GobSmacked82

It’s now 1991, and Kevin Costner is about to finally convince Whitney to do The Bodyguard. Here is a “peek” into what they might have discussed.

Whitney’s phone rings. And rings.
WH: Hello!
KC: Hi, how are you, Whitney?
WH: Hi Kevin. (exhales a deep breath)
KC: What’s up?
WH: I’m just going over some letters, notes and stuff for my upcoming tour. I told you about that, right? For “I’m Your Baby Tonight?”
KC: You did, and I wanted to bring that up again.
WH: Oh?
KC: Yeah, since you’re doing that tour, it would totally conflict with the timeline for this whole project. It’s a direct conflict, no matter how we try to work it. I worked it all out. It’s … I mean, it’s a lot for the studio to accept, if I could be totally honest.
WH: I know that it is. You can be honest. Do you have anyone else lined up? Just wait a minute, before you answer that. (There is a light noise in the background. A door shutting or something.) OK. I’m in my office. Shoot.
KC: There is another person. It could go another way. If you say no.
WH: But I still can’t figure out why it should be me. There are so many other great singers out there, if you want a singer for the movie. I’m not the only one, you know.
KC: There are lots of fabulous singers. I just think you would work out the best. You’re the absolute best choice for the flick.
WH: But WHY? I still don’t get it. Me?
KC: Well, you said yourself, I forget if it was our 10th or 11th conversation, that you thought acting might be a natural progression for your career.
WH: But I mean being part of an ensemble film, or a supporting role? Like that. But the lead? In a huge film? With Kevin Costner?
KC: No to the first question, yes, yes and yes to all the others! You’re the right person because you have that look, that aura, that presence, everything you need.
WH: (Breathes long again.)
KC: I can tell you’re still unsure. But I need to know, once and for all.
WH: I … think … I think, I just don’t want to fall on my face. Kevin, you know how those vultures are in the press. Once word gets out that you’re doing this with me, they’ll be waiting to dog me out.
KC: I promise that I’ll be there with you every step of the way, and that you won’t fail.
WH: (Groans) The eeeaaarrly hours you told me about. You’re asking me to get up and look fabulous at dark-thirty a.m. Hair make-up and everything done at that un-Godly hour in the morn—
KC: (Laughs) You will be fine. They won’t have to do a lot of work on you. You’re making it sound like torture.
WH: I know. I’m sorry. But if, if, if I said yes. I would need a solid, iron-clad contract that says, “Whitney will not be showing her @ss at all. For nobody. Point, blank, period." I'm trying to be careful about what I pick and choose.
KC: Done. You won’t fail. You won’t look foolish. You won’t look like loose girl or anything. If you do this movie with me, I guarantee you that it will be something you'll be proud of.
WH: Yeah, that’s probably what they say until it’s time to take your shirt off. And then they gonna try to be like, ‘Show a little bra, Whitney!’
KC: Don’t be so up tight about it. I have total, complete faith in you.
WH: But we’re planning this tour. It’s a direct conflict, like you said.
KC: I told the studio that I want to wait. So we would delay filming for a year, until after you’ve wrapped up your tour.
WH: Hold up. Wait a minute! Y’all would wait a year for me?
KC: Yes, we would. I’m that sure of it.
WH: Oh, my God. That is a looong time!
KC: But there will have to be a screen test, and you’d have to impress them.
WH: Oh, Lord. I don’t know …
KC: But you wouldn’t have to worry about that. I definitely can tell that you can do this. You’ll be great.
WH: OK, so let me get this straight. No nude scenes, no tongue, you would wait a year for me, and I would have, like, coaching along the way?
KC: Absolutely. You wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. We’ll take really good care of you.
Whitney pauses for what seems like a very long minute. Kevin doesn’t interrupt. She hears him taking a sip of an icy drink from a glass.
WH: You’re really patient, you know that? You don’t trip. I mean, here’s this chick from New Jersey dragging out this process for like, let me check my watch, mdnade near two years and you’re like ‘so what do you say?’ Man, other guys would be like ‘forget you!’
KC: Yeah, well, I know how daunting this seems, and for all the reasons you said. There is a lot riding on this. I’m know I’m taking a chance here, but I think you’re tremendously talented. I can tell that you dig deep to find meaning in the songs that you sing. That’s kind of what performers do, you know? Your medium is singing. Mine is acting, but we’re both trying to tell stories.
WH: It is a romantic story, though. Kind of heartbreaking that he doesn’t get the girl. I mean, they had that one might, which might impress the guys. But the girls are not going to go for that ‘one-night only’ stuff. The girls are going to blow in their tissues at that last kiss. You watch. The tears will be flowing.
KC: If it’s done right, sure. That whole scene was about a man and a woman thanking each other before saying goodbye.
WH: What kind of life is Frank going to lead without Rachel anyway? Protecting slimy politicians and people fighting the mob? Poor thing.
KC: See? You’re catching on. (Pauses.) OK, I'm telling you, you've got to do this movie with me. And if you don't, well, I've decided that I'm just not gonna do it. Because I want you to play this part. You are the person for this part. OK? Whitney, I have to know. Are you going to do this movie with me or not?
WH: Alright. OK, yes. I’ll do this. The answer is yes. It will be elhl, and you might hear me running my mouth once or twice, but I’ll do it. I’ll make the movie. With God on my side, I’ll make it.
KC: Yeah? Yeeeaaahh! Finally! She said yes! (On Kevin’s line, there are sounds of clattering and drawers slamming.) She said yes. Let me get a tape recorder, I don’t believe this. A yes, an actual yes.
WH: What are you doing?
KC: I’m going to call your people and get a contract drafted, pronto. And I’m sending you a pair of handcuffs, as a joke, so you can’t get out of this.
WH: I thought you said I had to do a screen test first.
KC: You do. We’ll talk about that some more. But I want to get some language down on paper that you can review, argue about, change, sign, all that stuff.
WH: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk this fast. (Laughs)

Days later, Whitney gets two packages. One has instructions for an upcoming screen test, the other is a pair of handcuffs.

WH: Oh, Lord. He's a prankster, too. (Dials the phone. It rings and KC picks up.)
KC: Hello! Hi Whitney. What’s new?
WH: Well, hi Kevin. Beautiful day in New Jersey. The folks at Nippy Inc. are getting ready to negotiate the movie contract.
KC: No tongue, no nudity. Got it.
WH: And what are these? Handcuffs? What am I supposed to do with these?
KC: You’re bound and tied to this movie, Whitney. There is no escape. From now on, everywhere you go, you’ll be known for The Bodyguard. It will be right up there with the songs on your first album.
WH: Don’t start with Whitney with the jokes though, Kevin. I might be cute, but I’ve got jokes. I’ll get you back. Especially for dragging me out of bed at all unholy hours. I’m definitely going to put you under arrest for that.
KC: I look forward to it, Whitney.