ennaxor

Same request as before - feel free to share, but don't claim the info as your own scoop.

The Pulled Groin Extrapolation

SCENE 1

The whole gang, including Amy and Bernadette, are at the guys’ apartment. Leonard’s cleaning up the table, and asks who wants the last dumping. Penny says she does. Sheldon tells her that they’ve just had Thai food, and in that culture the last morsel of food is given to the person who’s the most respected of the group, it’s a big honor. Penny snatches it anyway, stuffs the whole thing in her mouth, and tells them around it, thank you all for this high, high honor. Sheldon first told her something like she can one-up him or eat without chipping in in their apartment, choose wisely. Then his line was changed, to, “I’ve seen pictures of your mother. Keep eating.”

Howard stands and says, honey, if we want to make the movie, we better leave. Both Bernadette and Raj stand. Howard tells Raj, this might be hard for you, but when I say “honey,” I mean my fiance. Raj whispers into Howard’s ear, and Howard says that NOW it means her. Bernadette says she doesn’t mind if Raj comes with them to the movie. Howard says fine, but next time they’re getting a sitter. Penny says she’s going to work, so she’ll walk down with them.

Sheldon asks them which is closer to the new model train store, the movie theater or the Cheesecake Factory. Howard says that neither are close to it. Sheldon stands and says well then it doesn’t matter which one of them will drive him, and then suggests they play a guessing game to decide who gets to drive him. Sheldon says he’s thinking of a four-letter word that can refer to both a measurement of font and the compulsion to eat dirt. They all leave, and in the hallway Penny says she’s not driving him. Sheldon tells her not to give up, she can get it.

This leave Leonard and Amy in the apartment (Amy’s sitting in the middle of the couch, reading a book). Leonard had still been cleaning up from dinner, and is surprised to see Amy’s still there. He asks doesn’t she want to go with Sheldon, and she says no, she has no interest in either model train stores or the heartbreakers (maybe? heart-somethingers) who frequent them. Leonard says that he had some stuff he was gonna work on, and Amy says that’s fine, he won’t disturb her. Lenard asks, wouldn’t you be more comfortable in your own home? Amy considers, and then says no, not really. Leonard says well, he’ll just get to work then, and Amy says she doesn’t need a running commentary.

SCENE 2

Slightly later, Leonard and Amy still in the apartment. Leonard’s typing at his desk, then glances back at Amy, and sees she’s just sitting there, staring off into space. He asks if she’s okay, and she says of course she is, then looks back off to the side. Leonard tries to turn back to his computer, but can’t concentrate, and looks back at Amy instead and says, I thought you were reading. She says she was, and now she’s thinking about what she read, and stares into space again.

Leonard still can’t work, then Amy looks back at him and smiles, and asks if he’s okay, because he seems very uncomfortable. Leonard stutters, and says that he’s fine. She asks if he’d prefer her to leave, because she’s been told that she can outstay her welcome. On the first take, Leonard made this long, uncommitted noise, but then finally said she’s welcome to stay as long as she likes. Then it was changed to Leonard asking who told her that, and she said most recently, her gynecologist. Then Leonard again told her she’s welcome to stay, and she says good, because she’s having a wonderful time.

With the first take, Amy just looked off into space again, and Leonard leaned over to look in the same direction, to figure out what she was looking at. When they added the gynecologist line, Amy also laughed a little (after she’s having a great time), and said that she said the same thing to her gynecologist. Then it ended the same with them looking to the side.

SCENE 3

Raj is driving, with Sheldon in the passenger seat, and Howard and Bernadette behind. This was actually pretaped the day before, like all car scenes, but they reenacted it for us in the middle of the stage. Bernadette asks Sheldon what he’s planning on buying, and Sheldon says nothing, he’s going for a lecture - O gauge vs. the smaller HO gauge. Howard asks which side he comes down on. Sheldon says he’ll tell them after tonight, unlike others, he’s going in with an open mind. Then he says who is he kidding, it’s O gauge, go big or nothing.

Howard makes some comment about grown men playing with toy trains, and Bernadette points out that his closet is full of magic tricks. Howard says, first, they’re magic illusions, and second, when they’re married he’ll move them up to the attic to make room for all her clothes. Bernadette asks why she’d put her clothes in a closet in his mother’s house. Howard says that when she moves in, it’ll be like their house. She asks if his mother will move out. Howard asks why she would, it’s her house.

Bernadette says she’s not living with his mother. Howard points out that when they have children, she can read the Three Little Pigs to them, and she actually has hair on her chinny-chin-chin. Bernadette repeats that she’s not living with his mother, ever, and asks Raj to take her home. Howard tells Raj, no, go to the movie theater, but Bernadette still wants to go home. Raj makes this whining sound, and Sheldon silences Howard and Bernadette, tells Raj to drive him to the model train store, and then he doesn’t care what he does with them.

