Sorry for the double post, but I know some people who use the links in the OP to read reports for episodes that have aired but don't want to read the unaired ones yet... So I thought I'd post the new report in a different post just to separate them a bit.
The episode is called "The Toast Derivation." The standard request - please don't copy and paste elsewhere, just link to the forum.
Scene 1 - Guys’ apartment
Sheldon’s in his spot, on the phone with a pizza restaurant, and says “buonasera.” He says that means good evening in Italian, and the fact that he has to clarify that calls into question the authenticity of their “ristorante.”
Leonard walks in from the hallway, tells Sheldon he’s heading out, and grabs his jacket from the closet. Sheldon tells the person on the phone “un momento,” then tells them now they’re just being deliberately stupid, and then asks Leonard where he’s going. Leonard says he’s going to Raj’s to have dinner with Priya, and Howard will be there too; Sheldon can come if he wants.
Sheldon says but it’s Thursday, and on Thursday everyone’s supposed to come over to their place for pizza, or at leasta facsimile of it from a man who calls himself Luigi, but sounds more like Jackie Chan. Leonard tells Sheldon he can make an exception just this one time. Sheldon says sure, they can also dress like women (this part of the line was later taken out), and stop pronouncing the letter M, but that’d be “adness.”
Leonard asks Sheldon if he’s coming or not. Sheldon says no, he doesn’t like parties. Leonard says it’s not a party, it’s just the same people that normally hang out at their place at Raj’s. Sheldon says when 5 people are eating and talking, it’s a party. Leonard asks then why isn’t it a party when it’s at their apartment. Sheldon says it’s because they don’t throw parties.
Leonard tells Sheldon he doesn’t know what to say, but he’s going to have dinner with Priya. Sheldon says he still won’t go, and sums up why in one word, tradition. For 8 years every Thursday, they’ve been breaking bread covered in cheese and sauce, discussing the events of the day, and on occasion share a laugh or two, and Sheldon says apparently Leonard doesn’t care as much about their rich heritage as he does. Leonard says apparently not, and starts to leave.
Sheldon stops him and asks what he’s supposed to do for dinner, and Leonard tells him to just come anyway. Sheldon says but what if Raj serves haggis and blood pudding? Leonard says he highly doubts that’s what Raj will serve. Sheldon says but if he does, he’ll have to pretend to enjoy the liver and lungs that’s packed into the stomach of a goat… and blood pudding’s basically the same thing, so he doesn’t know why Raj is serving both.
Leonard again asks if he’s coming or not, and Sheldon give in and says fine, he’ll go to the haggis party, even though it’s complete and utter “adness.”
Scene 2 - Raj’s apartment
Sheldon and Leonard walk up to the door, and Sheldon gasps, suddenly remembering Raj’s plasma TV with the dead pixels in the corner. Leonard tells Sheldon to just not watch the TV. Sheldon says what, and be a social pariah? And then Sheldon added something else, but I couldn’t hear the line over the laughter (and this bit in the hallway was pre-taped, so I didn’t have a second chance to see it).
Leonard sighs, and Sheldon asks that the audible sigh is a sign of exasperation, right? Leonard says yes. Sheldon asks if he was exasperated with him or the TV pixels.
Raj answers the door and says he made Tex-Mex. Sheldon says great, Tex-Mex made by Indians, they’d be better off with the pizza made by the Chinese guy. Leonard greets Priya and kisses her, and Howard tells Raj that must be fun for you, watching Hofstadter suck the saliva from your sister’s mouth.
Sheldon, still standing by the door, says before the evening goes any further, they need to decide on seating arrangements. Priya tells him it’s fine, they can just sit anywhere. Sheldon says it’ll be like a hippie love-fest. Leonard pats the couch and tells Sheldon to just sit down, and he does.
Raj sets food on the table, saying it’s fajitas with all the fixings, so they can make their own. Sheldon says wonderful, dinner with some assembly required. Priya asks Sheldon if he wants a margarita. Sheldon jumps up from his seat and asks, “Margarita? Where are we? What’s going on?”
Scene 3 - Cheesecake Factory (pre-taped)
Sheldon goes up to Penny at the bar, and asks for a glass of water, neat, with a little umbrella. Penny gives him the glass, then starts to walk to the side, but Sheldon stops her, saying something like isn’t this where the barkeep wipes the counter with a rag and coaxes the problems out of the troubled customer. Penny says she was just going to get his little umbrella, but fine, and asks what’s wrong.
(Editing to add the rest of the scene, best as I can remember... Sorry I left it out!)
