|
Addicted Fan
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 4,852
|
I finally opened my laptop. Credits to Kyzzx from the tbbt forum.
Quote:
6.19
The Closet Reconfiguration
The episode open's up with Howard and Bernadette in their walk-in closet in their place, which is cluttered with clothes, shoes, photos, paper, everything you can think of. It looks horrible. Bernadette looks at Howard who's leaning over and picking up a shirt and shoes from the floor. "Whatcha dooooing?" she asks, and he says, "Cleaning up!" and he chucks the clothes he's holding onto the already huge pile in the closet.
"You can't just throw everything in the closet." she says. "Hey," Howard replies, "You can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex."
"We're having people over for dinner," she whines, "What if they see it? What if they're looking for the bathroom and walk in there?"
"No one's going to go into the closet."
"I guess you're right, but tomorrow we need to get this straightened out."
Howard thinks for a moment and says, "We could just let Sheldon see it." "Why?" she asks curiously.
He says, "Have you seen that apartment? Labels on everything. Even the label maker has a label on it that says 'label maker.' And if you look really closely on that label, there will be a really small label that says 'label.'"
She says, "Oh! We can't ask him to do that. That would be rude." and Howard says, "You don't have to! Just show it to him and let the little goblins in his head take care of the rest of it."
Later that night, Howard and Bernadette are waiting for everyone to arrive, excluding Raj who arrived early and is already on the couch. Howard opens the door and the rest of them walk in and Penny immediately says, "Mmm, smells good!"
Bernadette says thanks and says hi to Sheldon then says, "Sheldon, I know you usually eat thai food so I went to the store and got all the correct ingredients then made it from scratch!"
He says, "Aw, you shouldn't have." and she says, "No! It was my pleasure!" and he says again, "No, you really shouldn't have. I brought my own." as he holds up a bag with his thai food takeout boxes in it.
She stands there in disbelief for a second and looks at Leonard, "You got him takeout food?!" and Leonard kinda looks down and says, "I didn't have a choice - he wouldn't stop kicking the back of my seat..."
She says, "Sheldon, I've been cooking all day." and he looks at her for a second then says, "Aw... well, now don't you feel silly?" and he goes to sit down while she has this flabbergasted look on her face, and turns to Howard and aggressively whispers, "Show him the closet!"
Later, when they're all sitting down at the dinner table (minus Sheldon), Raj says, "Bernadette, the spring rolls are amazing." and she replies, "That's the takeout." and he looks at her and says, "Oh..." Then there's a long pause before he says, "It wouldn't have tasted so good if I hadn't had your food first." and everyone at the table realizes what he said, and then he scrunches his face like he's thinking really hard about what he just said. Bernadette looks down at her plate and keeps eating.
Sheldon walks out from the closet door on the other side of the common area, holding one of Howard's shirts on a hanger. "Howard, do you want your shirts organized seasonally or by color?" There's a silence. "Um, by color." and Sheldon quickly replies, "Ummm, no, they're going to be organized seasonally." and walks away.
Then everyone kind of makes a comment about how the closet is gonna look really good and Amy says, "That's just what he does. Last week he spent an entire hour organizing the cheese section at the supermarket." then she says something like, "That's a likeable trait." and there's a long silence yet again and she says, "Please someone agree with me!"
After they're done eating, Sheldon is seen sitting on the floor of the newly organized closet which looks GREAT. Leonard says it's time to go and Sheldon says, "Ooooh, five more minutes!"
Leonard mentions how late it is and Sheldon squeals, "How come I never get to do anything I wanna do!?"
Howard says to Leonard, "Well, you can let him stay and finish, I'll drive him home." and Sheldon looks up at Leonard and says, "PLEEEASSE? He said it's okay!" in a child-like manner.
Leonard says, "You do realize, it's, like-" and he looks at his watch for a split second and looks up again, "Wait. I can go home without you? BYE!" and he turns around and leaves.