Then Kunal pointed to a spot ahead, and didn’t say anything, but looked over at Jim expectantly, and they all jumped up from their seats! Another imaginary speedbump. I cracked up (I’d been wondering if there would be a “speedbump,” usually Kaley pointed them out, but she wasn’t in this scene), but I was in the minority for that one.

SCENE 4

Leonard walks down the hallway, wearing his robe, drying his hair with a towel, and is disappointed to find Amy’s still there, still on the couch. She asks him how his shower was, and he says good, good. He asks, just out of curiosity, what time does she go to bed? And she says she’s up all night, she’s like a possum. Then she comments that Leonard wasn’t well-liked in high school, and he walks over and asks if she’s looking at his yearbook. She is, and reads, “You’re a great scientist. Maybe you can find a cure for being a dork.” On the first takes, Leonard said he’s still working on that. Then his line was changed to saying spray painting a lightening bolt on his suitcase didn’t work.

Sheldon comes in, carrying a large bag, and says that he can add Jerry’s Juncture to the list of stores that Sheldon Cooper will not be shopping at. Leonard asks that happened. Sheldon says that it was advertised as a discussion on the two different gauges, but was really a setup to convince the spineless into purchasing a HP starter set. Leonard asks what’s in the bag. Sheldon says he doesn’t want to talk about it… but it’s not a spine. At his desk, he pulls out a train set from the bag, and starts looking at it.

Amy says that she’s going home, and they should do this again sometime. Leonard says sure, of course. Amy says good, because she needs a date for a wedding on Saturday - the couple is the Brad and Angelina of the primate department. Leonard asks, wouldn’t you rather go with Sheldon? She says yes, but he acted like a child the whole time at the last wedding. (On one take, Mayim forgot and said “he acted like a - something - the whole time”). Sheldon, still examining the train set, says it’s not his fault, she told him there would be other scientists his age there. Amy tells Leonard it’s black tie, and she’ll split the rental. As she leaves, she says something like, “No dates to the prom, and two to a wedding, how things change.” Sheldon then tells Leonard, in a sing-song voice, haha, you have to go to a wedding!

SCENE 5

Bernadette knocks on the door outside Howard’s house. Howard yells that he’s got it. Mrs. Wolowitz yells asking if he can get it. He repeats he’s got it. His mom says fine, she’ll get it. He yells again he’s got it, and opens the door. Bernadette tells him she doesn’t want to fight, and I think she was caught off guard. Howard apologizes, and says he should have ran it by her first. Mrs. Wolowitz yells saying she doesn’t know who he’s talking to, but make a decision in or out, and don’t let the bugs in. He yells that the bugs are coming in because she’s their queen.

Then he suggests to Bernadette that they have a trial run before they make any decisions on where to live, and she can stay there for the weekend. She asks if his mom would be okay with that, and he yells to ask. She says yes, and that after all his sleepovers with the little Indian boy, the girl is a relief.

SCENE 6

Sheldon’s sitting on the floor next to his coffee table, wearing a conductor’s hat, with his new train set up on the table. He’s looking at one of the cars, and on the first take said something about how smaller is better, and then tells the passengers not to worry, he’s a gentle giant conductor. Then it was changed to him saying all these years, he’s been so wrong, the smaller the train, the more concentrated the fun.

Penny and Amy are sitting over by Sheldon’s desk, Penny helping Amy with her makeup (Amy’s wearing a pink blouse and long skirt). Penny asks her, you’re a brain scientist, right? And asks if she can explain a grown genius playing with toy trains. Amy says not without cutting his head open.

Amy asks if Penny can make her eyes like Cleopatra. Penny asks, for a wedding? Amy says you’re right, her cheekbones and beckoning pelvis are enough. Then Leonard walks in, dressed in a nice tux, and Penny stands and says doesn’t he look handsome, putting her hands on his arm, and says he’s like James Bond. Sheldon pipes up that Leonard’s better, cause he’s smaller.

Amy says she got something for Leonard to give to her - it’s a corsage. Penny tells her that guests don’t normally wear corsages to a wedding, that’s more of a prom thing. (On the first take Kaley flubbed the line, then said that it was Johnny’s muscles that were distracting her.) Amy says that she didn’t go to prom; her mom gave her cousin money to take her, but then he spent it on drugs. Penny tells Leonard to give her the corsage. So Leonard takes it out, and says Amy, this is for you, and tries to pin it on her dress. After a few seconds, Amy tells him that when he’s copping a feel, it goes on her wrist, and he quickly steps back, and puts it on the right place. Sheldon makes a “whoowhoo” train noise, and turns on the train so it goes around the track in a circle.

