GobSmacked82

OK, shippers. Kevney's time in Mozambique is up. I hope you all enjoy this one.

The dinner arrives, and KC and WH walk up to the door of his accommodations. He puts his hand on the knob, and smiles down at Whitney before turning it.

KC: This should be really good.
(Whitney simply smiles and nods her head. Kevin opens the door and gestures for her to go inside first. He follows her, then introduces her to his brother, and Whitney and DC give each other civil handshakes.)
DC: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Houston. I thought I saw someone familiar on that boat earlier. You stood out, even among the natural splendors of Mozambique.
WH: Well, I should hope so!
(Everybody laughs. DC offers Whitney a glass of wine.)
WH: I don’t drink. (waves off the offer.)
KC: You sure? We even have a light reisling.
WH: (Shakes her head silently.)
DC: Well, can I get you a club soda?
WH: (Shakes her head)
DC: Cola?
WH: No
DC: Juice with a club soda? (Smiles and tries to be friendly)
WH: (shakes her head)
KC: Really? It’s still fairly warm right now. You shouldn’t let yourself get dehydrated.
WH: Well, if you insist, Kevin. Thanks. I’ll just have some plain ice water. I don’t know who got the idea I was a wine or club soda drinker.
(Kevin looks slightly taken aback. )
KC: Well, sure. Umm. Just have a seat over there.
(KC gestures to the couch where DC has already sat. He’s smiling pleasantly at Whitney, although he’s starting to look uncomfortable. She sits waaay on the other side of the long couch. Whitney shifts around in her seat until KC hands her a glass of ice water.)
WH: Thanks, Kevin. (She doesn’t look at Dan at all.)
DC: So, um. You’re vacationing in the area? How did you find this place?
WH: Well, yes. I’m on a break from the whole LA/New York/Hotlanta craziness. I wanted to be as far away from studios, sets, magazines, TV shows, blogs, boutiques and hair salons as possible. Well, maybe not the last two.
(Everybody laughs. KC looks at DC, like he’s slightly tense.)
DC: But you aren’t ever in desperate need of the last two, ever. I can tell.
WH: I know that. (Sips her water. Doesn’t look at Dan. Takes a deep breath and checks her watch. Smiles faintly and looks around.) This place is smaller than I expected.
DC: Yeah, well, I … I figured Kevin and me would just … umm, get a two-room place and let ---- have an entire place to herself.
WH: That’s fair. What lady comes all the way out here just to be around a sausage-fest for any part of her entire vacation anyway? (Whitney swerves her neck and looks at Kevin.)
KC: What? (His face blanches and he glances at DC, who uncrosses his legs.)
WH: That’s my phone.
KC: I didn’t hear any phone ...
WH: Does this place have a bathroom? I know mine does, but I don’t know about all the accommodations around here.
DC: (Stands up to show Whitney.) It’s a straight shot down Main Street. That small hallway there.
WH: Oh nice. And the bedrooms are on the side? So everybody can hear when someone gets up for the bathroom at night. Charming.
(Whitney goes to the bathroom. For like 15 minutes. Kevin knocks.)
KC: Did you fall in?
WH: Oh, I’m fine. No need for a hall monitor!
KC: (Taps softly) Open the door, Whitney. Please.
WH: (Opens the door.) Sure. Come on in. Does Dan need to join us, too?
(Kevin’s face reddens and he moves her gently inside. Shuts the door.)
KC: Are you, um? Are you OK? Is it like Paris, you know? With the tight chest and shortness of breath and all? We can get whatever you need to make you feel at home, Whitney.
WH: I’m fine. This is not an anxiety episode.
KC: So what are you doing?
WH: Texting.
KC: Who?
WH: Krissy. Cissy. I owed Dionne a call from two days ago. Then ––– called and said he was trying to track me down—
KC: Whitney, please. You’re just being like this? You won’t look at or speak to Dan in any kind of way that I would call nice. Dan, who is a nice guy and my brother. We canceled plans, and went to all this trouble to make it private and small so you wouldn’t be on edge.
WH: My attitude is your problem. I told you I wanted to avoid all this. But you had to make it a big family extravaganza.
(So they start bickering about how he met Dionne and she met Annie, and Whitney points out that those were work-related situations, and that this is way out of bounds …)
WH: AND, if we get exposed because of this, even partially, I’ll tell everybody I wasted my time on you, because you ain’t even all that!
(Kevin looks like she just slapped him.)
KC: Can we try to make the best of it? Give the guy a fair chance for my sake.
WH: Maybe. If we keep it short and I can go back to my private evening with my iPad and a cool bath.
KC: I’ll make it worth your while. Promise. Let’s go.
(They exit the bathroom, Kevin first, because Whitney pushed him out ahead of her. She doesn’t look at Dan. Dan looks at Kevin, then at Whitney and scratches his left ear nervously. Whitney puffs a deep breath and looks away.)
KC: Let’s um, put dinner together. Whitney knows how to put together a nice large, stuffed scallop dish, right?
DC: Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. For a superstar, anyway, right?
(KC and Whitney look at Dan. So Whitney sets to making the scallops, while Dan puts together the risotto and Kevin does a salad or something. Soon they are sitting down to dinner. All you hear is chewing and silverware on the plates.)
DC: Well, have you gotten to see any of the sights?
