GobSmacked82

Hi Ladies. We all wondered what a certain guy might have been thinking about a certain lady sitting on a black leather couch wearing a fur coat. My two cents.

KC: (Dials phone. Waits for the ring.)
WH: Talk to me.
KC: Whitney, Whitney, Whitney.
WH: Wassup, my blue-eyed brotha?
KC: What do you mean? How can you be so casual?
WH: Well, let me ask you a couple of questions. How can you be calling Brunei? How did you get my details? What do I PAY these people for?!
KC: You need to trust Kevin and stop wringing your hands like that. If you made ‘trust Kevin, just trust Kevin’ the motto of your life, I’d keep a smile on your face. Par-ti-cu-lar-ly in this picture. My, my, my.
WH: Which picture are you talking about?
KC: Just this black and brown piece of heaven that I saw in -----.
WH: (Pause) Oh that! For the ----. The photographer made me feel very much at ease. It was a classy shoot, all the way.
KC: (Puts on a high voice, imitating her.) Oh that! Whitney, I realize that you’ve been used to panting male attention for a long time. But when you sit on a black couch in a tiny black negligee, hot shoes and your fur coat is falling off, just TELLING for Kevin to jet to wherever you are and stroke those long, long legs —
WH: Now just wait a minute. Nobody said it was a private photo for Kevin.
KC: It might as well be. I’m looking at that picture right now, and all I can think about is … um … making you Mrs. Costner.
WH: Well, I’m already married. Call me Mrs. Whitney Houston Brown.
KC: Honey, don’t. Don’t pollute the air with those words. Just focus on being Mrs. Costner for the next … hold on … (a door slams and a door locks. Soft music goes on in the background.) OK. I have an hour.
WH: For what?!
KC: A little long-distance romance. You feel me?
WH: Eeew, Kevin. I can heeaarr that nasty grin. That low-down, dirty, ‘I hit it all afternoon’ with a satisfied smile, SMILE.
KC: I said ‘we DID IT all afternoon,’ not ‘I hit it all afternoon.’ You sure have a most peculiar way of remembering that interview. It says your mind is in the right place. Let’s go.
WH: No.
KC: What are you wearing?
WH: CLICK
A couple of days later, in Whitney’s suite in Singapore. Her cell phone rings.
WH: Hello, Kevin.
KC: Two days of cold showers and wholesome thinking. All because you cut me off. You left me hanging. What did I do?
WH: Nothing. Nothing wrong at all. (she sounds quieter)
KC: What’s up? What’s wrong?
WH: (sighs) Nothing, I just … you might read something in the papers about a certain R&B singer getting into a brawl at Disneyworld.
KC: You mean about a poor defenseless guy who got trashed at a family theme park and stomped the lehl out of a guy making a move for the same girl he wants. Then got arrested and peed in the back of a police car. And carved the word kufc in the back with a pen. **** happens.
WH: I am really not in the mood, Kevin. No jokes.
KC: I’m serious, too. No wonder you’re not smiling in that picture. That picture knocks me out every time, until I look in your eyes. Now I know why.
WH: (is very quiet) This is the second time you’ve tried to call me today. I recognized your number. It’s a relief, actually. A nice man calling me.
KC: Tell me what you need.
WH: I need a back rub. I have to go to hair and makeup in hour hours to take the stage tonight, and I’m really tense.
KC: I would rub your back for an hour, if you needed. As long as it took for you to feel relief.
WH: Even right here (reaches with her hand) really high between my shoulder blades?
KC: I would use warm mint oil right there. And I’d work it in circles with my thumbs. I’d take my time on that spot.
WH: Sounds divine. (pauses, shifting around) You know, you’re a lucky man, Mr. Costner.
KC: Why?
WH: When I checked into my suite, I found a black leather sofa. Didn’t even ask for it; it was there.
KC: That right?
WH: And I went shopping and found a pair of strappy black heels. Stilettos.
KC: Amazing.
WH: And just happened to find a black little sumthin’, and a fur coat. My old mink one was getting out of style anyway.
KC: (chuckles) Divas.
WH: That’s Mrs. Costner to you.
Jump to 90 minutes before hair and makeup, Whitney is curled up on her bed.
KC: I’m going to release you to hair and makeup. Shouldn’t take them long. You’re a natural beauty, Mrs. Costner.
WH: (laughs low, sounding slightly hoarse)
KC: (chuckles)
WH: What?
KC: My rascal smile, your sexy laugh.