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Old 01-18-2012, 09:01 PM
  #97
ennaxor
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Another episode on the 100th (which all but gives away the twist) - The Big Bang Theory's 100th Episode: Will Leonard and Penny Get Back Together? - TV Guide

And the new taping report for The Friendship Contraction! As always, please credit me if you share this info anywhere else.

SCENE 1

Leonard’s asleep in his bed. Sheldon walks in, wearing a hard hat and orange safety vest, holding another hat and vest, and pulls out his phone to set off an alarm to wake Leonard up. Leonard asks what the hell? Sheldon says it’s the Emergency Preparedness Test. Leonard rolls over away from Sheldon. Sheldon says that Leonard knows the drill, once a quarter, to keep their readiness up, “out of bed sleepy head, half the town is probably dead.” On the first take, Leonard said “the lucky half.” On the second take, his mumbled “stupid emergency preparedness test.” Third and following takes, “I really need to get a lock for my door.”

Sheldon turns on the lights and says that he’s made this fun for Leonard, he has prepared cards with different apocalyptic situations, everything from forest fires to a surprise invasion from Canada. Leonard says that Canada isn’t going to invade California. Sheldon asks who’s going to stop them, the hippies in Washington and Oregon? Then he tells Leonard to pick a disaster, any disaster.

Leonard points at a card. Sheldon reads from it - an 8.2 earthquake has hit Pasadena, reducing edifices to rubble, the streets are filled with flowing blood and the echoing cries of the injured. Sheldon tells Leonard to put on his helmet and safety vest. Leonard sits and puts on the helmet, and says great, he gets to spend another night standing in front of the apartment building looking like one of the Village People. On the first takes, Sheldon said good, gallows humor, they’ll need that to keep their spirits up. Then it changed to Sheldon saying that Leonard says the same joke every three months, and he still doesn’t understand it.

Leonard stands and moves towards the door, but Sheldon stops him and asks what he’s doing. Leonard says “I don’t know, what am I doing?” Sheldon says to look around, there is hypothetical glass all around. Leonard sits and puts on his slippers. Sheldon asks, really, you’re going to face the apocalypse without orthotics? Leonard stands again and walks towards the door, and Sheldon grabs his shoulders behind and shakes him, yelling “aftershock!”, then pushes him out into the hallway. After a beat, he says, “and that’s why we wear the safety helmets.”

SCENE 2

Leonard, Raj, and Howard are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. Howard hands over his phone to Raj to show him a press release from NASA. Raj reads off of it, announcing the upcoming spring mission, and it names a couple other astronauts, both with nicknames, and then Howard Wolowitz. Raj tells Howard he needs a cool astronaut nickname. Howard says you can’t pick your nickname, the other guys have to give it to you.

Raj says that his nickname would be Brown Thunder (…I think. Something along those lines.) Howard says, aren’t you listening? You can’t give yourself a nickname. Raj says, “look at me, I am Brown Thunder.”

Then Raj asks Leonard why he’s putting 6 sugar packets into his coffee. Leonard says because the cafeteria doesn’t carry little packets of methamphetamine. Raj asks, Emergency Preparedness Test? Howard asks Leonard how he did. Sheldon walks up with his iPad and says he can tell them exactly how Leonard did. Readiness? Unsatisfactory. Ability to follow orders? Barely. Attitude? A little too much. Overall, likely to die in a fire, but if he did survive, his whining would ruin anyone’s day.

Leonard says he’s too tired to think, he’s going home to take a nap. Sheldon tells Leonard he can’t, he has to drive him to the dentist after work. Leonard asks can’t Sheldon take a bus there? Sheldon says he could, but it’s coming home on the bus after taking anesthetics that’s a problem - he tells Howard and Raj that two years ago after a deep gum cleaning, he thought he was getting on a bus, but ended up on a booze cruise to Mexico. Raj asks, they put you under for a cleaning? Sheldon says they have to, he’s a biter.

Leonard stands and says he’s still going home. Sheldon says that Leonard has to drive him, it’s in the roommate agreement. He pulls it up on his iPad and shows him, it’s right in the miscellaneous section between something I forgot and confirmatory sniff of questionable dairy products. (After the second take, they cut the first item anyway, and Sheldon just said it’s after the sniff one.)

