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Master Fan
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 23,579
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Report from Kyzzx from the other Forum
Quote:
6.13
The Bakersfield Expedition
[L/S Apartment]
Sheldon is standing near the kitchen island and is steaming a Star Trek uniform shirt.
Leonard walks out from the hallway and sees that he's doing it and asks if he'll 'see his shirt' later.
Sheldon replies that he can't because he doesn't want to split the work since Leonard didn't go in half with him on buying a steamer. "I recall you saying, 'Sheldon, we don't need a steamer.'"
Penny knocks and comes in. "Hey I have these sponges you wanted."
Leonard says, "Ah, thanks! I didn't realize I was going to need this many." and he bends down and opens this intricate makeup box on the coffee table. Penny is eye-balling it and says, "Wow, you have more makeup than I do."
He puts the sponges in.
She adds, "And better makeup than I do. What is this for, anyway?"
"We're going to Comic Con."
"Didn't you guys just go to Comic Con?"
"Yeah, that was San Diego Comic Con. This is Bakersfield Comic Con."
"Oh. Is it better?"
"It's a comic book convention. Well, it's smaller. It's more about the 'comic books' and how the big conventions used to be before it got all mainstream."
Sheldon adds, "So, no." (which I found a surprising answer?)
She says, "Well, see you on Sunday, I guess."
Leonard says, "Yeah." and they kiss.
He says, "Here, hold this." and hands her a newspaper. He gets close to her and takes a self-shot picture of them together with his cell phone.
She says, "What's that for?"
He replies, "In case they don't believe me."
 Haha.
[Restaurant]
Penny, Bernadette, and Amy are having brunch in this very country-looking restaurant.
They're drinking mimosas and Penny says, "You drink booze during breakfast during the week and you have a problem, but you do it on the weekend, and it's brunch!"
I forget exactly what's said here and Bernadette starts saying, "You should have seen Howard sewing his costume for Comic Con all week."
Penny says, "When did Howard learn how to sew?"
She says, "When he was a young boy. Every couple months he'd have to let his mom's pants out."
They all start talking about how they don't know why the guys find comic books as interesting as they do.
Bernadette says, "Maybe we should give them a try to see what it's about."
Penny says, "That is a GREAT idea!" and looks down at her mimosa and says, "How many of these have I had?"
They agree to go to the comic book store after brunch.
[Car Ride - Bakersfield Comic Con]
The four guys are in the car and Leonard is driving. Sheldon is wearing a mischievous smile. He finally tells Leonard he doesn't trust him with driving to Bakersfield without the GPS. Leonard tells him it's fine because the GPS is on, but Sheldon's not having it because the audible turn-by-turn directions aren't turned up, so he does. Then it starts speaking, in SHELDON'S voice, lol. He says, "I downloaded a software and recorded my voice so I could replace it on the GPS!" There's a silence. "Turn left at ______ Ave." Sheldon says, "It sure sounds like it knows what it's talking about."
You can tell the guys all want to die, because it says something like, "In 400 feet, make a right turn, then go (down some street)." Then there's a silence for a second before you hear, "And here's an interesting fact! Did you know that highways that are labeled with an even number run East and West? That ones labeled with odd numbers run North and South?" and it just keeps going on and on and on.
Howard finally says, "Hey, Leonard. There's a bridge. Can you drive off of it?"
[Comic Book Store]
Penny, Bernadette, and Amy walk into the comic book store and every guy (probably 8 of them) are all staring at them and are completely still. They're creeped out. Bernadette says, "Why are they staring...?"
Amy whispers, "Who cares? Just soak it all in." (It zooms in on all the dudes' faces, LOL.) She walks in a couple steps more and touches her hair. "Hello, boys."
Stuart walks up and says hello and asks what they're doing there. They tell him that they wanna know why the guys like it so much and that they wanna give it a try.
Stuart says, "What do you think you might be into? Superheros? Graphic novels? Manga?" and looks around at all the guys staring and says, "Can you all stop staring? They're just girls! It's nothing you haven't seen before. In movies or drawings..." and they all go back to what they're doing.
They ask what the guys like and he says, "A little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuf-" and he turns around to all the guys and says, "I swear to god I WILL TURN THE HOSE ON YOU!"
Amy says, "Well, who is the best superhero?"
Stuart flails over to her and is like, "SH SHHH SHHH SHHHH! You can't just come in here and ask that question! You want to start a rumble?!"
