|
Master Fan
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 23,579
|
Edit: monique has posted her report and gave her permission to copy and paste it 
Quote:
The Tenure Turbulence
Scene 1
The guys are in the cafeteria.
Leonard: I was reading about a jellyfish that never dies. It reverts to it’s asexual state and starts over again.
Howard then makes a comment about his grandfather going back to an asexual state or something like that.
Leonard: My point is immortality is not a possibility, it’s real.
*Kripke walks over to the guys*
He asked the guys if they recalled smelling a horrible smell coming from professor Tuppermens office for about two weeks.
They all say, “Yes.” Kripke then informs them that the smell was professor Tuppermen, who died in his office right at his desk. Sheldon then wants to change the subject. His possible topic choices: brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle.
Howard: Sheldon! Someone died!
Kripke:…and turned into a puddle of gooo.
Kripke then relays to them all that the committee suggests that instead of flowers, that everyone bring Fabreze (it’s an air freshener for those who don’t know).
Kripke: no use crying over spilled professor. A tenure position just opened up. If you need my nose, it’ll be lodged in the rectum of a tenure committee member.
The guys then discuss that kissing ass to get that position is not something they’re interested in.
At some point (I forgot where this ties into the conversation), Sheldon makes a comment about the future of science and that humans could have chips in their heads that explode when they say something stupid. Raj says that he believes that people do their best work when they feel safe and secure.
Sheldon: *looks at Raj and makes an explosion sound as if an imaginary chip is exploding*
Raj mentions that if he doesn’t get the tenure position that he’d like Leonard or Sheldon to have it.
Sheldon: Raj, don’t give Leonard false hope like that.
Leonard then argues that he has just as much of a chance than Sheldon does for the position.
Sheldon: *looks at Leonard and does MULTIPLE explosion sounds*
Scene 2:
This is a play back scene that was pre taped and it goes by so quickly that I wasn’t able to write much down. It basically shows Leonard discussing the tenure situation with Penny, then it cuts to Raj & Howard explaining everything to Bernie, then it cuts to Sheldon explaining everything Amy. Deep down, everyone is thinking about how to get on the good side of tenure committee members, including Mrs. Davis. Sheldon has a flashback of his sexual harassment incident he was called in for with her and wondered if he had any luck of getting on her good side.
Scene 3:
Cal-Tech gym. Mrs. Davis ia there.. Leonard peers around the corner at her as if he’s stalking her.
Leonard: Heeeyyyy, Mrs. Davis! I didn’t know you worked out here!?!
Mrs. Davis: do I know you?
Leonard: Leonard? Leonard Hofstader? I’m trying to get into shape too. Like my father use to say, I have furniture disease: my chest fell into my drawers.
Mrs. Davis: Well, you have a nice day. *walks over to an elliptical machine*
Leonard: *walks over to an elliptical machine next to hers* Hello again!!
Mrs. Davis: Hello.
Leonard: I’m not familiar with this model. How do you make it start?
Mrs. Davis: you press “START”
Leonard attempts but can’t figure out why the machine isn’t moving.
Leonard: this one might be broken.
Mrs. Davis: you have to move it.
Leonard begins peddling the elliptical machine.
Leonard: Oh, yeah! I can feel it! I can do this for the rest of my life! Speaking of which, I read that you are on the tenure committee?
Mrs. Davis *to herself* I’ve got to get me a home gym.
In walks Kripke.
Kripke: *to Leonard* funny seeing you here for the first time since…EVER.
Kripke gets on to the elliptical machine on the other side of Mrs. Davis and starts kissing her ass too and asks her if she’s trying to work off the banana bread he made her. Leonard jumps into the conversation and starts talking about a delicious banana bread recipe but can’t finish because he’s so out of breath from going too fast on the elliptical machine. He tells her he’ll email it to her.
Leonard: *gets off machine out of breath* well, that’s enough cardio for me. I think I’ll stretch out before I hit the weights.
Leonard plops down on the floor and lays on his side.
Mrs. Davis: are you okay???
Leonard: *still out of breath* Call someone!
Scene 4:
Mrs. Davis is sitting in her office. She receives an email from Raj which features a 90 minute video about his life and how he got to where he is today (something that he hopes will inspire her to choose him for the position). “I’m not paid enough for this,“ she says to herself. The video is interrupted by, *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis! *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis! *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis!
She opens her door and of course, there is Sheldon standing there.
Sheldon: I may have given you the wrong impression of me and to make it up to you I want to give you a gift.
Mrs. Davis: that’s not necessary.
Sheldon: too late! Get ready to like me!
Sheldon then hands her the gift, she opens it and it’s the “Roots” (LOL) Mrs. Davis can’t believe her eyes and looks him him like WTF??
Sheldon: *about Roots* the tragic story of slavery in America….fun for the whole family.
Mrs. Davis questions him asking is that really an appropriate gift and he replies with a pause followed by, “You are black, right?”
After he leaves her office he makes a note to himself that he needs to stop off at a professor Morenelli’s office to drop off the Sopranos box set (2nd take was to professor Woo for the complete works of Jackie Chan).
Scene 5:
Cafeteria.
Leonard:*walking up to the table to sit with the other guys* gentlemen…
Raj: where have you been?
