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Old 09-21-2011, 02:09 AM
  #49
ennaxor
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Same as always - please credit me if you share this information anywhere else! (And hi to Alexandra - it was nice to meet you!)

The Russian Rocket Reaction

SCENE 1

Leonard and Sheldon are in the comic book store, leaning over and examining a sword on display. Leonard asks Sheldon what he thinks, and says it’s from Game of Thrones. Sheldon says that if they’re going to start a fantasy sword collection, which he’s thought many times that they should, he’s not sure if this is the right one to start with. Leonard asks what he had in mind. Sheldon says, well off the top of his head, Excalibur - you can rule England with it. Leonard tells him it’ll be a replica sword from a movie. Sheldon says then they can rule a replica England.

Leonard says well they don’t have an Excalibur there. Sheldon asks, what about Lord of the Ring knock-off weapons / Lord of the Rings weapons that were forged in a sweatshop in China (different lines on different takes). (When they changed the line, they had Jim do it a couple times, and then Jim said something like, “I don’t know how to make it funnier, or whatever,” but the audience was laughing each time anyway.) Leonard points out that there is a Bilbo Baggins sword. Sheldon says, “Two grown men with a hobbit’s dagger? How silly would we look.” Leonard asks Sheldon what he wants to go, and Sheldon decides they should get the sword.

Stuart walks up, and says it looks like they’ve found his new treasure. Leonard says, casually, yeah, it’s alright. Sheldon says, no, it’s magnificent, and Leonard turns and makes this “bababa” noise to shush him. Then Leonard turns back to Stuart, and asks how much he’s asking for it. Stuart says it’s hard to put a price on a replica of something that was seen on pay cable television, but for them, $250.

Leonard says that’s kind of steep, and asks if he could go any lower. Stuart tells them it’s limited edition - they only made 8,000 of them. Sheldon repeats, only 8,000, and then tells Leonard they’re wasting time, and to buy it. Leonard shushes him again, and asks Stuart if he could go any lower. Stuart says they’re already getting the friends and family discount. Sheldon says to Leonard, “you hear that, friends and family discount!”, and tells Stuart they’re honored and they’ll take it. But Leonard asks for $200.

Sheldon asks him what he’s doing, and says that it’s already discounted. Stuart offers $235. Leonard shrugs, and says never mind, maybe another time. Stuart drops to $225. Leonard repeats $200. Stuart says he’s going to be losing money, and Sheldon says they don’t want that, and tells Leonard to buy it, but Leonard stays firm. Stuart says he’s killing him, and Sheldon says, “Killing you? I can’t breathe over here.”

Stuart says he’ll go to $210. Leonard says okay to $210, plus he wants Stuart to throw in the Ironman helmet. Stuart tells him that’s signed by Robert Downey Jr. Leonard asks, so? Stuart says that if Leonard is questioning the value of an actor’s autograph on a plastic helmet from a movie that was based on a comic book, then none of their lives have any meaning. Leonard nods a little, agreeing, and says fine, $210 for just the sword.

Stuart says great, he can eat meat this week, and goes over to the counter. Leonard tells Sheldon, “see, I just saved us 40 bucks.” Sheldon says that he’s always said that what Leonard lacks in academic intelligence, he makes up in street smarts. Stuart asks them if they’ll want the sword wrapped, and Leonard says no, he’s going to stab his friend with it.

Wil Wheaton walks into the store, and greets Stuart at the counter. Sheldon picks up the sword, and turns to face Wheaton with it. Wheaton tells Sheldon hello, and “nice sword.” Sheldon says it’s part of his sword collection, and asks Wheaton if he has a sword collection. Wheaton doesn’t. Sheldon says he didn’t think so.

Stuart has some special comic book that Wheaton wanted. Wheaton asks how much, and Stuart says $40, and Wheaton says that’s a great price and pays him. Sheldon mutters that Wheaton didn’t even ask for the friends and family discount. Wheaton tells Stuart that he’s having a party that weekend, and Stuart should stop by. Stuart asks if there will be girls there. Wheaton says sure. Stuart says that there weren’t at the last one. Wheaton says there will be, then tells Leonard and Sheldon they’re both welcome to drop by if they want. Leonard says thanks, and Wheaton leaves.