She apologizes and Penny asks what he'd recommend. They walk to the far wall and he says, "Well you have your basic superhero. Superman. Spider Man. Captain America. Then you have your dark anti-heroes, like Batman. The Punisher..."
Amy says, "Oh, I do like a bad boy."
Penny replies, "As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters."
Stuart says, "I would recommend Fable's 1. The art is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women." He hands it to Amy as Penny looks to her left and sees a comic book and exclaims, "Oh, THOR! He's hot."
Stuart looks down. "Yeah, he kind of is..."
They all look at him, like, wtf.
[Vasquez Rocks - (an area in North Los Angeles County were lots of Star Trek stuff was filmed)]
The guys are driving by this national area and Raj says it would be really cool to stop by the rocks, put on a little makeup and do a photoshoot. So they stop and are doing makeup and Raj is doing makeup on Sheldon. It looks incredible, and you can tell he's supposed to be Data.
Raj says he's done and Sheldon looks at himself in the mirror and he gasps in awe a little. He says, "I know Mr. Data would not be one to smile, but, here it is." and he smiles really big. You see Howard and Leonard walk up and they all start posing in different ways and are taking pictures with a camera and self-timer.
Leonard says they need to do a battle pose and Sheldon just stands there with his hand on his chin.
"What are you doing?"
"Data's weapon is his mind. I'm harnessing it."
They start doing more poses and all of the sudden they hear Leonard's car's engine start up and the car is driven away as Raj is yelling, "Someone's stealing your car!" Raj tries to call 911 but then they all realize that ALL of their phones are in the car in their other pants.
After some freaking out about what to do, they suggest hitchhiking and the next person just drives right on by. Leonard says there has to be a gas station nearby so they start walking.
[Penny's Apartment]
The three girls are sitting in Penny's apartment. Amy and Bernadette are done reading their comic and you can tell they're waiting for Penny to finish hers. As she closes the last page she says, "I'm done! Hey, how are you already done?"
Bernadette says, "Well it's a lot of pictures and one page only had one word." (I forget the word she used.)
They ask each other what they thought.
Amy says, "Well, it's had a lot of action. The dialogue was quick and the story moved at a brisk pace. But I can't find the word for it... it was..."
Penny says, "Stupid?"
"OH, soooo stupid!"
"I can't believe Leonard gets so caught up in this stuff."
"I can't believe they actually fight about stuff in these."
Penny says, "Yeah, it's ridiculous. I mean, come on. A hammer so heavy that no one else can lift it? Pffft."
Bernadette says, "I can see that. It's Thor's hammer."
"That doesn't make any sense, though. If Thor is touching the hammer, can someone else pick it up?
At the same time, Bernadette and Amy say "yes" and "no." and start talking about the physical reasons why and why it would not work.
Bernadette says, "Maybe we should read them again..."
So Penny picks up her comic and starts to read. Bernie asks Amy if she wants tea and she says yes and that she'll help her.
Penny says, "I thought we were reading?"
Amy says, "We are. We're just... givin' you a head start."
[Vasquez Rocks]
The guys are walking and they are all discouraged except for Sheldon. He has a touching mini-speech which I forget, and says, "We have always dreamed about being a part of a fantasy world, and now... here we are."
Then a car drives by and throws a slurpee at Sheldon. It's all over his shirt. He gets sad and they keep walking.
[Penny's Apartment]
Back at Penny's, they're still fighting about Thor's hammer. Amy's saying, "No! It can't be picked 'up' because in space there is no 'up'!"
Penny says, "Oh, yeah? Well then how does the SUN come up EVERY DAY?"
Bernadette says, "You know what, the guys have a bunch of comic books, we should look at those."
Penny says, "Yes! That's a great idea so you can see how not-wrong I am!" She grabs the guys' apartment key out of her key bowl by the door and they walk across the hall. Penny adds, "You'll see that anyone can pick it up in space because it's floating around in a weightless environment! SEE, the slow reader just used science! HA."
[Diner]
The guys eventually make it to a diner somewhere near where they were stranded. They are all dusty and Sheldon has dried Slurpee on him and everyone in the diner in staring.
Sheldon quietly says, "Hello." then looks to the other side and says, "Hello..." He looks over to the waitress who's staring and says, "May I have four glasses of water?" He turns around and says, "Anything for you guys?"
Leonard says, "Can we use your phone? Our car got stolen with everything in it and we have to get back home."
The waitress says, "I dunno, how about you call Scotty and have him beam you up?" and everyone starts laughing.
