GobSmacked82

Well, there is so much talk lately about KC's appearance at the Ali dinner, that I thought I'd have some quick fun with it. Enjoy.

WH: (Dials phone. Listens to the ring) Pick up, pick up, pick up.
KC: Whit!!
WH: Good morning, Kevin. I'm glad I got you this time.
KC: What's new my dear?
WH: You know what's new. This package came in the mail, a gorgeous red dress and shoes. I think I can guess where they came from, although the card was not signed.
KC: Yeah! Do you like the dress?
WH: Well, it's a great dress. I have no problems wearing red. The neckline is a little daring ...
KC: Nonsense! What are you talking about? You could pull anything off. You're going to look amazing, standing up there with Ali, making your remarks. And then the after party ...
WH: Just try to settle down and not be obvious. Last time we ran into each other someone, who shall remain nameless ...
KC: Oh, come on!
WH: Someone got all touchy feely in front of the cameras. So I had to drop a drug in the photographer's drink and delete all the pictures from his memory card.
KC: It was a peck on the cheek between old friends.
WH: Ya planted on one me! In the middle of an after party! Thank God the Pitts were cranking out ... what, kid #5, #6? I lose track. Well, thank God they were at the same party and everybody hounded them and ignored us. And Demi and Ashton. Oooh, thank the Lord for cougars and baby mamas. Age can be a good cover when you want to get away with something.
KC: Get away with what?!
WH: You know what! And I have a half a mind to wear a different dress in Scottsdale. To teach you a lesson.
KC: Oh for goodness sake, Whit. Take a compliment. Take a present. Just wear the dress, and I swear I'll be on my best behavior. People will think I'm your uncle, I'll be so well behaved. Promise.

April 6, 2008

WH: Hello?
KC: Whit! You picked up the phone. Alright; OK. I admit I made a tiny scene. But honestly I think you care too much about what people think.
WH: Kevin, I really don't believe you sometimes. I TOLD you to be cool. Stepping over three waiters and two tables to get to me was not cool. We'll be all over the gossip shows in a minute. And those shyitt blogs too!!
KC: Oh Lord. Here we go. Can't you just accept that you looked a-maazing? And that's saying something, because Halle Berry was there and she didn't outshine you. Come on!
WH: What about the arm around the waist, Kev? People were looking.
KC: They're jealous! How many women your age look like they're still 20? And any guy with a man's brain wishes he were me with his arm around you.
WH: I do not look like I'm still 20, and you know it.
KC: OK, 25. I'm not letting you off the hook. You can't deny a man the pleasure of serenading the prettiest lady in the room. In the red dress that he bought her! Yeah! That's what movies and songs are all about, Whit.
WH: Listen to me, Kevin. People. Are going. To talk.
KC: They. Are haters. Forget them.
WH: You're so hard-headed! Do i have to whup your @ss? You better watch it. You're messing with a heavy weight from Newark.
KC: I'm from Compton! Bring it on.
WH: Oh Lord. I don't know why I keep giving you chances.
KC: Real love never dies, Whit. Even if you do put me in the friend box.