Sheldon tells Penny about how now that Leonard's dating Priya, all the guys hang out at Raj's now. I really can't remember what Penny said, but they talked a little before Sheldon's phone rang, and it's Amy on a video call. When Sheldon answers, he tells Penny to go get him the umbrella now. She sighs, and he wonders what she's exasperated about.
But then Amy basically ends up talking to Penny instead (starting with a "hi bestie!"), and Sheldon sits there and holds the phone while they talk, I think about Leonard and Priya. Sheldon eventually makes some comment about just sitting there while the hens cluck.
I know this is all really vague, but yeah, it was actually a good sized scene, so there's a lot more to it that I'm just not remembering since we just saw it once.
Scene 4 - Guys’ apartment
Sheldon’s putting food on the table as Leonard walks in and asks what he’s doing. Sheldon says he’s putting out snacks. Leonard says you know we’re all hanging out at Raj’s again tonight, right? Sheldon says he never said the snacks were for them, and calls Leonard a Nosey Nelly (the Nosey Nelly was added on a later take, and the first time they did it, Jim and Johnny ended up smiling at each other).
Leonard asks, you’re having people over? Sheldon says yes, and he bets it’s killing Leonard wondering who is coming over. Leonard doesn’t care, but Sheldon says fine, he’ll tell him: Stuart from the comic book store, Kripke from the university, Penny’s ex-boyfriend Zack, and TV’s Levar Burton. Leonard asks, Levar Burton’s coming over? Sheldon says maybe, he tweeted him.
Leonard says right, and tells Sheldon to tell Levar that he liked him on Star Trek. Sheldon tells Leonard to stop horning in on his new friends. Leonard turns to leave, but Sheldon stops him, and says “We had a good run.” Leonard says okay… Sheldon says that things change. Leonard says sure they do. Sheldon says this is awkward, but he has people coming over, and he’s going to have to ask Leonard to leave. Leonard says he was already leaving, and Sheldon says not to make things harder than it already is. Leonard just looks at him, confused, before finally leaving. Sheldon closes the door behind him, then says “He’ll be back.” Leonard shouts through the door, “Of course I’ll be back, I live here!”
Scene 5 - Penny’s apartment
Penny’s sitting on her couch, and eats some yogurt. She makes a face, says “I was wrong, you were right, you are expired,” and spits it back in the cup. There’s a knock at the door, and she answers to find Bernadette and Amy. Bernadette says that they’re kidnapping her, and Amy tells her that kidnapping is being used playfully. Penny says she figured. Amy says good, then holds out a pillowcase and tells Penny to put it over her head.
Penny says no. First Amy turned to Bernadette and says “you called it.” Then the line was changed to Amy saying Penny was a lot more fun before Leonard punched her in the heart. Bernadette tells Penny that they thought she could use a girl’s night out, maybe go dancing. Penny tells them that she’s really not in the mood. Amy asks if Penny understands that the dancing is supposed to help her keep her mind off of Leonard, and the variety of sex he is having right now.
Penny asks that if they’ll stop getting on her case about Leonard and Priya if she agrees to go, and they say yes. So she agrees, and goes back to her room to change. Amy follows, and tells Bernadette that if she’d brought chloroform like she’d wanted, it would have made things a lot easier.
Scene 6 - Guys’ apartment
Sheldon, Kripke, Stuart, and Zack are all sitting around the coffee table. Sheldon looks at his watch, and says apparently Levar won’t be joining them, and suggests that they go around in a circle and introduce themselves, and say why they’re there. He says he’s Sheldon, and for regular readers of the New England journal of physics, he needs no introduction. And for those unfamiliar with the publication, there’s a copy in their goody bag. He tells Stuart to go next.
So Stuart introduces himself, says he owns a comic book store, and for economic reasons he’s now living in it. As for what he’s hoping to get out of the night, he says a hot shower would be nice. Zack is up, says his name, and, “I’m… uh…. Can you come back to me later?” Kripke introduces his name, and says he’s only there cause Sheldon told him there would be a raffle, then asks when it’ll be. Sheldon says it’ll be the grand finale to their evening of fun. Kripke says he’s got one more question, and Sheldon says that yes, you must be present to win.
Zack says, oh, he’s got it! But then loses his train of thought again before he can say anything about himself.
Scene 7 - Raj’s apartment
Leonard, Priya, Raj, and Howard are all sitting around the coffee table. Leonard tells Priya that the chili is really good, and asks where she learned how to make it. Priya says that when she studied in London, her flatmate was from Texas. Leonard says he hopes that she wasn’t like his flatemate from Texas.