Sheldon says to Leonard, I see what you’re doing - you accept a party invitation from my mortal enemy, so he’ll tell everyone we’re going, and when we don’t show up he looks like a fool, then congratulates him on the plan. Leonard says no, he was actually thinking of going. Sheldon says oh, then Leonard was going to go, and then halfway through storm out and say it was horrible, thus humiliating Wheaton. Leonard says no, he was thinking of grabbing Raj and Howard and having a good time. Stuart says great, more guys, then mutters under his breath that it’ll be another one of Wheaton’s sausage fests. On the first take there was a ton of laughter from the first part of Stuart’s line, and then he tried to continue when people were still laughing, but Johnny stopped him. Then they did it again, and on the second take shortly after Stuart finished, Johnny started laughing and had this huge grin on his face.

SCENE 2

(This scene was just done once.) Everyone (including the girls) are eating at Leonard and Sheldon’s, except for Howard. Sheldon’s getting a drink from the fridge, and Leonard asks if Sheldon could get him a water. Sheldon says maybe he can, maybe he can’t. Leonard asks what that’s supposed to mean. Sheldon says that until Leonard decides to go or not go to the party, their relationship exists in two states - as friends, and not as friends. Coming back to the couch, Sheldon says that he calls it Schrodinger’s Friendship.

Somehow someone mentions “Schrodinger’s Cat,” which Penny says she remembers what that is, and says that it’s when the cat is in the box and is either alive, dead, or both. Then she says that once a cat got stuck in her brother’s… trailer box, maybe? Wherever it was, she says they didn’t need to open it to know it was dead. Amy says to Penny, science knowledge, home spun tales, and a bosom that defies, you really are the whole package. Leonard asks Sheldon if he can have the water or not. Sheldon says sure, and sets it on the table in front of Leonard, then knocks it over and tells Leonard to go get it.

Howard comes in, and has exciting news - his team’s telescope was chosen to go up on the international space station. Everyone congratulates him, and he says there’s more - one team member needed to go up with it, and he was chosen! Someone asks how he’d get into space, since NASA doesn’t have the space shuttles anymore. Howard says he’ll fly to some city in Russia, then fly to another city, and there you take one of the rockets into low level orbit; that or you stay on the tarmac, since someone sold the fuel.

Bernadette asks if the rockets are safe, but I can’t remember what Howard’s reply was. Leonard proposes a toast to Howard, and says something about how it’s all of their dreams to go into space, and Howard’s actually going to accomplish it… And after the toast, Sheldon tells Leonard, nicely, that that was touching. Then he changes tone, and says it was also filled with clichés.

I think it was as they were getting ready to do the scene the first time, Kunal was dancing a little bit to the music that was playing for the audience. Then Johnny got into it a bit too, and then they were dancing together, with Kunal standing right in front of Johnny, with his back to him.

Then later, between takes, Kaley was still sitting on the couch, and Johnny went over and was leaning over her at first, then joined her on the couch. And they were sitting really close, and just talking.

SCENE 3

Howard and Bernadette are driving (reenacted for us once). Howard comments I on how Bernadette’s quiet, and maybe asks if she’s tired? But basically he’s hoping for sex when they get home, and says “all my systems are go, if you know what I mean.” He realizes that something is bothering her, though, and asks what it is, and she doesn’t like that he made the decision about going into space without talking to her about it first.

She says they’re supposed to be a team, and decide things together. Howard says he’s sorry, he should have talked it over with her, and asks if they can start over. So he tells her again about how his team was chosen, and then he was chosen to go up with it, and asks her what she thinks. Bernadette says first, she’d like to thank him for including her in the decision making process. But no, he can’t go. Howard asks why not, and Bernadette tells him that when she was little, her dad was a police officer, and they worried about him every night, wondering if he was coming home, and she didn’t want to do that again. Howard starts to tell her about how when he was 11, his dad walked out on them, and they never saw him again, but Bernadette cuts in with something like “Boohoo, you’re not going to space.”

SCENE 4

Back to the guys’ apartment. The others are still there, cleaning up. Leonard says to Sheldon something about how that’s exciting for Howard, and Sheldon says yes, it is, then changes tone again and tells Leonard not to talk to him like nothing’s wrong. Leonard asks if Sheldon can just stop with the Schrodinger’s Friendship thing. Sheldon says he can go with a simplified Heisenberg uncertainty principle instead, he can know where Leonard, or whether he’s his friend, but not both at the same time.

Amy asks Penny and Raj why it’s such a big deal whether or not Leonard goes to Wheaton’s party. Penny tells Amy that Wheaton is Sheldon’s mortal enemy. Amy asks, mortal enemy? Then goes over to talk to Sheldon, and says… I can’t remember the phrase she used, but something referring to Sheldon’s weirdness, and then asks if he really has a mortal enemy. Sheldon says yes, he actually has 61, and asks if she’d like to see the list.