Sheldon slowly says, "Well. Scotty was in The Original Series. We're from The Next Generation. So the joke's on you."
Howard turns to the guy nearest to him who's staring and says, "We're not with him." and then looks down in shame.
[L/S Apartment]
The girls are sitting in there and eating Chinese food and talking about comic books (which I found very symbolic).
Bernadette's saying, "When Thor picks up the hammer and the Hulk picks up Thor, by the law of transient power, the Hulk is actually picking up the hammer."
Amy disagrees, "No, no. The Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer."
Penny says, "Wait. So you're saying if I went to a bar and picked up a guy and the guy picked up a girl and we all left together - did I pick up the girl?"
Amy looks at her and smiles, "Did that really happen?"
Penny is silent for a second then puts her hands up, "Hey, we talkin' 'bout me or Thor?"
[Diner]
The guys are sitting at a table in the diner. Howard is missing from the table but the other three are talking to a cop as he's asking if there's anything valuable in the car.
Leonard says, "Well, yeah. Our clothes. Wallets. Cell phones."
Raj adds, "And $300 worth of makeup so the thief could look like anyone by now!"
The cop is just like, "Uh huh..."
Leonard says, "We were supposed to go to this comic book convention in Bakersfield. It's pretty cool. We're cosplaying."
The cop sarcastically says, "That sounds cool."
"Oh, it is."
The cop says, "Well that's about all I need. Is there anyone you need me to call? Possibly your moms?"
Leonard goes, "Psssh. No. We've got that taken care of, thanks."
Howard comes out from where a phone booth was and says, "So I just got off the phone with my mom."
The cop walks off.
Howard sits down and says, "She arranged for us to have a rental car."
Raj starts talking about how he wants to go to the Comic Con still.
Leonard says, "You know, I really don't even want to go any more. I just want to go home."
Howard says, "I want to go home, too."
Raj says, "Well, Sheldon, looks like it's you and me. Two against two. How do we solve this?"
Sheldon looks up, somberly. "It's actually three against one..."
"What?"
He starts to talk about how they have fun cosplaying, but says, "We are characters, but I'm tired of doing this and having real-life people throwing real-life garbage at us and talking about us like we're idiots. And frankly, I'm starting to feel like one." He looks over to Leonard with the saddest eyes ever and quietly says, "I want to go home now."
Raj says, "...okay. Can we still at least rent the car from Enterprise?"
*collective silence*
"Oh, come on! That was FUNNY!"
[Staircase]
The guys are walking up the staircase like they're tired since they've had a very long day.
They walk up to the apartment door but don't open it because they can hear the girls talking.
"So that doesn't mean that you can pick up the hammer just because you're in the position of someone else who can!"
"But what I'm saying is that the Red Hulk can pick up the hammer because he's touching the strap."
"That doesn't work like that, he can't pick up the hammer."
"The STRAP is part of the hammer!"
There's collective chatter about the comic books going on but you hear Raj say, "Are they really arguing about comic books?"
Howard says, "Maybe Red Hulk is a new kind of... nail polish?"
Sheldon says, "There's only one reasonable explanation. In the desert we walked into another dimension. A dimension in which the women in our lives understand great literature."
You hear, "But if red Hulk can pick up the hammer then what does that mean?"
"You can only pick up the hammer if you are worthy, though."
"So what? Red Hulk is worthy."
Penny says, "Oh, please. What makes him worthy?"
Bernadette says, "YOU don't know his LIFE!"
Raj says, "Well, this seems like a good time to be a... landing party."
There's a silent agreement about the group and Leonard says, "Let's go in." Sheldon pulls out his phaser and says, "We have to be careful. They might be hostile."
They all put out their own phasers and Leonard says, "Yeah, but set them to stun. If you obliterate Penny I'll kill you because I'll never have a girlfriend that pretty again."
He shoves open the door and they all bounce in.
[Tag]
The thieves (who are stereotypical looking Hispanics) are shown driving the car, with the Sheldon-fied GPS system still running. It's telling them history facts as it would have been if the guys were still driving it. The guys look like they are displeased, however, when the voice on the GPS says, "Here's an interesting fact - did you know (I forget the fact, sorry)" the guy driving says, "Wow. That was interesting!" and the GPS comes on again and says, "Here's another question, when did (forget this, too). Find out in 4 miles!"
The guy looks over to the other and says, "Aw, yeah! Another quiz!" and then they fist bump.
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