GobSmacked82

Here you go K&WForever, and fellow shippers. I took a couple of liberties with Whitney's personality and habits here, but given KC's steady pronouncements over the years, I thought it would work. Enjoy.

KC: (picks up phone) Whitney, omigod. Is everything OK? Why are you calling me? It's usually the opposite. It's so early.
CH: Everything is fine. Settle down.
KC: It's Cissy right? Something happened. Don't tell me it's Bobbi Kristina. Dionne?
WH: Kevin, please settle down. I'm OK. Everyone is OK.
KC: Well, thank God. Well then, what's up?
WH: I'd like your company while I sit and read the morning paper. The USA Today has an interesting story about you.
KC: Oh yeah? I'll have to get a copy. That Karen is a smart girl.
WH: And resourceful. She quoted you saying something about me.
KC: I say a lot of things about a lot of people, Whit.
WH: Shaking the paper. It says here, among other things, about Whitney. "I love her. I'll always love her."
KC: (Scratching his head.) Yeah, well what's wrong with that?
WH: You keep breaking the pact. We have a no yapping pact. Have you forgotten or do you not care?
KC: Which is going to get me into less trouble?
WH: You're in it no matter what.
KC: Well, I go for renegotiating the pact. It's not too late.
WH: What you talking about? I'm married.
KC: If you wanna call it that, sure. I call it zoo keeping.
WH: What? What are you trying to say about Bobbi Kristina's father??
KC: That it shoulda been me. Case closed.
WH: Case ain't closed. I will—
KC: I wish you would stop threatening to beat me up and just do it. Just fly out to LA and confront me. Just throw me down and lay your hands on me, already. This is torture.
WH: Lord help me with this man. I just can't.
KC: Whitney what is the big deal? Everyone in L.A. says 'I love you. I love her. I love him.' It's that kind of place.
WH: OK, but all the other ladies got nice, respectable, professional comments. Renee Russo, with her gorgeous self, is your 'gal pal,' and on and on. I'm the only one you singled out like this. You are sending smoke signals, Kevin, and people will talk.
KC: What is the big deal about saying how I feel? I'm an honest, simple guy. A country gentleman. I loved that part. And when I love someone I say it.
WH: You are MARRYING someone else!! What planet do you live on?
KC: Look, I wouldn't be doing this if someone had stayed single like I asked her to—
WH: Just stop it, OK? Or else I'm finished with you. And this time I mean it.
KC: Not this time. What's the big damned deal saying what I feel?
WH: It's not proper. And it's hard on me. People are going to make me out to be a home wrecking, marrying white, dissing black men, all kinds of things. I can't take it.
KC: I wouldn't let those sthiheads say anything horrible about you.
WH: (silent)
KC: Your birthday is coming up. What would you like? Jewelry? Hot shoes? A divorce?
WH: I want you to please stop drawing uncomfortable attention to me.
KC: OK. But I'd like to give you something for your birthday.
WH: I want Bobbi Kristina to continue growing up beautiful, and peace of mind.
KC: Well, I'll surprise you. I wish you were sitting here next to me, on my tractor now. It's beautiful and quiet out here in Colorado in the morning. You would have all the peace you want. Right next to me, every morning.
WH: Kevin, dammit. I hate it when you do that. (sobbing) And I'm home. I can't wake up the house with my cryiiiing!!
KC: I'm always going to love you, Whitney. You're like a quiet, brilliant sunrise. As long as there are sunrises, I will love Whitney. Tell the tabloids I said to **** off.
WH: Ooooh (sobbing) I had to step outside. And it's hot as h*ll outside in Georgia. Kevin!
KC: Yeah, Whit?
WH: I love (hiccup) you (hiccup) too.
KC: YEEEAAAH!!