Fan Forum - View Single Post - Lorelai and Sookie Appreciation #2: Because Sookie's there to help plan the wedding

**Talula78** · 09-16-2013, 11:38 PM

I'm collecting some caps as we speak, but I came across this courtesy of oy-with-the-poodles-already & couldn't NOT post it!

Quote:

Sookie: It’s lodged in there! It’s stuck, for God’s sake! It’s not coming out!
Lorelai: You’re insane.
Sookie: And it’s growing all the time, just getting bigger and bigger. I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be expanding. I’ll get so huge, I’ll be the fat guy in “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.” I’ll explode and slime the whole room. People could die.
Lorelai: Honey, sit down, wrap this around you.
Sookie: Ooh! That Andrew. I hate that he was right, that pasty-faced bastard!
Lorelai: Right about what?
Sookie: Oh, no, I can’t sit.
Lorelai: Right about what?
Sookie: I looked up an elephant’s gestation period - 22 months!
Lorelai: You’re not an elephant.
Sookie: But Baby doesn’t know that.
Lorelai: Why would Baby think you’re an elephant?
Sookie: Because he’s tiny and stupid and floating around in a sack of fluid. He doesn’t know his butt from a hole in the ground.
Lorelai: What happened?
Sookie: You know, an elephant squirted me once at the zoo. Maybe it shot something on me - some kind of elephant-gestation juice.
Lorelai: Honey, I mean tonight. What happened? You were fine when I left you. Where did the freak-out come from?
Sookie: Are you listening? It’s not coming out! The ship’s too big and the bottle’s too small!
Lorelai: You have to sit down and rest.
Sookie: For two hours, I’ve been doing everything I can to make it come out. I mean, I’ve jumped, jiggled, shimmied.
Lorelai: Add a feather boa and I could book you on the burlesque circuit.
Sookie: My pain is funny to you.
Lorelai: No, but you should not be hopscotching all around town trying to get the baby out. That’s not how it works.
Sookie: This is my mother’s fault. She fed me too much roughage as a kid. Bran and granola and rapini. And now my insides are all rough and grabby, and Davey can’t work his way out of my sandpaper innards. I want booze. I want a Manhattan and a scotch and a beer and a Rob Roy and a sidecar. But I can’t, and I’m mad about that. I want to give birth!
Lorelai: I would give you a hug if you would sit still for one second.
Sookie: Yours came out. How’d you get yours out?
Lorelai: I swallowed a map.
Sookie: Cut the freaking vagueness. Why is it you mothers don’t want to pass down your wisdom to other mothers? You’re selfish.
4x07 - The Festival of Living Art