Leonard says he’s tired of the roommate agreement - he’s Sheldon’s roommate, not chauffer. And he had better things to do yesterday than drive Sheldon to the good model train store in Garden Grove because the one in Pasadena has gotten too big for it’s britches. Sheldon says it has, has anyone. Leonard says he doesn’t care, and walks to leave, saying he wants to forget about the whole agreement.

Sheldon stands to stop him, and asks if this means Leonard wants to activate clause 201. Leonard says if it will let him take a nap, yes. Sheldon says that it will strip their agreement down to the bare essentials - their only obligations to each other will be rent, utilities, and a head jut of acknowledgement when they meet in the hallways, “Sup.” Leonard asks where he signs. Sheldon shows him where on the screen, and says to use his finger.

So Leonard signs it, and Sheldon says that they’re no longer friends, just acquaintances, and to modify the words from Toy Story, “You don’t have a friend in me.” Leonard says he’s going to take a nap. Sheldon says tell that to someone who cares.

After the first take, Kunal offered Jim a fist bump (cute!).

SCENE 3

Everyone except for Sheldon’s eating at the guy’s apartment. Howard says he’s got exciting news, he’s flying to Houston soon for basic training and to practice waste elimination in zero gravity. Penny asks what that is. (On the first take Kaley was surprised that the audience laughed at Howard’s opening line, and that threw her off.) Bernadette says it’s pooping in space. Raj says that maybe Howard’s nickname should be Brown Thunder.

Sheldon enters and says hello friends, and Dr. Hofstadter. Leonard nods and says “sup.” Sheldon returns the acknowledgement, then says sorry he’s late, but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on. Amy says she saved him a dumpling. Sheldon says he appreciates the thoughtfulness, and that will serve her well tomorrow when she takes him to the dentist.

Amy says she can’t, she’s in the middle of the addiction study with a bunch of alcoholic monkeys, and tomorrow’s the day they switch them to something else. Sheldon’s disappointed his girlfriend isn’t tending to his every need, “Where’s the magic gone?” Penny says that’s not what girlfriends do… unless you’re rich. Then her line was changed to “That’s not what girlfriends are for… but you don’t use them for what they are for, either.” Bernadette says Howard doesn’t make her take him to the dentist, or shopping, or get his dry cleaning. Howard says no, that’s what his mom’s for. Then his line changed to no, but when his mom’s hips give out, “you’re up kid!”

Sheldon says that Amy’s unavailability gives the rest of them an opportunity to help make his life easier, and perhaps earn a footnote in his future biography, tentatively titled “The View from Up Here.” On the second take, the title was changed to “You’re Welcome, Humanity.”

Sheldon says he’ll go through his list of things to do, and they can shout out to claim what they want to help him with. He starts with dentist. No one speaks up, and Sheldon says that’s okay, they’ll circle back to that one. Next, he needs new soles in his dress shoes. Still silence. Sheldon’s surprised, that one had hoot written all over it. Allergist. Dermatologist. Podiatrist. Super Cuts. No response to any of them.

Then Sheldon says this one’s fun, he needs a new picture frame, and has a craving for Swedish meatballs, who wants to spend the day with him at Ikea? Raj says quietly to Howard that they do have good meatballs. Sheldon asks quickly, what was that? Raj says nothing, nothing.

SCENE 4

Sheldon enters the comic book store and says hi to Stuart. Stuart asks if there’s anything he can help Sheldon find. Sheldon says no, he was just sitting at home, and thinking of how much he’d like to catch up with his ninth favorite person. Stuart asks, ninth favorite? Sheldon tells him he moved up a spot, his penpal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.

Sheldon asks Stuart how he is, and Stuart says he’d go with clinically depressed. On the second take, it was changed to Stuart saying his therapist just killed himself, and mentioned him in the note. Sheldon says great, great, then asks how Stuart’s mother is, is she alive? Yes. He asks about his dad, alive? Yes. Same question about grandparents. No. Sheldon says he’s sorry for Stuart’s loss, but on a cheerier note, Stuart can drive him to get his teeth cleaned that afternoon.