After the first take here, Kaley turned to Johnny and put her hands around his neck, and his hands were on her waist, and they started to sway for a second like they were dancing. But then Mark, the warmup guy, called out Kaley’s name, and the audience cheered, and Johnny lifted one of her arms in recognition. Then he dipped her backwards before they parted. Later Kaley was brushing off Johnny’s shoulders, making sure there wasn’t anything on his tux jacket. Johnny also rubbed Kaley’s shoulders a little, but I think that was earlier during the first scene.

SCENE 7

Bernadette’s unpacking in Howard’s room, and says she hopes his mom isn’t angry at her for winning in whatever game it was they played. Howard says no, she said she’d eat her tushie; when she’s really angry, she’s not hungry for tushie. On the second take, the opening conversation was changed to Howard saying that dinner went well. Bernadette asks if his mom always cuts up his meat for him, and he says only when it’s fatty. He misunderstands her look, and tells her not to be jealous, and she’ll be the one cutting it for him someday.

Mrs. Wolowitz yells that she found the extra head to the water pick, if Bernadette wants to use it. Bernadette yells back that she’s fine. Mrs. Wolowits asks if she’s sure, cause she prayed half a brisket out from her teeth. Howard yells asking if they can have some privacy. His mom says she knows what that means, “hubba hubba!” Howard and Bernadette start to kiss, but the mood’s ruined when Mrs. Wolowitz says she’ll watch NCIS with the volume turned up loud to give them their privacy. Then she’s pleased with one of the actors on the show, and says “break me off a piece of that chocolate bar.” Howard tries to continue with Bernadette, but she’s not interested.

SCENE 8

At the wedding reception, most of the guests are dancing, but Amy and Leonard are sitting in the back corner at a table. Amy’s swaying in her seat a little, but Leonard’s leaning over, looking bored. Amy asks if he’d like to dance, but he says no, he’s really not much of a dancer. She says that he’s not winning any awards as a conversationalist either. He says that the bride and groom look like they’re having a good time. Amy says that’s because they have a feverish night of copious, socially approved sex ahead of them, and in some cultures they would stand outside the door and cheer as the couple achieved orgasm. First Leonard’s response to this was that sounds like a late night, and he has work in the morning. Then it was changed to him asking, wasn’t it enough that he chipped in half for the blender?

Amy says that Leonard may not have noticed, but she’s being a delight, and he’s not upholding his end of the bargain. He apologizes, and says that the wedding reminds him of his kinda-sorta girlfriend who’s 9000 miles away. Amy says that she has a kinda-sorta boyfriend who’s playing with toy trains, but he doesn’t hear her bitching about it. She tells him that being mopey and self-absorbed is only attractive in men who can play the guitar and are considerably taller than Leonard.

He says that he’s not mopey, he’s fun. She asks to see the evidence. He says that he’s at least as much fun as she is. Amy asks if she would draw a moustache on her index finger to act as a conversational ice-breaker, and then says that she did, and lifts her finger under her nose and smiles to show him. (On one take there was a long pause after this, until Johnny finally said, “I guess that’s my line?”) Leonard says fine, and asks what she wants him to do.

Amy says that the band is playing, and they’re on fire, he’s sitting next to a woman with hooker makeup, let’s see if she can sweat through her dress guard. Leonard repeats that he’s really not much of a dancer. Amy says that’s okay, she’ll lead, and lifts the moustache under her nose again. So they go out onto the dance floor, where the chicken dance is now playing, and they join in. At first they just did the first few moves, but on the last take it went longer to where they were circling around each other, and Johnny took off his jacket and threw it to the side… But I think by that point it was more the actors having fun than the characters.

SCENE 9

Howard’s in his bedroom, dressed in his pajamas, holding a light saber and having an imaginary battle, complete with sound effects that he’s making himself. Bernadette comes in, and he puts it away (on the wall above his bed), and asks if she’s ready for bed. She says no, she needs to use the bathroom, and his mom has been in there for like an hour.

At first Howard said you can’t really blame her, she’s got chicken liver stuck in her colon, and it’s a miracle that anything can get through. And something about how when she dies, they’re going to find tons of undigested food inside her. And there was a bit more to this, but they only did this longer version once. Bernadette says that she just wants to go home, and Howard stops her, and says that he’ll fix this.

So then he goes to yell at his mom that it’s just not her night, and Bernadette needs to brush her teeth and get ready for bed (when they did the scene from the second time on, they cut the whole previous paragraph). Mrs. Wolowitz says that Bernadette can just go in there, she doesn’t mind. Howard tells Bernadette problem solved, but Bernadette doesn’t want to do that. Howard says that she’s just sitting there, and you can’t see anything, he does it all the time. Bernadette still isn’t up for it, so Howard offers to get her stuff for her, and she can use the downstairs bathroom (though this was later cut too).

