Thanks for the heads up on Geraldo tonight... I'll be watching, as much as it pains me on several levels. Sigh. No matter through what "channels" it gets accomplished, if she gets justice, it will be worth it in the end.
That's all we can hope for.
-----
When we last left our favorite pair in my tale, they had said they loved each other in Vegas, then Bobby had given Whitney an ultimatum to cut Kevin out of her life as much as possible.
----------------------------
Two Samurai, Chapter 11
Hollywood, CA
November 1991
The summer and most of the fall passed by with Whitney in a daze. The tour was a success, even though all of the cities started to look the same to her after a while. A stage, a crowd, the lights of just another town where she was, but Kevin wasn't. They had barely spoken in the past six months. Soon after her fight with Bobby about him, Kevin would call, and she either wouldn't answer or she'd make an excuse to get off the phone immediately. Other times she'd barely speak, just uttering an "okay" every now and then during the conversation, and trying her best not to cry. She never gave him a reason for her apparent change in behavior, and that hurt her more than anything, knowing how confused and sad he must be. Eventually, he'd simply stopped calling altogether.
In July, she'd driven to the studio for her costume fitting, sick to her stomach about seeing him, only to find out he'd already done his part of it the day before. She was sure it was to avoid seeing her, and she felt like such a fool about the whole thing. There were plenty of nights when she weighed the pain of not having him in her life -- a real, physical
ache to be with him -- against what she knew would happen if she defied Bobby's demand of cutting him out of her life. And she knew she could only hide so many wounds, both physical and emotional, from the press.
Whitney drove out to Beverly Hills, pulling her car into the only open parking spot at the mansion estate that was to be their movie set for the next couple of months. She took a few deep breaths, glancing down at her big, flashy engagement ring glittering in the sun. Yet another thing she hadn't told Kevin about. Bobby had proposed in August, in the back of a taxi. No big fanfare, just the standard question. Her heart had stopped for a few seconds. Every girl dreams of being proposed to, but it just hadn't seemed very romantic. She'd accepted, with almost-immediate pangs of regret in her stomach -- yet she knew it was the logical next era of her life. Anna had been thrilled; it was great for
PR, and besides, she couldn't carry on a real relationship with Kevin anyway. The public would eat her alive.
Every day since then had seen Anna bustling around making wedding plans. She didn't have any experience in it, but she'd seemed so excited to handle it all that Whitney, feeling rather numb about the whole thing, had left it in her hands. The only thing she had really wanted to choose herself was the dress, which she'd already ordered, then dropped off at a local shop for alterations.
She stepped out of the car, plastering a fake smile on her face and putting on a pair of huge sunglasses to shield against the midday brightness. She knew that today, she had to shine through all of her nerves and doubts and every heartbreaking thought that had crossed her mind over the past six months. Kevin was now to be her colleague, nothing more. That illicit relationship, as wonderful as it had been, was in the past.
***************
The first day of filming went without any major glitches. Whitney and Kevin were complete professionals, if not slightly cold toward each other. Every time she felt her feelings bubbling to the surface, she'd turn away from him and remind herself of the life she was about to begin, as someone else's wife. She knew she couldn't successfully move forward if she was still living in days gone by.
Later that evening, she sat in her small trailer, sipping a rum and Coke. It was rare for her to drink liquor, but she felt she'd earned it today. One day down, five more months to go. It seemed like such an impossible uphill climb, but she knew she could do it, as long as she avoided Kevin whenever possible.
There was a knock on the door, and Whitney sat her drink down, almost afraid to answer it. She opened the door just a crack, then the rest of the way when she saw it was only Anna, with a large white box in her arms.
"Your dress came back from the tailor," Anna spoke excitedly. "You need to try it on." She paused as she looked at the bride-to-be, who seemed hesitant. "What's wrong? Aren't you excited to see it?"
"Sure." Whitney smiled weakly, taking the box and stepping into her tiny bathroom with it. She hadn't packed the right undergarments for it, but several minutes later, she emerged with the dress on, gingerly tugging it up at her underarms.
"Oh my goodness, you look
so beautiful!" Anna gushed. "Come look at yourself!"
They walked a few steps to a full-length mirror leaning against one wall. Whitney tilted her head, examining the dress. It really was beautiful, a bright white, off-the shoulder design with a lacy bodice and a short train. It wasn't fussy or overdone. She thought back to the first time she'd seen it, on a mannequin in a storefront on the Vegas strip, while walking arm in arm with Kevin. Her fantasy then of where she'd wear it was a little different than her reality now, but nevertheless, it was the dress she wanted and it was perfect on her.
As Whitney turned around to look at the back of it in the mirror, there was another knock on the door. Anna walked quickly across the room, opening the door widely. Kevin stood just outside, in a windbreaker and jeans.
"Oh...hey," she said, an awkward inflection in her voice. "Umm, come on in, I guess."
