megfsc

Hey everybody! I hate that I've contributed to the recent slowness here lately. I've had an insanely busy weekend, but I agree that there's a lot to talk about, and we need to get down and dirty and pick apart every little thing we can before something really huge happens and we're all just shaking in the corners (or parading through the streets, depending on whatever it is that could possibly happen this season, at this point it's so hard to predict).

Anjel, of course what you say makes sense, and you should keep it up, because I always want to springboard off of your posts, and your topic about fear was EXACTLY what I wanted to talk about, so when I saw you bring it up, I was like YEEEEES!!!!!

Okay, so I'm happy to see we've moved on to an equally exciting topic...Sheldon in love!


Gosh, I love these questions, Stardust!

So I definitely agree with this. I can see it in his expressions, actions, his words (as you cited the Spiderman speech). Last season, it was more difficult to see if whether or not he was falling in love, but now I think he's showing some pretty clear signs of being there, and the huge effort on his part to compromise this episode is certainly one of the more clear examples.

You have broken my heart, Rae. Broken. My. Heart.

But, like the flag over Fort Sumter, I'm still here...


So PSYCHOLOGY TIME!!! Mid-last season sometime we were talking about how much Sheldon could be aware of (and I think the consensus at the time was "not much at all") and if he could be in love with Amy. There was also lots of talk of the stages and types of love (i.e. committed love and romantic love, etc) and I brought up one of my favorite things in the world...it's a list of characteristics that people who are in romantic love possess.

So for the sake of this discussion, I'm talking about romantic love in the context of the rush, electricity, spark, and feelings of contentedness mixed with joy, excitement, and all of the chemical/ physiological and emotional responses associated with being in a state of love like this. It's important to note that this is different from committed love, or love that displays a distinct level of commitment and comfort. This is often seen as the "boring" kind of love, or as I like to call it "oatmeal stirring" (or maybe now I should call it "tea making") love that grows over time. This USUALLY comes after romantic love in a relationship, but in cases like Sheldon and Amy, where companionship and commitment was fostered early on, this was present before the romantic love, and continues to develop within it. But we all know that Sheldon and Amy are in a state of committed love, and if you presented signs of committed love to them, I'd sure they'd both agree. It's the romantic love that we're interested in here.

So this list is one that I sort of brought up in passing last season, and with everything that has happened since then, I think it's time for an update. So below, are 12 characteristics that can be used by psychologists to determine if a person is operating within a state of romantic love (as opposed to just friendship, lust, infatuation, or something different).

1. focused attention on the preferred individual--Sheldon spends much of his free time with Amy, and is intently focused on her when she is around, while conversely is distracted when he cannot get in touch with her. They seem to have adopted the practice of spending at least several nights a week together, and much of that is alone time that we hear about anecdotally from one of them.

2. rearrangement of priorities--For one thing, if we accept that they spend all of this time together, then we must also accept that Sheldon has completely changed his weekly schedule, which he used to follow religiously. For example,when's the last time we've heard anything about Halo night?

3. Increased energy, noticeable shift in mood--We've discussed at great lengths Sheldon's noticeable shift in mood. From physics mad libs, to admiring himself as looking like "the flash about to get married". Just in everyday life, with almost everyone around him, Sheldon laughs more (and more naturally), smiles more, and is generally more pleasant that he was pre-Amy.

4. Sympathetic nervous system responses--There are many examples of this. First one that comes to mind is when he asked her to be his girlfriend, there was a noticeable change in his breathing, anxiety was high. Even clearer examples are during their Star Trek roleplaying, his chest was heaving and his pupils were dilated. We could also point at his physical responses before and after holding her hand in the finale.

5. Emotional Dependence-- He goes to her with problems. He reached for her hand in a time of emotional distress. He bought a clowder of cats when they were briefly separated because he was emotionally attached.

6. Elevated sexual desire--His "seeing the universe naked" comment and shudder that followed. (This is one that I think we're going to continue to see more of slowly, even with little hints, like the fact that he would have considered a hickey).

7. Sexual Possessiveness--'She is not for you!' also, his worry that she and Stuart were going to have intercourse on their date.

8. Obsessive thinking about him/her-- Pretty much all of TFSA, his obsessing over Stuart and Amy...also his near obsessive need to contact her when she's not available. He cannot escape thinking of her during times when he should be working...times that he sees as almost sacred.

9. Craving emotional union with the individual--Spending great amount of time with Amy, going to her for advice on different topics, the handholding is a big one here.

10. Affiliative gestures (establishing that they are bonded in some way)--asking her to be his girlfriend, the relationship agreement, 'She is not for you!', all of the "we" speak, handholding as a common activity that they partake in now, couples' costumes to show everyone that they are bonded.

11. Goal-oriented gestures-- Sheldon wanting to keep her away from other men (goal), by making her his girlfriend...his attempt to appease (goal) her by shopping for a gift for her aunt's party, and trying to find a way that he could go, despite his own protests. He wants her to not be angry at him (goal), he apologizes to her earnestly once, then buys her a tiara on another occasion. He wants to make her happy (goal) by compromising on a costume.

12. Intense motivation to obtain and maintain this particular mating partner--Asking her to be his girlfriend, buying her a tiara to try to right his wrong, apologizing sincerely to her, offering her coupons to try to keep her happy. We're seeing even more of this during this season. the speech at the anniversary dinner in an effort to keep her from leaving him. Holding her hand at he movie theater to make her happy. Compromising on costumes to make her happy.

So, I like this list because it's REALLY difficult to pass the "test" accurately for being in romantic love if you really aren't, because these characteristics are pretty specific.

A person is considered to be in a state of full romantic love if they meet SIX of the twelve characteristics above, with each extra characteristic that applies adding to the intensity. Sheldon EASILY meets all twelve.

Keep in mind that this is ROMANTIC love, or the kind of hot, electric, rush of hormones and feelings, kind of love, and we can clearly prove that Sheldon is showing all of the attributes of this love more than we can even prove about Amy at this point. (Of course I believe Amy is right there with him, it's just that we know more about Sheldon's day-to-day life than we do about Amy's.)

So, psychologically, I can certainly say that Sheldon is in love with Amy, both romantically and committedly. As far as awareness, it's harder to say. I doubt he even thinks about whether or not he is in love as far as criteria, but we certainly know at this point that he knows something is up inside of his mind (as evidenced by his talk with Leonard in TLA), and he hasn't done a single thing to combat this phenomenon or change the relationship, in fact, he seems to continually be moving forward with it this season. So whether or not he is completely aware of what it is he's feeling inside, we have no doubt that he likes it and doesn't want it to stop.