Before he can go, Mrs. Wolowitz yells that the eagle has landed, and Howard adds that they have splash down. Now that the bathroom’s free, Bernadette goes to use it, but Howard stops her first and spreads something on her upper lip to cover the smell, and says they use it in morgues and it works wonders. On the second take, instead Howard says he’ll go ahead to light the candles for her, and then when she’s done they’ll make sweet love.

SCENE 10

Amy helps Sheldon up the stairwell, saying that this is the last floor. Leonard says he doesn’t know what happened, he put his left foot in, he pulled his left foot out, he put his left foot in, and something just snapped. Amy tells him that the Hokey Pokey is a young man’s dance. Leonard says that he still had a good time, and thanks her for it, plus thanks for breaking the head off of the ice swan for him to hold on his groin. (On one take Johnny said “thanks for breaking the head off of the - I almost said egg swan, which doesn’t make any sense… and also sounds gross”). Amy says she is excellent at spatial reasoning, and thought the curve of the neck would cradle his genitals nicely.

Leonard says well, again, thank you, and she says, again, you’re welcome. He asks if she’d like to come in for some tea, but she says no, she’s going home. So he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before going inside, and Amy goes directly over to Penny’s apartment and knocks.

Penny answers and says hey, Ames, how’d the wedding go? (Random, but I loved how she called her Ames.) Amy says good, until she made Leonard call in love with her. Penny tells her to come in and let’s talk. Penny asks if she’d like some wine, and Amy says no, that’s what got her into this mess, along with her pelvis. Penny asks what happened, and Amy says that Leonard was needy and depressed, missing his girlfriend, and she of course was kind and supportive, so with that plus her dress it was bound to happen. Penny first asked “Did you guys do something?”, then it was changed to, “Did he make a move on you?”

Amy stands and says no, but it’s just a matter of time. (Mayim’s dress got caught on her heel the first take as she stood, and Kaley joked that she didn’t think the dress was long enough.) And now she’s going to have to break Leonard’s little heard. Penny says she thinks that he’ll be okay. Amy says no, and as much as she’d love for them to both be defiled by the same man, Leonard just doesn’t turn her motor.

Penny asks what she’s going to do, and if Amy would like Penny to talk to him for her, let him down easy. Amy says no, she’ll let him have tonight, and then send him an email the next day to tell him he’s never getting her wonder world. Then Amy says that frankly, Penny has a better chance than Leonard does. And Amy lifts the moustache to her upper lip again, and wiggles her eyebrows, and smiles.

SCENE 11

Next morning, Leonard’s pouring a drink in the kitchen, wearing his robe, Sheldon walks in wearing his pjs and the conductor hat, holding an even smaller train. He tells Leonard it’s half the size of HO gauge, and he can fit it in his mouth - and then demonstrates. Leonard says it sounds like Sheldon had lots of fun last night, and Sheldon (the train still in his mouth) says he did.

Sheldon spits out the train, and asks about the wedding. Leonard said he had a better time than he thought he would, and Amy really knows how to help a guy relax and have fun, though his groin still hurts. And Sheldon makes this karate chop move and hits Leonard on his shoulder. Leonard angrily asks what that was for, and Sheldon says, “To send a message. She is not yours.” Leonard asks, what? And Sheldon repeats, “She’s not yours!” and walks away.

SCENE 12

Howard’s asleep in bed, Bernadette comes in with a breakfast tray. She says good morning handsome, and he says good morning mom… then realizes who it is. He says of course it’s her, and she looks beautiful in them morning. She says she and Mrs. Wolowitz made him breakfast, and sets down the tray, and he asks if they’re getting along. Bernadette says that they’re very different people, which makes communicating difficult. Mrs. Wolowitz yells asking if he likes the pancakes, and Bernadette yells back that he hasn’t tried them yet.

Howard asks if there’s butter, and she tells him there’s butter-flavored syrup.

Mrs. Wolowitz yelled something else, and Bernadette yells that he wants butter. Mrs. Wolowitz yells that it’s butter-flavored syrup, and Bernadette replies that she just told him that. Howard tells her that it’s fine, he doesn’t need butter, but she says no, if he wants butter, she’ll get him butter, and goes to get it. So then from off-screen you hear Bernadette and Mrs. Wolowitz yelling back and forth - “He still wants butter! How do you deal with him?” - Howard yells that he doesn’t need butter, and someone yelled, “What’s he yelling about now?”

But on the second take, after Bernadette left to get the butter, instead Howard turns to his pancakes, and says he guesses he’ll cut them himself.