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The characters understood each other so well. Tom knew to let B'Elanna have her independence, and B'Elanna knew that Tom would get caught up in his holoprogrammes.
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Understanding between them for their differences was always a highlight of their relationship. They only pushed the other when they knew that they needed to be pushed. When B'Elanna was hard on herself about her culture or working too hard or Tom was not focusing on work enough. Lots of give and take.