Sheldon holds up three bowling pins and says, "Howard, I have a question. Are these bowling pins for juggling or are they from a set in which you're missing seven?" Howard says they're for juggling and Sheldon puts them on an appropriate shelf.
Bernadette walks in and says, "Oh, wow, it's beautiful!" and she looks over and sees the pins, "And I see you found the juggling pins I hate..."
Sheldon stands up and picks up an envelope on a box and says, "Howard, I also found this letter from your dad and upon reading it I found-"
In the middle of his sentence, Howard snatches the envelope from him and says, "You read it?!"
"Well, I had to find out if it was personal correspondence or memorabilia, so I could know where to put it-"
"WELLLLLL I could not be less interested!" Howard spits.
Bernadette asks him if he wanted to open it and Howard replies that if he wanted to, he would have years ago.
"Let's go." he says. Sheldon holds up a little container and says, "Can I bring this box of extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride home?"
Howard stares blankly. "Sure. Whatever you want to do."
They leave. Sheldon turns around quickly and says, "Great party!" to Bernadette.
Back in the guys' apartment building, Leonard and Penny are walking up the 3rd flight of stairs.
Leonard says, "You know, when I first met Howard, he would pull his scrotum out of his shorts and say, 'OOOHHH! I sat in GUM!'"
Penny has a shocked and 'wtf' look on her face and says, "What's your point?"
"Well, I don't know. He's just so grown up now. He's married, and throwing dinner parties..."
"Really? You couldn't just say that? You HAD to tell the scrotum story?"
"...tryin' to paint a picture."
Still walking up the stairs, Penny says, "It was a nice change of pace. Not eating takeout food around a coffee table."
"Yeah, we could throw one of our own dinner parties and dress up."
She says, "When you say 'dress up' you mean just dress nice, and not capes, tights, and crap, right?" as she's unlocking her door.
[On the first take he says, "We should make that clear in the e-invite."]
[On the second take he says, "Well..." and Penny yells, "NO!"] <--- lol.
At Bernadette and Howard's, it's late and Howard is sitting at the kitchen island thing and looks really tired. Bernadette asks him if he's okay and he says he can't sleep. She says, "You shouldn't have the espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big, but it's not worth it."
"No, it's this stupid letter." he says, holding it up.
"Did you read it?"
"No."
"You must be curious..." she says.
"I am! I haven't seen the man since I was a child and then I mysteriously get this letter on my 18th birthday."
"Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left."
Howard says firmly, "He abandoned me and my mother. Why does he deserve a chance to explain himself?" He stands up.
She says, "What are you going to do?"
"What I should have done a long time ago."
He walks over to the stove with the letter, turns on the stove, and lights the corner on fire. She asks him if he's sure and he says yes.
He then drops it into the sink and lets it just catch fire. She says, "Feel better?"
"Yes..."
They stand there, her arm around him, and then the smoke detector goes off.
They both look up, and Howard says, "Great. Neither of us are tall enough to reach that."
In Penny's apartment (I'm assuming the next day- it must be Saturday because Sheldon is doing laundry when this is happening), Penny, Amy, and Bernadette are talking about the letter.
Amy says, "I can't believe he set it on fire."
Bernadette says, "It freaks him out. He was already having a tough day because he accidentally wore my pants to work... I don't know why he was upset - they were bigger on him than on me. So I guess we'll never know."
Amy says, "Well, we could ask Sheldon."
Bernadette says, "I don't know, I can't ask him that. What kind of wife would I be if I invaded my husband's privacy like that?"
Penny says, "What if I ask Sheldon and you just happen to be in the room?"
"That works!"
Downstairs in the laundry room [which we haven't seen in a while!] Sheldon has gloves on and is removing the lint catcher from the dryer. He walks over to the trash can, empties it, shudders at how gross it is, and puts it back. "It's like I'm emptying the entire building's belly button."
