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Old 03-30-2011, 03:39 PM
  #113
ennaxor
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Yup, last night was 4x22!

Like I said last week, please don't copy and past this elsewhere (link to the forum), and don't spread this like it's your exclusive news (give me credit).

"The Wildebeest Implementation"

Scene 1 - Mall bathroom

Penny and Amy are in the stalls, Bernadette’s washing her hands. Amy says something about how she’s having fun. Penny says she’s glad. Amy says that her previous bathroom experiences have been focused on expulsion, but now she has the added enjoyment of the social company.

Bernadette says Amy must have been in the bathroom with other women before. Amy comes out of the stall and says yes, but they didn’t like it when she started some stall-to-stall conversations. On the first take, I think Bernadette said something like “I wonder why.” Then it was changed to her saying like some women don’t like getting chummy when their panties are down.

Amy asks Penny how she’s doing, and she says she’s fine. Amy says she’s only asking because some people have shy bladder, and they’re unable to urinate when - and Penny cuts her off and repeats she’s fine. Amy asks Bernadette if Penny is always this grumpy when she urinates. Bernadette says they’re really not that close.

Penny comes out and says forget it, she’ll just go later. Amy tells her, “And I’ll be right there with you.”

Scene 2 - Shoe store

The girls are all looking at shoes. Bernadette asks Penny if she’d told her that Priya had invited her and Howard over for dinner with her and Leonard. Penny says no, but that’s fine. Amy says that it’s not fine - Priya is testing the strength of their group and Bernadette’s loyalty to Penny. Bernadette asks why Priya would do that. Amy asks what a cheetah does when attacking a herd of wildebeests - it goes for the weakest member.

Bernadette asks what makes her the weakest member. Amy says her trusting nature, and her teeny tiny body, and she wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti. Penny says she doesn’t care about who hangs out with who, and she doesn’t have an issue with Leonard’s new girlfriend, even though she wears too much makeup. Penny then spots a pair of shoes she likes, but looks at the price, and says she’d have to rent out her womb to a gay couple to afford them.

Bernadette tells Penny that she’ll just tell Priya they can’t make it. Amy says no, you have to go. Bernadette asks why, she thought she was the teeny tiny wildebeest. Amy says she is, and her hair smells like strawberries, and that’s their in. Amy wants Bernadette to act as a double agent, so she can report on Priya’s tactics and weaknesses, and feed her false information about Leonard, like he’s participated in back alley **** fights. Bernadette says she’s not good at lying, they beat that out of you at Catholic school. Amy says she’ll teach her, she was in cub scouts for two years before they found out she was a girl.

Penny says she doesn’t know them, she’s just an innocent shopper wondering if the store will take her Texaco card, and walks off. Amy asks Bernadette if she’s comfortable hiding a recording device within the cleavage of her ample bosom. Bernadette just looks at her, and on a later take they added Amy telling her, “Come on Strawberries, take one for the team.” Then in-between Amy’s lines, they added Bernadette saying she doesn’t want anything in her ample bosom.

Scene 3 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon’s working at his whiteboard. Leonard comes down the hall, dressed nicely, and says he’s leaving to go to Priya’s for dinner. Sheldon tells him that he’s figured out his idea for three person chess. Leonard says that’s great, then says he’s gotta go. Sheldon asks if he wants to know how he figured out the problem about something with the balance in the middle, and says it’s actually five simple words - and then says five words that I had no hope of remembering. Leonard says that’s actually brilliant.

Sheldon says yes, and it lets him include his two new chess pieces - serpent and old woman. Leonard says he has to ask, what do they do? Sheldon says that when serpent slithers up to a piece, it poisons it, and the piece will die after two moves, and demonstrates. Unless the old woman reaches the piece first, and she’ll suck the poison out of it, and become something like the grand empress, which combines the powers of the knight, queen, and serpent. Leonard says that’s elegant. Sheldon says it’s because it’s simple.

Leonard says he looks forward to playing with him. Sheldon asks, and? Leonard’s confused. Sheldon says that it’s three person chess, they’ll need a third person to play with them. Sheldon says that ever since Leonard’s been having regular intercourse, he’s lost his sharp thinking. Leonard points out that Einstein was with lots of women. Sheldon says that Einstein unified gravity with the rest of the forces, and if he’d been less of a hound dog, something about how they’d all have more time (I couldn’t really hear the ending to the line).