Leonard: nurses office.
Howard: you have an asthma attack?
Leonard: asthma…heart, some kind of attack, I’m fine.
Simon: you guys going to professor Tuppermens memorial service?
They all say, “No” in unison.
Sheldon: No…I barely knew him.
Howard then makes a remark about how they wouldn’t want to look like they’re brown-nosing the committee. He mocks the other three men and calls them “meerkats”
Scene 6:
Sheldon/Leonards Apartment.
Sheldon: *pooring tea for Amy* I won’t be able to make it out for out date night. That’s bad news for you.
Amy: you better have a good excuse. Trimming your Q-tips so they can fit in your ears is obvious nonsense.
He explains to her that he has to go to the memorial service of professor Tuppermen. He said the whole situation is tedious and he’d much rather go out with Amy for that or something along those lines. LOL.
Amy: in that case, maybe I should go with you?
Sheldon: I meant for you to drive me.
Scene 7:
Penny’s Apartment.
Leonard: Do anything interesting today?
Penny: Not really. I was out shopping with Amy for a memorial service.
Leonard: Sheldon’s gonna be there?? We all promised we weren’t going!
Penny: what a jerk. You want me to go for support?
Leonard: No…*he’s debating*
Penny: Let me tie my shoe while you think about it. *She gets off the bar stool and bends over in front of him as he watches*
Needless to say, he changes his mind about Penny coming along. He also jokes with her and tells her that her other shoe is untied.
Scene 8:
Raj’s apartment.
Raj: *on the phone* Come on, daddy!!! All the other scientists have seat warmers! How about I cut my cleaning lady to two days a week?? *looks over at his dog* Looks like we’re both gonna be living like animals.
(Once you see this episode, you’ll understand more about the “seat warmers”…everything comes into play with this whole tenure thing)
Scene 9:
This is the BEST scene in the entire episode and I literally have nothing to show for it. LOL. Maybe Kellee can help me remember some things?
It takes place in the hallway just outside of the multipurpose room where the memorial service for professor Tuppermen is being held.
Sheldon and Amy enter and Amy is going over “emotional responses” for Sheldon. Think back to that time where Sheldon ran away to Texas and his mom and him are doing the prayer together and he’s say the last word to every line? That’s what Amy was doing. She’s say something like, “professor Tuppermens death is really…” Sheldon would say, “sad….”
Next person who enters is Raj…who tells Sheldon he has some nerve showing up there, etc. The other two couples enter and they all begin to argue with each other for all trying to kiss tenure committee members asses to get what they’re after.
At one point, Leonard makes Penny take off her jacket to reveal their secret weapon: her little black dress and her boobs pushed up so high so that she could flirt with tenure committee members. Amy at one point asks Penny how the hell she gets her boobs to stay like that. LOL.
At one point Sheldon got competitive and told Amy, “don’t just stand there, take your breasts out.“ She looks at him like he’s nuts. Raj makes a mocks Sheldon for making the comment about her breasts and Sheldon replies, 'Are you trying to imply that my girlfriend has no sexual exploitative qualities (can't remember if he said "qualities or something else)??" The guys keep trash talking each other, Raj & Sheldon taking “Yo’ momma” jokes to sexual extremes. LOL. Not kidding. Raj saying something about being beneath Sheldon’s mother…then later when Raj says, “Screw it, I’m going in!” (to the memorial service) Sheldon replies, “ ‘Screw it, I’m going in’ is what I said to your mother.’” LMAO.
Then he turns to Amy and reassures her that nothing like that ever happened.
Sheldon: Coitus is ridiculous and off-putting. *he opens the door and enters the memorial service*
Amy: *to herself* I should have taken my breasts out when I had the chance.
Before this part was actually Kripke and Mrs. Davis entering the event before them all. Still kissing her ass.
Kripke: *to Mrs. Davis* Are you kidding? I would LOVE to baby-sit. Children love me. There’s something about me that makes them waff(laugh) and waff (laugh).
Also, before THIS Leonard had told them all that they should just stop fighting and allow their natural talents shine through. I remember Howard called them all meerkats at one point too.
Sorry, the scene was so funny and shocking at the same time that it’s a big mess written out but I hope you get the idea.
Scene 10:
Tag
Sheldon knocks on Mrs. Davis office door and when she doesn’t respond at first he said, “I know you’re here! I saw your car out in the parking lot.” She answers the door annoyed, “What?”
Sheldon then thanks her because he noticed that his, Leonards and Rajesh’s names where all placed on the short list for the tenure position. She then tells Sheldon that despite their quirks, they’re all well accomplished in their respective fields. He extends his hand for what looks to be a handshake and she extends hers to meet his, he smacks her hand from left to right, above and below fist pound, a crazy movement with his leg, etc. that makes up this crazy hand shake he made up.She looks at him like he’s nuts and says, “I’m gonna pretend like that did not just happen.” and closes her door. He raises his right fist and says, “Right on, sister!”
|
I haven't build up an opinion for this episode yet
but I love the name of the dead colleague, it sounds like tupperware (and he wouldn't have smelled if the he was "tuppered in"  )
__________________
 Sheldon/Amy "We can find out together"
~Susanne ~
Last edited by smoguntia; 03-06-2013 at 05:01 AM
|