The girls walk in and Penny says, "Hi, Sheldon." and he says, "What can I do for you?"
Amy says, "You have something we want!"
He says, "Oh, dear." He turns around, "My mother warned me about this happening in the big city."
"We just want information," Penny says.
"Oh! Well, I've got that in spades. Ravage me."
"You read Howard's letter, yes?"
"Yes."
"What did it say?"
"I can't tell you that! I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality. That information is owned by Howard."
Penny mentions that it was in Bernadette's closet and if that stands for something.
He crosses his arms. "Are you pointing out that California is a communal property state? That since they're married the law dictates that the information is actually owned by both spouses?"
Penny looks entirely too confused and quietly says, "Yeah. Obviously..."
"...well played. Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny."
In Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Raj is sitting on the couch and Leonard is sitting in his chair. Raj is looking through a binder and says, "Dude, you did the right thing by letting me help plan this party."
Leonard replies, "Actually, all I did was invite you."
Raj says, "I'm gonna make sure that your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass. How about this theme, turn of the century Moulin Rouge?"
"I think you need a testosterone patch, but I was just thinking something low-key. Like cocktails and jazz music."
"So, basically a re-run of Mad Men and crab puffs from Trader Joe's?"
[On the second take he says, "So, you're going for a theme of 'boring party cliches'? I thought you were saving that for your wedding.] <--- LOL, BURN!
Sheldon walks in holding his laundry basket. Leonard says, "Where have you been?" and Sheldon replies, "Oh, Leonard... if I was prone to sarcasm, I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets."
Leonard is angry and counts to 10 to himself and takes a breath. "What I meant was, 'GEE, SHELDON! You were gone a LOOONG time!'"
"I was actually trapped by Penny and forced into reveleaing confidential information about Howard's father."
"What information?" Leonard asks.
"I can't tell you, I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality."
"Just tell us." Raj says.
"Badgering me won't work. What WOULD work is saying Penny would tell us anyway."
"Then that." Leonard says.
"Very well!" Sheldon sits down. "Everyone's on their game today."
The next day, the dinner party is underway at the L/S apartment. Everyone is present except Howard and Bernadette. KALEY LOOKED SO HOT, OH MY GOD. The dress she is wearing. Yowza! I could not take my eyes off her! I felt like a perv. Hoooooolllyyyyy CRAP! I mean, everyone looked good, but, you guys. Oh my god.
Back to the report, sorry.
Amy says, "This is really fun." and Raj says, "It's nice to dress up once in a while."
Penny says, "The hors d'oeuvres are amazing." to which Leonard toasts, "As is the company!"
Sheldon dully says, "My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead." (lmao)
Leonard says, "Howard is almost here. Please don't anyone mention the letter."
Sheldon says, "Ugh. Then can we turn the latin orgy music off?"
Howard and Bernadette are walking up the stairs and he says, "I can't believe we still have to walk up all these flights of stairs."
She says, "Yeah, try doin' it in heels!"
He says, "I am!" and shows his shoes that have small 2inch 'heels' or something.
She looks at him before he opens the door to the apartment and says, "I have to tell you something. I know what's in your dad's letter."
He looks at her, says nothing, but you can see the anger brewing inside him. (Simon does an absolutely fantastic job, I just wanna say. He can totally be a serious actor when he needs to.)
He opens the door and yells, "SHELDON, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." It's extremely powerful. (I wouldn't want him yelling at me, yikes."
Sheldon quickly pulls Amy's body in front of him.
Bernadette quickly says, "No! I made him tell us!"
"US? Who else knows?!"
Penny says, "I know."
Leonard says, "I know."
Raj says, "Shame on you!"
Leonard whispers, "You know too!"
[On the first take, Raj says, "SHHH! Snitches get stitches!"]
[On the second take, Raj says, "Oh, sure! Don't even let him have one friend.] <--- lol!
Howard asks, "So... everyone knows what's in that letter except for me?"
