GobSmacked82

OK ladies,
I was going to lay low off the main thread for a minute. But then K&WForever reminded me of this. If you all wouldn't mind laying aside my natural skepticism of celebrity news, I give you:

Two Kisses


WH: (Picks up phone) Hello?
KC: Hey Whit. Did you see Good Morning America?
WH: I sure did. And I'm glad that you called so we could talk about it.
KC: Alright!
WH: What do you mean 'alright!' Stop the fist pump and listen to what I have to tell you. For once.
KC: Oh, here we go again. What did I do this time?
WH: Well Kevin. The thing is, your interview is already up on YouTube. Some of these bloggers move too fast for me! Anyway, People can see you giggle, light up, play with your ear, shimmie your shoulders, and all. And did you have to say "Man, that girl. she just has it?!"
KC: But you DO have it! You're never going to lose it. And when you're in Heaven—a long time from now, hopefully—you'll be the most beautiful angel there. You'll start a brawl in Heaven over who gets to sit next to you, I just know it.
WH: Oh, God. What am I going to do with you?
KC: Don't say 'do' and 'I' in the same sentence to me, Whit. That's usually when Christine starts spying on me.
WH: She knows that we talk?
KC: Yeah, she can tell. That's why we didn't really have much contact after the Ali dinner. It was 'Celebrity Fight Night' for real after those pictures came out.
WH: Whaaat? She got a good left hook, right? That's why we got to be cool. Let me ask you about the part where you said ... lemme replay it. "I kissed her once for everybody in America, and I kissed her once for myself." WTF, Kevin? You weren't supposed to TELL THE WORLD about that.
KC: It was totally necessary, for production purposes.
WH: Ugh, please. But I did my part. I lied to that British reporter when he asked me if you were a good kisser. For B---y's sake. I flipped it around to be about B---y. And because Cindy looks like she could scrap.
KC: Whitney you worry too much.
WH: I'm talking to Oprah soon! You know Oprah. If she smells smoke, she'll search out the fire.
KC: Whitney, settle down. Everybody is going to love it. Isn't it the most romantic thing anyone ever said? Admit it.
WH: Yeah ...
KC: And you know me. If you give me a camera, I'm gonna talk about Whitney. Them's the rules and 18 years won't change it. Anyway, let Oprah search. She's a smart girl. She probably already knows how I feel. In fact, the only person on this planet who doesn't know how I feel, and who SHOULD ACCEPT how I feel, is you. I bet Cissy knows. She's not stupid. She's certainly not the Queen of Denial, like her daughter.
WH: Hey, yo, this is not about me. You need to keep cool and not bring my name into scandal with a married man. If you keep talking like that, I will have to lay you out!
KC: Whitney, anytime you want to lay me out, just call.
WH: CLICK