Leonard leaves the apartment, and outside runs into Amy, who’s painfully walking up the stairs in bright yellow high heels. Leonard asks if she’s okay. She says yes, she’s just breaking in her new shoes. He says they’re nice. She asks him if he knew that women wore high heels so their chest and butt will protrude. Leonard says he never really thought about it.

Amy poses to show him, and Leonard says sure, protruding. She tells him not to leer, he has a girlfriend. He says he’s got to go, and she asks if he’s going to dinner with Priya, Howard, and Bernadette. He says yes, and asks how she knows about it. She says she heard at the mall when hanging with her girlfriends, cause that’s her life now. And she tells Leonard not to ogle her when she walks away, and she walks (awkwardly) towards Penny’s door. Leonard does watch her for a few seconds, before shaking himself out of it, and going down stairs.

Scene 4 - Raj’s apartment

Priya opens the door to greet Leonard. Leonard spots Raj in the kitchen, and asks if he’ll be joining them for dinner. Raj says sure, the lonely guy plus the two happy couples. Priya tells him to stop feeling so sorry for himself. Raj says he has to, he’s the only one who will. Just like he’s the only one who will have sex with him.

Leonard asks, really, in front of your sister? Priya says they shared a room growing up, she already knows. Raj says he’s going out to walk the streets by himself, and says some stuff about how he’s invisible, and the city doesn’t have a heart. He leaves, then comes back a second later for cause he forgot his windbreaker, and it’s chilly outside.

Scene 5 - Penny’s apartment

Penny’s lying on her back on her couch, looking up at her feet, where she’s wearing new shoes. Amy asks if this is some sort of way to break them in. Penny says no, but as soon as those puppies touch the ground, they’re hers, and the only way she’ll be able to pay for them is by walking Hollywood Boulevard in them. Kaley messed up this line on one take, and commented something about how the shoes were just so cute (as her excuse).

Penny sits up and takes the shoes off, and Amy gets a text on her phone, she says the Wildebeest is in the curry. Penny asks, what?, and Amy tells her Bernadette’s at Priya’s. Amy responds messaged received, proceed with operation Priya, Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya. Penny asks Amy, didn’t you get enough of the clique stuff in high school? Amy says she wishes, to have a clique first you need friends, and she didn’t have any. Penny asks, none? Amy says no, she used to take her lunch and eat with the janitor, which was nice, until his wife found out and called her a puta.

She gets another text from Bernadette, and says that Priya just made a harsh comment on Penny’s acting career. Penny asks what she said. First, Amy’s answer was Priya asked Bernadette how Penny’s acting career was going. Then it was changed to Priya said she thought it was good Penny was following her dreams, no matter what. Penny’s response to both was “that bitch!”

Amy asks Penny how she wants to respond. Penny tells her to have Bernadette tell Amy that she’s going to Prague to film a movie with Angelina Jolie. Amy asks her if she thinks it’ll be in 3D. Penny says that doesn’t matter. Amy says she’ll say it’s in 3D, that’ll get Priya going. Then it was changed to something like, that’ll show her puta donkey. Then changed again to that’ll make them think the studio really believes in the project.

Scene 6 - Raj’s apartment

Leonard, Priya, Howard, and Bernadette are eating dinner. Leonard asks, really, 3D? Bernadette says that’s what she’s heard. Howard comments that the studio must really believe in it. Leonard says he can’t believe Penny didn’t tell him about it. Priya asks if he’s been spending time with Penny, and he quickly says no. She asks then why is he surprised that she didn’t tell him?

Leonard stammers around a lot, and basically says he’s not so much surprised as the other thing. Priya asks what the other thing is. Leonard stammers some more, and says he can’t quite remember the word, and asks Howard what’s the word he’s looking for. Howard says he’s not helping, this is too entertaining.

Bernadette adds that Penny’s dating an astronaut. Priya says that’s impressive. Bernadette says something like there’s a lot of stuff that’s impressive about Penny, and Leonard too. Leonard’s taken out his inhaler and breathes in a couple times. Then he says befuddled, that’s the word he was looking for.

Scene 7 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon’s playing his three person chess against himself (the pieces are black, white, and silver). He moves one piece, then rotates the board. He turns to his right and says, good move. Then he rotates the board back, turns to his left, and says thank you.