Sheldon exclaims, "Yes! 6 against 1! Stand down, sir!"
Bernadette says, "Don't you wanna know what's in it?"
"NO! Well, yes... yeah, but I don't think I... I... I have to go." He sets down the bottle of wine he's holding and leaves the apartment.
Amy turns around and looks at Sheldon, "YOU USED ME AS A HUMAN SHIELD?!"
"I panicked! ...he looked taller than usual."
Howard's at home in his closet, sitting on the floor. Bernadette walks in. She says she's sorry and he says he's sorry for running out like that. She tells him it's okay and that she has a surprise for him and walks out.
He follows after her and is casually talking. "You know, I'm REALLY not in the mood to have sex. I mean if you need it that bad, I'll just lay there for you, but-" and he walks into the living room where Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, Penny, and Amy are sitting. He blinks and they all just stare for an awkward moment.
Sheldon goes into this long speech about how if he 'neither knows or doesn't know' what the letter said, he'll be more at east. So they proposed that they would each tell him one statement about what was in the letter. One statement would be true, five would not.
Howard sits down and listens. Raj starts by saying it's a birthday card that says, 'Howard, happy 18th birthday. I love you.'
Sheldon says there's a pirate and basically recites the plot to The Goonies, which Howard immediately notices.
Amy says that it was a letter saying sorry and that his father had a different life separate to the one with his family, and that it got too dangerous, and he had to leave to keep them safe.
Penny was next, saying that it was a letter saying that he was in the auditorium at his high school graduation, and that he cried because he was so proud of him.
[I can't remember Leonard's! I'm going to try so hard tonight to remember... augh.]
Bernadette said it was a photo of his dad holding him right after he was born and on the back of the photo it said, 'Howard, my son. My greatest gift.'
Sheldon asked him to choose one and he said, "I can't. I want them all to be true..."
Leonard confidently says, "Well, one of them are."
Howard feels a lot better and thanks them. Penny says they should get back to the party and have a nice time.
As they're all walking out the door, Sheldon says, "You know, your dad's letter wasn't the most interesting thing I read in the closet. Bernadette's diary had some saucy passages."
Bernie and Howard are staring at him like, 'oh no, you didn't.'
She says, "SHELDON, don't you DARE!"
He says, "Noo, no. Your secret's safe with me!" and then he gets in Howard's face and says, "Although copyright laws would dictate I would be able to quote passages for the sake of a review." and storms out.
In the L/S apartment, only Bernadette and Howard are dancing with each other. She says she's glad he feels better, and he says, "Yeah, me too. Although if I knew we were dancing, I would have worn my flats!"
Penny is holding Leonard's hand, "So, this turned out pretty well, huh?"
Raj says, "I agree. If you haven't been to a horrible party before."
Amy looks over at him, ever so matter-of-factly, and says, "If you let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in just the right place, you would be happy all the time."
Sheldon walks in from the hallway, and you can tell he was cleaning Penny's closet. He's holding a reusable bag.
He says, "Penny, I've found some things in your closet. For one, I found this dead turtle." He pulls out this tiny container with a tiiiiny turtle in it.
"Ohhh." she says, "I did have that turtle. I'm not crazy."
"Should I throw it away?"
"No, I love that little guy!"
"Annnnd I also found this battery powered hot dog..." and he's reaching in the bag to start pulling it out when Penny freaks.
She jumps up SO quickly from the chair (lol) and says, "Party's over!" and pushes Sheldon out the door.
[On the second take, instead of a dead turtle, it's a dead goldfish. Penny instead says, "Ohhh, I forgot to feed him. ...and that I even had him."]
---- end!
|
__________________
"Look at all these people in love. It kind of gets you thinking, doesn’t it?" "It does, indeed."  There's no shame in digging the SHAMY
Lollipop Guild Duchess~Anjelica~Tumblr Those Shamy Things Fan Art Thread #WemissyouMoyra
|