WH: I did some shopping, polking around in markets, fairs. That sort of thing. It’s a simple place. I said before I came here to get away from all that business, you know?
DC: Well, I know they have really good diving here. That’s what we came for. You can shop and tweet and text anywhere, but I think it takes some special imagination to try to find a piece of history and mingle with the locals. (shrugs and takes a sip of his wine.)
WH: (Laughs dryly.) So I’m not imaginative?
DC: Well, I don’t know. Maybe you are more colorful and engaging with people you like or something. Or have known a long time. Or you think are on your level.
WH: Oh, I’m cold, now? And stuck up?
DC: There are worse things to be. Especially for ‘world-class’ women. (He looks straight at Kevin.)
(The table doesn’t erupt into chaos, but a deep freeze blows over. Kevin is caught right in the middle.)
KC: Dan, Whitney. I don’t know what’s going on here. Why dinner was such a disaster.
WH: I need a car.
KC: What are you talking about?
WH: Dan, I’m sorry.
DC: Oh, my. The Sun goddess has looked at me.
WH: (Bites her lower lip.) This was a bad idea. We both know that. But if Kevin calls my car, please, I’ll just put an end to this whole thing right away.
KC: Come on, guys. There is no reason for this.
(Whitney turns away and grabs her glass. Dan sits back and looks at Kevin.)
DC: You’re right, bro. There is no reason for this load of crap!
KC: (Jaw drops. Whitney slams her glass down and he spins around in time to put her back in her seat.)
DC: There is no reason to keep shoveling all this crap on you. And your friend here is the best damned actress on the Western Hemisphere. I’m calling it!
(Then the table erupts in to chaos. Whitney squeals, walks around and high-fives Dan. He rests his arm over her shoulder, and they deal with Kevin, who is slouched back in his chair. Doesn’t know how to react.)
WH: We got him!
DC: We got him good!
KC: What are you two doing? I can barely breathe. I thought Whitney had lost her mind and Dan had just kicked a puppy or something.
DC: Hey, come on! You deserved it. We Costners (looks at Whitney) have been putting up with that rascal for almost 60 years. Payback is sweet!
WH: I believe he was a troublemaker. You don’t have to tell me twice.
KC: That was good. That was bad. That was shocking. I need an explanation.
WH: (To Dan.) Do you want to?
DC: Sure. It’ll be a rare time I have the floor with you two in the room.
(Dan explains that he had seen Whitney twice. The day she arrived and the day on the boat. He was unsure it was her on the first sighting, but was convinced after seeing her on the boat.)
DC: It was a pretty good sized yacht, too. I thought, ‘man, who is on this?’ And there she was, in a black t-shirt and whit shorts. She had on a big hat and sunglasses, too, but I recognized the face the second time.
KC: Who’s yacht was it?
WH: A few people connected to the first lady. I went out earlier with a small group touring schools, clinics, and orphanages. I have a charitable trust that might do something to support them later. We’re talking about it. One of the women has a brother with a yacht, so a few of us took lunch out on the water. It was good.
DC: First I heard the singing, then I saw the lady, and the lady recognized me. So I motored over to introduce himself. She got onto his boat and they chatted nicely. So nicely that Dan suggested if Kevin and he pulled a meal together, they should do the prank. But only if Whitney was up for it.
WH: And since you signed my last paycheck 20 years ago, I said ‘Sure!’
KC: I can’t believe you both did this. Cooked this up behind my back. And here I am thinking I was going to have to intervene. But you’re in cahoots like old college friends.
WH: Dan helped me with my physics homework in college, as a matter of fact.
DC: Yeah, and Whitney gave me charm lessons.
(Dinner is pretty much wrapped up. So they all decide to go out for dessert. Whitney set it up, so it’s super private and all. They have a great time. Later, the car brings DC to the suite, and Kevin accompanies Whitney to her suite. They’re standing at her door.)
KC: I’ll never forgive you for this.
WH: The look on your face, Kevin! It more than offset the price I’ll have to pay. I warned you not to set up a dinner with me and your brother.
KC: Yeah, well now I know that you’ll go to incredible lengths to make a point. Now I know that when Whitney says ‘no,’ she means nada, no chance, forget it, don’t press on, turn back and drop it.
WH: That’s right.
KC: Well, this is it. You leave tomorrow and I won’t see your face again for a long time. These days I hate clocks and calendars. They taunt me. ‘You haven’t seen Whitney in X months, X weeks, X days and X hours.’ Man was greatly at fault for making calendars.
WH: (Puts her arms around his waist.) Yes, he was. Severely at fault.
KC: Can I come in?
WH: It will look suspicious. You wasted our time on tonight’s proceedings. Although I will say … Your brother inspired a newfound admiration in me for smart guys. I mean, you’re no slacker by any means at all. But a researcher? That sounds so distinguished. And he carried off the whole prank so well. I see Hollywood in his future.
KC: Don’t get any ideas. As you can see, he uses his powers for evil.

(They kiss goodnight. A looong kiss goodnight. KC bear hugs Whitney.)
WH: Kevin. It’s been two minutes. Let me go.
KC: Don’t ever say that again.