Penny says, “say no, say no, say no.” On the first take, Sheldon told Penny, “that’s how people make the list.” Then it was changed to, “You just got off the list, do you want back on it?” Sheldon goes to his desk, and says it might take a minute, he has the list on a 4 1/4” floppy disc. Amy asks, a floppy disc? Sheldon says he started the list when he was 9. Amy asks how Wheaton got on the list, and Leonard, Raj, and Penny all groan. Sheldon tells her how he rode the bus for hours to see him, but Wheaton didn’t show, because apparently it was cooler to be the bottom left corner on Hollywood Squares.

Turns out the floppy won’t open. Sheldon takes it out, and says that whoever was in charge of quality control in 1989 at that company that made the floppy is now on his list.

SCENE 5

Howard and Bernadette are in his bed. She says his name, and he asks if she changed her mind about sex; he’s still angry, but he’ll do it. She says no, she was just thinking, and she doesn’t want to be the one to stand in the way of his dreams. She says if he really wants to go into space, she won’t say another word about it. He sits up and asks, really? She says yes, so they kiss, and then he asks if they can have sex now. She says yes, but she forgot to brush her teeth, so she’ll be right back.

She leaves, and Howard dims the lights, turns on the light sabers above his bed, turns on some music. He gets out of bed, does a couple quick stretches, then gets back in. Then you hear Mrs. Wolowitz yelling something like, “Over my dead body he’s going into space!” Bernadette comes back in, smiling, and says she’s ready.

SCENE 6

The guys at the university cafeteria. Leonard’s saying, let me make sure I have this right, you asked Bernadette to leave in the middle of the night? Howard says what choice did he have, she went behind his back and turned his mother against him. Raj says that not only is Howard the first one of them to go into space, but he’s also the first to kick a woman out of bed, and says he’s like a rock star. Howard says yeah, a little bit.

Leonard says he hates to say it, but Bernadette did kind of betray him. Sheldon says interesting, Leonard can see the betrayal in others, but not in himself. Leonard says he’s not betraying Sheldon by going to Wheaton’s party. Sheldon says of course he’d think that, the evil always think they’re doing the right thing. Then Sheldon said something about telling the Nazis that Anne Frank is upstairs. Leonard says that he’s not turning in a little Jewish girl to the Nazis. On the second take, Sheldon’s line was changed to, “Stormtrooper, these are the droids you’re looking for.” And Leonard said that he’s not turning in R2D2 and C3PO. After both versions, Sheldon said “Not yet.”

Raj asks Howard what he and Bernadette are going to do, and asks if they’ll break up. Howard says he hopes not, but Bernadette will have to apologize, and accept that he’s a grown man that can make his own decisions. Raj says then she’ll have to convince his mother of the same thing.

SCENE 7

The three girls in Penny’s apartment, drinking wine. Bernadette’s saying she didn’t have a choice, she had to tell his mother, he’s helpless like a baby monkey. She says once he got an asthma attack from reading an old library book. Amy asks, really? Penny says yup, she was there; Sheldon threw out his back handing the book to Howard.

Then Bernadette talked again… I think she might have said how she didn’t want to break up over this. Penny said she could just apologize to Howard. Bernadette asks if what she did was wrong, and is surprised to realize she might be the bad guy in the situation. Amy says they’re not there to judge, they’re just there to support her as she realizes what an awful thing she’s done. Bernadette decides she does need to apologize. Penny says that’s great, but first, she has a big picture question for Bernadette - “Are you 100% sure you love and want to marry Howard Wolowitz?” (On one take Kaley stopped after “Howard,” then after a pause remembered to add his last name, but that just ended up with them all laughing.) Bernadette says yes, with all her heart. Penny says good, just checking. Then after a pause, Amy awkwardly adds, “He’s great!”

SCENE 8

Guys’ apartment, Leonard and Raj are getting ready to leave got Wheaton’s party, and Leonard tells Sheldon this is his last chance to go. Sheldon says, no, this is Leonard’s last chance. He says one day a historian will ask Leonard, you used to be friends with Dr. Sheldon Cooper? And Leonard will have to say yes, they were friends until he decided to go to a party held by the kid no one remembers from Stand By Me. Leonard just asks Raj if he wants to drive, and they leave.

A couple seconds later, they come back in, and Sheldon stands and says oh good, you picked me! Leonard says no, but he just got a text from Stuart, and Brent Spiner is at the party. Sheldon gets excited for a moment, then says he doesn’t care. Leonard says it’s Data, and says Sheldon loves him. Sheldon says he did, but now he’s outgrown Star Trek, with their stock characters, ludicrous storylines, beam me up, it’s all a bunch of hooey. Leonard tells him to live long and prosper, complete with the hand sign, and Sheldon says, “That too, you look like a dork,” and Leonard and Raj leave again.