There’s a knock at the door, so he says excuse me to his “opponents” and answers it. It’s Raj, who says he needs a hug. On the first take, Sheldon just shuts the door. On the second take, Sheldon says he has company, then shuts the door.

Scene 7 - Same place, moments later

Raj says come on, let me in. Sheldon opens the door and says he doesn’t want to hug him. Raj says he doesn’t want a hug from him, he’s just feeling blue. Sheldon says, so you’re depressed. Raj says not so much depressed as lonely.

Sheldon says he doesn’t know the color for lonely. Raj asks, what? Sheldon says red is angry, green is jealousy, yellow is scared, and blue is depressed. But they could assign a color to lonely. Raj says that nothing rhymes with orange, so orange is probably lonely. Sheldon tells Raj to come in, he looks completely orange with loneliness. As Raj enters, Sheldon comments that that will never catch on.

Raj asks what he was doing, and Sheldon says he was working on three person chess. Raj asks if they can play. Sheldon asks if he brought anyone with him. Raj says no. Sheldon says he’ll leave it as a mental exercise for Raj to figure out why the two of them can’t play three person chess.

Sheldon says he’ll get Raj a hot beverage. Raj doesn’t want one, but Sheldon says it’s non-optional, and they’re out of tea, so he hopes Raj likes… something I don’t remember. Raj says that he has a big decision to make, and he’s scared. Sheldon says scared, yellow, continue. Raj pulls out a bottle of pills that his friend from the school of pharmacology gave him, and says they’re supposedly the next big thing to help social anxiety. Sheldon asks what’s in them, and Raj says something attached to something that’s from cow urine (but more specifically, of course, I just don’t remember). Sheldon says he likes cows. Raj says that’s not the point. Sheldon says it was a point within itself.

Raj says that as a scientist his ability to think clearly is important, and he’s afraid that if he takes those pills he might lose the unique thing that helps him be so successful in his field. Sheldon tells Raj that they’ve worked together for a number of years, and his advice is that Raj take the pills like tic tac’s.

Scene 8 - Raj’s apartment

The two couples are now sitting around the coffee table, playing Jenga. Howard’s removing a piece and saying he’s still surprised Penny’s dating an astronaut, and asks how they meet. Bernadette says the same way you meet all astronauts. Howard says most of them live in Texas. Bernadette, tensely, says obviously this one doesn’t. And she points out that Leonard lives here, and Priya’s from India - people meet people all the time. And she says Howard meets astronauts all the time, and she doesn’t grill him about it, so she expects the same courtesy. Howard says he wasn’t grilling, he’s just curious.

Leonard, taking his turn, says he still can’t get over the fact that she got a big movie, not that he cares what his ex is up to. (Johnny accidentally knocked loose a piece on one take, and they had to stop to fix it.) Bernadette says maybe that’s how they met, on the movie. Priya asks why an astronaut would be on a movie set. Bernadette says as a consultant. Priya says she thought the movie was about 17th century Vienna. Bernadette asks, can’t a man have a hobby?? And she stands and says she’s going to the bathroom, unless that’s implausible too, and walks off. Howard smiles at Leonard and Priya and says it’s nice to have another couple to hang out with.

Scene 9 - Penny’s / Raj’s bathroom

Penny puts the new shoes back into the box, saying they’re going back. Then she moves the box lid like a puppet, and says in a high voice, “don’t send us back, we love you!” Penny says she loves them too, but they’re more expensive than her rent. The “shoes” say, “but you look so good in us!” Penny says dammit, the shoes are right, and takes them back out of the box.

Amy’s phone rings, and she looks at the number and says it’s the Wildebeest. She answers, and Bernadette tells her that she can’t keep it up, her stories are falling apart. Amy reassures her that it’s okay, but then tells Penny “we may have to kill her.” Amy puts Bernadette on speaker phone, then asks where she is. Bernadette says in the bathroom. Amy says great, it’s another one of their bathroom chats. Amy asks her what’s wrong, and Bernadette says they keep asking all these questions that she doesn’t know the answer to.

Amy tells her to change the topic. Bernadette says she guesses she can get them back to talking about Leonard and Priya visiting India to meet her parents. Penny chokes on her drink, and asks, what? Bernadette says they said they might go that summer. Penny asks they’re not getting engaged, are they? Bernadette says she doesn’t know, she was too busy trying to keep Amy’s astronaut story straight.

