HUGE.
Bay had no business going to dinner with Tank and his dad. Bay didn't owe Tank anything, and even if she did, going to dinner with him doesn't do anything to remedy that.
Going to dinner with Tank and his dad gives Tank the wrong idea.
Going to dinner with Tank and his dad sends Tank mixed messages.
Going to dinner with Tank and his dad is unfair to her current boyfriend Emmett.
Why does Bay believe that it is okay to beg for a friendship from Tank, someone she has cheated on and dumped? Why does she think that makes Tank feel any better? It doesn't. Being friends with Tank, when he wants more than friendship, only makes Bay feel better.
Why would Bay do that to Tank or to Emmett? Does she just not see it?
Once Bay made her choice to be with Emmett, her primary loyalty was TO Emmett. And I am not just saying that because I love Emmett. If Bay had chosen Tank, I would feel that her primary loyalty should be to him. Well, to herself, first, and then to her partner, but definitely not to her ex, never to her ex.
And I don't understand, when the episode aired, all of the people posting how immature Emmett was being in this situation and how mature Bay was being.
I don't have a problem calling Emmett immature when he is immature. For instance, in Season 1B, when Emmett asked Bay to see her email correspondence with Ty, that was immature. In fact, Emmett crossed a line with that request, and he was all kinds of wrong. That was horrible.
But Bay was wrong to try to make amends with Tank. Perhaps the gesture seems noble, selfless, and good, but it is not. One cannot (and should not) try to have two incompatible things, and that is exactly what Bay was doing. Dating Emmett and befriending her ex-boyfriend (who still wants to be dating her) are two incompatible things.
I'm not all that big on conventional wisdom, but sometimes there are reasons why certain choices are frowned upon. In my generation, being friends with an ex who you dumped for your current boyfriend is not considered wise.
Being friendly? Sure. Be friendly all you want. But to actually BE friends and go out to dinner and party together? No. It's better not done.
And moving forward to the dorm party, even if Bay and Tank had fallen asleep on the bed, before anything else could happen, so much of what DID happen between Bay and Tank that night was still wrong.
How could Bay walk away from Emmett on the beach, asking him in
disbelief, "You still think that I cheated on you with Tank? That's what you think?"
Why doesn't Bay see that she absolutely cheated on Emmett emotionally? Doesn't she recognize it? Why doesn't Bay apologize to Emmett for that?
Does her generation not believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating?
When Emmett cheated on Bay, he apologized profusely. Bay has yet to apologize to Emmett for the emotional cheating. I just don't get it.
If Bay did apologize (not for the sex, but for everything else) maybe it would heal some of what is broken between them.
When this episode first aired, I could let it go. But now that people are posting how wrong Emmett is to break up with Bay, and how mature and right Bay has been in every decision, it bothers me.
And some people are not just calling Emmett wrong. Some of them are calling Emmett horrible names and acting as though he is the most despicable character on the planet. That's ridiculous, and it's widespread and rampant.
I don't get it.
Emmett could have handled some things better, this past year. That's true. But it bothers me that so many people see Bay's actions as this pillar of maturity and talk about how far she has come since the pilot episode, and then, in the next breath, call Emmett stunted. I see a lot of growth on Emmett's part.
And I actually believe Bay was more mature in the pilot episode than now. Something has caused her to doubt herself and second guess her convictions. Perhaps it was Emmett's cheating. In that respect, maybe Emmett is to blame for everything.
It's as if Emmett will never recover from that one mistake. Even Emmett believes Bay still holds that against him, as evidenced in his script for the movie short.
But back to the episode, I hate this conversation between Bay & Emmett, because in my mind, to my way of thinking, Bay's logic is flawed:
BAY: (Sighs) Poor Travis. I know how he feels. You and me and Mary Beth should take him out for some fun.
EMMETT: Good idea. But first you and I should celebrate. You want to grab a burger tonight?
BAY: Uh, I can't. I'm having dinner with Tank and his dad. Don't freak out.
EMMETT: Why?
BAY: He's telling his dad that he de-pledged his fraternity. It's a big deal.
EMMETT: So is your boyfriend getting into Gallaudet.
BAY: Of course it is. But I did something awful to Tank. And the least I can do is be there when he tells his dad that he's de-pledging.
EMMETT: He can't find anyone else?
BAY: He doesn't have a lot of friends right now. Emmett, it is one dinner. And it's going to be boring and awkward. And I owe it to him. We both do.
EMMETT: Leave me out of it.
And as much as that decision doesn't sit right with me, the worst one of all, the mother of all bad decisions, is taking the fall for Daphne.
I still see people talking about how Bay's decision to take the fall for Daphne is Christlike and good.
Uh, NO. Lying, breaking the law, sacrificing your future is NOT Christlike and good.
Standing beside Daphne as she paid for her crimes and tried to rebuild her life? YES, that would be Christlike and good, but not any of this other stuff.
If Bay doesn't recognize the error of her ways next season, I am going to be disappointed.
The injustice of Bay's decision to take the fall for Daphne is too much. To see people applauding Bay for it is heartbreaking.
Bay deserves better. I am glad that Emmett is not standing by Bay, at the moment. If he did, she might not ever recognize her mistake. And I want Bay to recognize that taking the fall for Daphne was a mistake.
I want that more than anything else in Season 4B.