SCENE 9

Howard’s sitting on his bed, looking at a model rocket. His mom yells that Bernadette’s there to see him. Howard yells to tell her he’s not home. Mrs. Wolowitz asks what kind of a move is that, she can hear him yelling! Bernadette comes in, and asks if they can talk. Howard says she can talk, but he has nothing to say.

Bernadette apologizes for telling his mother. He says he was going to tell her eventually, but Bernadette went behind his back to do it. She says she only did it because she was worried about him. Howard says that if she’s going to love him, she has to love all of him, the tender lover/poet, and the crazy daredevil. Bernadette says she knows. He tells her not to say it unless she means it, because he doesn’t want to stop at the space station, he also wants to go to the moon, and mars, and take a one man submarine to the deepest parts of the ocean.

Bernadette asks, really? Because you got sea sick on Pirates of the Caribbean. Howard says that the big kids were rocking the boat. Bernadette says she just couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. He asks, really? She says yes, he’s her soul mate. He smiles and looks down at the rocket, and she says this is where he kisses her. So they kiss, and then Mrs. Wolowitz yells that no matter how much making up they do, Howard’s tukus isn’t leaving earth.

SCENE 10

At Wheaton’s party… Just have to say first, Wheaton has a huge framed painting of him as Wesley Crusher hanging on the wall. And in the background, Captain Sweatpants is talking to the guy that I’m 99% sure was Zarnecki from last season.

Anyways. Raj comes up to Leonard, and says, remember that beautiful actress who was (something) in (some movie)? Leonard says sure. Raj says he just met her gynecologist. Sheldon walks in, and Leonard asks him what he’s doing there. Sheldon says that as peculiar and annoying as Leonard is, “you’re still by little buddy,” and he’s not going to let that change tonight. So Sheldon tells Leonard to put down his drink, they’ll find Brent Spiner, and then they’ll leave.

Wheaton comes up, and says he’s glad Sheldon came, he has something he thinks he’ll like. He walks away for a moment, and Sheldon says, “What I’d like is for him to have a more depressing home. This place is lovely.” Wheaton comes back and hands something to Sheldon, and Sheldon says it’s an original, mint, unopened Wesley Crusher action figure. Wheaton says he remembered Sheldon’s story, and says to read what he wrote on it. It says something like, “Sorry this took so long. From your friend, Wil Wheaton.” Wheaton says he only had one left, and he wanted Sheldon to have it. Sheldon looks from him to the action figure, then announces to the room “Wil Wheaton is my friend!” and hugs him.

While he’s hugging him, Brent Spiner walks up behind Wheaton, sees the action figure and takes it, saying he hasn’t seen one of those in years. He then rips it open, and asks Wheaton if he remembers how they used to make them look like they were masturbating. Sheldon asks Brent what he’s doing, and tells him that was an original, unopened Wesley Crusher action figure “signed by my close and personal friend Wil Wheaton.” Brent says he has some Data dolls in his trunk, and asks Sheldon if he’d like him to sign one of those for him. Sheldon says “you’ve already signed something - my list,” and tells him he’s now his mortal enemy. Wheaton tells Brent, don’t worry, it doesn’t take up a lot of your time.

Sheldon tells Wheaton something like, let’s not waste any more time on this loser, and puts his arm around Wheaton’s shoulders and leads him away, adding that he loves his home. Leonard and Raj step forward towards Brent, and Leonard timidly asks if they could have autographed dolls. Brent smiles and says sure, and they smile, then he adds “for 20 bucks.”

On the first takes, they just looked dejected. Then it was changed, so Leonard glanced at Raj, and then said to Brent, “Ten.” (This got a huge applause the first time they ran it with the new lines.) Brent says 18. Leonard says 12. Brent says 16. Leonard says, “Two for 30, plus you have to come to my birthday party.” Brent agrees.

Between takes at one point, Wheaton was really dancing to the music. I can’t really describe how he was moving, but he was really getting into it.

At one point, much earlier in the taping, Bill Prady came to tell us that if you write to NASA, they'll send you an astronaut, so he introduced the consultant that they'd sent for the episode, to help with their space questions (the guy was in the audience). And since astronauts always go in pairs, for safety (as Prady said), there was a second astronaut who came too, who he then introduced. Pretty cool.

And I got Wheaton's autograph after the taping! Along with Kunal and Simon on the program, then Johnny and Kaley signed the pic I'd printed of Leonard and Penny.
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