Amy asks what astronaut story. Bernadette says Amy texted her saying Penny was dating an astronaut. Amy says no, she’d texted architect, and auto-correct must have changed it, how amusing. Bernadette, not amused at all, says yeah, hilarious. Penny tells her to forget about the astronaut, and Amy cuts in to correct architect, then asks where would Penny meet an astronaut? Penny tells Bernadette to find out more about their trip. Bernadette says she can’t do this anymore, and Penny tells her “don’t you give up on us!” Howard knocks on the door to the bathroom, checking if “Bernie” is okay, and she yells, “he’s an architect!”

Scene 10 - Coffee shop

Sheldon and Raj enter a coffee shop. At the time I thought it might have been the same one from the season 3 finale, but thinking back it was different. Raj thanks Sheldon for coming with him, and says he’s a good friend. Sheldon says he’s glad Raj thinks he’s a good friend, that’s what he tries to emulate.

Raj says so let’s see if these pills work, then walks up to a table where a woman is sitting by herself. She eventually looks up and asks if she can help him. After a few seconds, while Raj is trying to speak, he finally apologizes for staring, but says she’s just so beautiful. She says he’s sweet and likes his accent, and asks where he’s from. He says India, and she says she’s always wanted to go there. He says yes, it’s a beautiful country. (Kunal fumbled over this line, and then joked that he can’t speak English.)

He asks if he can join her, and she says sure. Raj sits, while Sheldon just stands nearby to watch. She says her name is Angela, and Raj says that’s fitting, deriving from angel. He introduces himself and Sheldon. She says something to Sheldon, but he says not to interact with him, he’s just there to observe. She asks observe what? Raj says they’re scientists, they observe everything.

Raj hands Sheldon a bill and tells him to buy himself a scone. Sheldon goes to the counter and asks for a scone, but the woman tells him they’re out of scones, but they have muffins. Sheldon says as delicious as that sounds, the money was meant for scones. There’s a commotion behind them, and he turns to find Raj taking his clothes off as he’s talking to Angela. She asks what he’s doing, and he says just getting comfortable. She leaves as he gets down to his underwear, and Raj says that she didn’t get to see his penis yet - and he takes off his underwear.

Scene 11 - Raj’s apartment

The group’s still playing Jenga. Priya asks if anyone wants more coffee, the guys say sure, and Bernadette gets up to help. As they go to the kitchen, Howard tells Leonard that it’s nice how the gals get along. Leonard asks, “Gals? Who are you, Fred Flintsone?”

In the kitchen, Bernadette comments that their trip to India sounds fun. Priya says yes. Bernadette asks if she’s worried that her parents won’t like Leonard. Priya says a little, they’re very traditional. Bernadette says, but it’s not like you guys are getting engaged yet, right? Priya says no, it’s way too early for that still. Bernadette says to herself not engaged, good, then says she needs to use the bathroom again.

Priya stops her and says she’s been going to the bathroom a lot, and asks if she’s okay. Bernadette says she’s fine, and asks if Priya’s writing a book. Priya asks why Bernadette’s angry. Bernadette says she’s not angry, maybe Priya’s the angry one. Priya asks Bernadette what’s going on. Bernadette says she can’t do this anymore, and storms towards the door, saying she’s a good girl, she went to Catholic school. Howard looks at his watch, saying oh, is that the time, they better go. Then they changed it to Howard checking his watch, saying it’s been fun, and he knocks over the Jenga tower and says “you win” on his way out. Priya stands there in confusion, and Leonard tells her he thinks the word she’s looking for is befuddled.

Scene 12 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon, Howard, and Leonard are playing three person chess. Sheldon uses the catapult to move his piece next to Howard’s gorilla something. Howard moves his piece (none of these are regular chess pieces) to the transporter, and flicks a wheel to see where his piece will land - it goes next to one of Leonard’s. Leonard looks through some notes, and asks when his pawn can use the golf cart. Sheldon says when it’s charged, or when Leonard has the time machine, obviously. Leonard spots something on the board, and says he moves his bee keeper next to Sheldon’s bishop, and releases the swarm, checkmate on Sheldon. Sheldon says he knew he should have given his bishop the rocket pack. Raj, standing naked in the kitchen, says that he calls next game.
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