"Thanks. Do you know where --" He froze mid-sentence as he saw Whitney in the wedding gown, his eyes sweeping quickly down her frame. "Which scene is that for? Did they change something at the end? Because I sure don't remember
this part." His voice was quiet.
Whitney closed her eyes, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat as Anna spoke.
"Funny! This is hers. For her
wedding?" She said it as though he should have known.
Kevin reached out an arm, steadying himself against an old brown recliner. "Her wedding," he repeated softly.
"Yes, next summer! Didn't you know? I mean it's been all over the --"
"Anna, please," Whitney softly interrupted her assistant.
"What?! It
has been all over the media! I've made sure of it." She shifted her weight to one foot, looking back at Kevin.
"I need to talk to Kevin for a minute," she said, lifting the train of the dress up and stepping away from the mirror. "What I mean is, could you step out for a while?" she continued when Anna didn't budge. She'd never seen Kevin look so sad, and it was breaking her heart.
After Anna left, Whitney and Kevin looked at each other for a few silent seconds, then she moved over to the couch, smoothing her dress out around her legs as she sat down. Kevin was still standing near the door.
"Hey," she began softly.
"Hi."
"I, uhh... so, I'm getting married." She looked away from him, nervously scratching the back of her neck.
"I see that. You know, I only came over here to tell you how great you did today. I sure didn't expect to see this." He walked toward Whitney, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. "But I guess I should have known, with the way things were going. I mean, you don't usually tell someone you love them and then barely talk to them again, unless things have changed somehow."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I meant to...I really did. I meant to call you. I just got busy."
"For six straight months?"
Whitney took a breath, then let it out with a sigh. "I love him, Kevin."
He seemed to ignore her words, his eyes slowly traveling over her bare shoulders and down her torso to the bottom of the white dress. "You look stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. I can't take my eyes off of you. But I was hoping when I saw you in this dress, it wouldn't be for someone else. I thought we --"
"
Stop it, Kevin. Don't do this. I really do love him." She'd turned into a pretty good liar over the past few months.
He laughed dryly, hands running over his own leg. "That's hysterical. Now, why don't you try again, with the truth this time?"
She finally managed to look him in the eye. "I'm marrying him. In July. Nothing's gonna change that." Her gaze was stubborn and defiant. "We've been together for over two years and this is the next thing that needs to happen."
"This isn't a step-by-step instruction manual, Whitney. This is your
life. And I'm having a
really hard time believing that this is what you want."
"Well, it is." Her heart was pounding in her ears as the dreaded conversation continued. It was taking every bit of energy that she had to not cry. She felt completely drained.
"So, what does that mean for
us, then?"
She looked away without answering, unable to meet his eyes with hers.
Kevin ran a hand through his short hair, his voice growing louder and more insistent. "I don't think you understand. When I told you that I love you, I meant it. I wasn't playing around! And you weren't either, when you said it back to me. I know you well enough to know that."
"If you're so serious about
us, then why do you still have a gold band on your finger?" she spat, looking at him accusingly.
He glanced down at his ring, shaking his head and speaking softly. "That's complicated, Whitney, and you know it."
"So's this." She gestured toward her dress, barely able to get her breath. She surely hadn't planned on their first conversation in months going this way.
Kevin laughed again. "Yeah. I guess it must be. Well, I'll get out of your way then.
Congratulations. I'm very happy for the two of you."
He didn't turn to look back at her as he walked out of the room in four steps, slamming the door hard behind him. Whitney cringed as the sound reverberated off the walls. She leaned back against the sofa cushions, brushing away the soft, hot tears that she could no longer keep from streaming down her cheeks.
********************
December 1991
Three weeks had passed, and they'd barely talked at all. Whenever they were alone, which wasn't often, Whitney waited for him to bring up the wedding, but he never did. He just talked about the movie, their characters, the scene they were working on. All business. It was really hurtful the way he seemed to have forgotten all about her -- all about
them -- but she knew she deserved it. It had been her choice, and she stubbornly maintained that she was making the right one.
It was easy when their characters were mad at each other. Those had been the first scenes they shot, and everyone was impressed with the bitter fireworks between the two of them.
If they only knew the truth, she thought. It had been much harder, however, to film the scenes where she had to flirt with him.
After several failed takes of a scene where she asks him out, Kevin pulled her aside, stepping under a large palm. "Listen, I don't care if you like me or not. I need you to pretend you're interested, okay? This is
acting. Just do it well, and we can both go home for Christmas. I know you want to get away from me."
His choice of words and sharp attitude stung her more deeply than she wanted to admit. Despite her actions, she wasn't over him. Not even close. And she didn't know how he'd managed to recover from the whole thing so quickly.
"Yeah, I got it," she said defensively, brushing past him back out to the path. She was eager to be finished with all of this; past ready for a break.