Stuart asks, you want me to drive you to the dentist? Sheldon says he can’t make promises, but this sort of thing might help someone move up to the number 8 spot. Stuart says he has to run his store, and also, and he can’t stress this enough, he doesn’t want to. Sheldon says it’s a good thing his grandparents are dead so they can’t see how selfish Stuart has become. On the second take, instead Sheldon says that he sees where he therapist was coming from.

SCENE 5

Leonard, Raj, and Howard and the guys’ apartment. Raj says that Howard’s nickname should be Buzz - Howard “Buzz” Wolowitz. Howard says he can’t be Buzz, Buzz is taken. Raj says that Buzz Lightyear isn’t real. Howard says he’s not talking about that. Raj asks if he means when Buzz thought he was real. Howard says no.

Then Raj suggests Crash. Howard says the other astronauts won’t want to go hurtling through space with a guy called Crash. Next Raj suggests Rocketman. Leonard says that’s not bad, Howard “Rocketman” Wolowitz. Howard says sure, but he still can’t pick his nickname. Raj says maybe he could do something to put the idea in their heads.

Leonard says as a kid he carried around a Duncan yo-yo hoping the other kids could start calling him Duncan. Howard asks if it worked. Leonard says no, they started calling him Sock mouth - they took his yo-yo and stuffed their socks in his mouth. Raj suggests that Howard change his ring tone to Rocketman. Then Raj will call him the next time Howard’s with the other astronauts, and they’ll hear it. Howard says that’s not a bad idea.

Sheldon enters, he and Leonard do their “sup” acknowledgement (though they didn’t on the first take), and then Leonard asks if Sheldon ever made it to the dentist. Sheldon says no, but he found a van that will come to their apartment and clean his teeth. Normally they just take care of dogs, but the guy on the phone was pretty open minded. Leonard stands and says that he’ll drive Sheldon to the dentist.

Sheldon asks if this means that Leonard is willing to admit his mistakes, and wants to reestablish the mutual benefits of the full roommate agreement. Leonard says sure, if Sheldon will admit that he’s a 30-year-old man who can’t survive on his own. Raj says to Howard, “Sockmouth’s putting him on the ropes.” Sheldon refuses, and says he’s going to call his dentist and see if he can get his nails trimmed and hair shampooed.

SCENE 6

Leonard’s watching TV in the apartment when the power goes out. He stands to look out the window, and Penny walks in and says oh good, the power’s out over here too. Leonard asks why that’s good. Penny says last month she sent the power company a $25 Starbucks gift card, apology note, and pictures of her in her bra.

Sheldon walks in with the alarm on his phone, and states that it’s a power outage and he’s initiating the protocols. He pulls equipment from the closet, and says it’s too bad that Leonard’s no longer his friend, because Sheldon is fully prepared. Sheldon straps a light onto his head, and tells Leonard to try to not see anything using that light, it’s not for him.

Leonard says that it’s just a power outage, he’s sure the lights will be back on soon. Sheldon says there was probably a guy in the Donner party that was sure the snow would stop soon - he hopes they ate him first. Penny says she’s got candles in her apartment. Sheldon says they’re not safe, they could start a fire. The city of Pasadena recommends glow sticks - Sheldon opens one and holds up up. Leonard pulls his light saber from the closet, and asks, “you call that a glow stick? This is a glow stick.” Then tells Penny, come on, let’s go.

Sheldon tells Leonard, before he leaves, he should know that Sheldon has a Marine battery that is more than enough to power their entertainment system, all 61 episodes of Red Dwarf, and a box of Fiddle Faddle. Penny tells Leonard she’s got wine at her place, and she’s not Sheldon. On the second take, it was changed to she’s got wine, and bubble wrap they can pop. Leonard leaves with Penny. Sheldon watches them go, and says, “He’ll be back. Wine and a girl in the dark, he’ll be bored out of his mind.”

On the third take of the scene, Kaley said the bubble wrap line so it almost sounded suggestive - “some bubble wrap we can pop.” I thought they told her to say it differently. But when they finished the scene, the director said to go back to Kaley’s exit line. Kaley started laughing, saying “surprise surprise,” and something about how “it got sexual.” (So they did it again, and she just said it normally.)

SCENE 7

Leonard and Penny sitting on her couch, the light saber lit on the table, candles around the apartment. They each have a glass of wine, and she’s also holding bubble wrap. Leonard holds up his glass, and says “To wine and bubble wrap.” Penny pops some of the bubbles. Leonard adds, and not watching Sheldon use his reverse osmosis machine to make water out of urine. Penny says that Tammy in Girl Scouts said you could do that with panty hose… she was wrong about that.

Then Penny asks Leonard if he wants to make out. Leonard says he thought with the beta test they were taking things slow. Penny asks, wanna make out slow? Leonard says he’ll go so slow he’ll be like a snail in her mouth. Penny makes a face, and Leonard asks, “I blew that, didn’t I?” Penny says that lucky for him there’s nothing else to do right now.

They start kissing, but Sheldon opens the door and walks in. Leonard asks why didn’t he knock, he always knocks, that’s the one good thing about him. Sheldon says that it’s a power outage, the city has descended into chaos… and he goes on a little about that. But really he came over to let Leonard know that he’s making smores, so if he smells caramelized marshmallows, he won’t worry that a nearby candy factory is on fire.

Leonard says good for you. Sheldon says, or good for us, if you agree to go back to the old terms of their agreement. Leonard says no. Sheldon says fine, he’ll go have a smore by himself. And then have another smore. By himself.

He leaves, and Penny says “awww.” Leonard says no, don’t aww him. Penny says that he’s sad! Leonard says he’s not sad, he’s crazy, and sometimes crazy looks like sad so it can lure you back in. (On one take Johnny flubbed the line, then took a moment to look down and get the line straight in his head before they did it again. It was pretty quiet, but then after a bit Kaley started popping some of the bubble wrap near him, and Johnny waved his arms at her to make her stop.) Penny says she thinks Sheldon misses his little buddy. Leonard stands and says fine, but tells her as he leaves that their frustrating high school makeout session is not over yet.

SCENE 8

Back in their apartment, Sheldon is toasting a marshmallow over a Bunsen burner. Leonard says he thought Sheldon said candles were dangerous. Sheldon says this is a Bunsen burner, and he’s a scientist, he knows what he’s doing. His marshmallow catches on fire, he tries to blow it out, fails, then sticks it in his glass of water. Sheldon’s disappointed, it took him a whole galleon of urine to get that water.

Leonard says that he’ll go back to driving Sheldon, but he’s doing it as a friend, not because the agreement says he has to, but it’d be nice to have some appreciation. Sheldon asks how. Leonard says a thank you. Sheldon asks, every time? Leonard says it’s not crazy. Sheldon offers a counter proposal - they’ll go back to their old routine, and in the vein of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, they’ll celebrate Leonard’s Day once a year. Leonard says he likes the sound of that. Sheldon says of course he does, it’s all about him, like everything else.

Leonard asks if he gets breakfast in bed on Leonard’s Day? No. Can he sit in Sheldon’s spot? No. Can he control the thermostat? No. Does he get a card? Sheldon says of course, it’s Leonard’s Day.

At some point in there the power came back on. Penny walks in and says that she just talked to the building manager, and it turns out the power only went out because someone pulled the main switched down in the basement. Leonard turns to Sheldon and asks who he things would do something like that. Sheldon says (very unconvincingly) that he doesn’t know, but Leonard should thank the mysterious man, because without him you wouldn’t have Leonard’s Day. Penny asks, Leonard’s Day? Sheldon tells her to just get him a cheap card, no pressure.

SCENE 9

Howard and Raj in Howard’s bedroom. Howard tests his new ringtone, and Rocketman plays. Howard says that really is a great song. Mrs. Wolowitz yells something, I think about Howard’s breakfast (the scene was just done once, so I don’t remember what), and Howard yells that he’s about to have the video conference with NASA.

The video call comes through on his laptop, and it’s from Mike Massimino (a real astronaut playing himself). Mike tells Howard that the guys call him Mass, and Howard says cool, cause force is equal to mass times gravity. Mike says it’s just short for Massimino.

Raj, sitting out of view from the computer, calls Howard, so the ringtone goes off. Mike comments on the song, and Howard says it’s his favorite song. Then Mrs. Wolowitz yells that Howard’s Fruit Loops are getting soggy. Howard apologizes and explains it’s his mom. Mike says no problem, Fruit Loops. Howard asks, Fruit Loops, what about Rocketman? Mike asks, what about it, Fruit Loops? Meanwhile Raj is just laughing off to the side.
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