Priya says that Sheldon is a quirky one. Howard say that they’re all quirky, Sheldon’s crazy. Then Howard’s line was changed to saying that Sheldon’s looking at quirky in his rearview mirror. Howard asks Raj if he told Priya about the time that Sheldon was punched by Bill Gates. Priya says no, and asks what happened. Raj says that he spoke at the university, and afterwards Sheldon told him that if he’d spent less time focused on starving children in Africa, maybe Windows Vista wouldn’t have been so bad.
Leonard says “Pow, right in the nose,” and says it made me proud to own a PC. Someone proposes a toast to quirkyness, and after they drink Howard says that was the first time they’ve had a toast without Sheldon explaining where the name comes from. Priya asks where it comes from, and Leonard says that the ancient Romans used to put spiced toast in their punch.
Raj says that Sheldon tells it better. Leonard and Howard agree that yeah, he does. Leonard’s quiet for a moment, then says hell, he misses Sheldon!
Scene 8 - Guys’ apartment
Zack is telling a story - after they finished snowboarding, he went to get in the Jacuzzi. And since no one else was around, he was free-balling it. Then a woman came up, totally drunk, and wanted to get in the Jacuzzi with him. Sheldon has a question, was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub? Kripke asks, that’s your question?
Zack asks what the difference is. Sheldon says that Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, but hot tub is the general term. All Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis. Zack asks if that’s like all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs. Sheldon says that surprisingly, yes. Zack asks then what are toes? Stuart tells Zack to continue his story, he needs something to think about in the shower.
Zack says so she took off all her clothes, got in with him, and “you know what the first thing I noticed was?” Sheldon says the water level rose. Zack says no. Sheldon says yes, it did, and Archimedes actually discovered the principle of displacement while he was taking a bath.
Kripke tells Zack to keep going, free-balling, hot girl… Sheldon says that his story was better. Kripke asks if his story has wet breasts in it. Sheldon says no, but it has something better, a crown. The king wanted to know how much gold was in the crown, but because of the irregular size they couldn’t use math to measure it. But Archimedes figured out that by measuring how high the water rose when the crown was submerged, they could figure out how much gold was in it.
Zack says long story short, he nailed her. Sheldon continues that when finished figuring it out, he said “eureka!” Zack says that when he finishes he says “holy moly;” he doesn’t know why, he just does. Sheldon says this conclude the getting to know you portion of the evening, and suggests they move on to vintage video games. He holds up three options (the last of which is a text game, and adds a little voice “pick me, pick me!”), but Kripke says all three suck hairy meatballs.
Kripke says he’ll go get the karaoke machine from his car, they can all get plastered, and blow the roof off this place. Zack says he’ll go make a beer run. Stuart says he’s going to take a shower, and they disperse and agree to meet back in 15 minutes. Sheldon watches them all go, then says he’s not having any fun.
Scene 9 - Penny’s bedroom
Fun fact - they built a new set for Penny’s bedroom for this episode. Instead of filming in the back corner of her apartment, they had a separate set swing set to the left of her apartment set, so they could get different angles. Rather than the camera facing her bed head on, the bed is sidewise along the right. The back wall has the bathroom door, and then the left wall has her closet.
So Penny’s looking through her closet, while Bernadette and Amy are on her bed, and Penny asks where they’re going dancing. Bernadette says they were hoping she might know a place. Amy says one full of beautiful, sweating bodies that are dancing together in a giant orgy. Penny says she knows the place.
Penny pulls out a dress and asks what they think. Amy says that it will show enough cleavage to attract both men and hungry babies. Penny says that she’s not planning on hooking up with a guy. Bernadette says but you could if you wanted to, right? And Penny says sure. Bernadette says and then you could bring him home, and the next morning send him away with a smile on his face, and teeth marks on his butt.
Amy asks what that’s like. Penny (now changing in the bathroom) says it’s fun at the time, but then later you’re full of guilt and self-loathing. Bernadette says she’ll still take that all day long. Penny says that this is the first time in her life that she’s single and happy about it, and she doesn’t need a guy. Amy says that if this is Penny’s first time being single, Amy has some advice to give about relieving stress by oneself; to start with, she asks if Penny has an electric toothbrush. Penny says no, and Amy tells her to get one.
Bernadette asks what Amy’s looking at, and Amy says it appears something is preserved on the slide. Penny says that’s the snowflake (!!!) that Leonard brought back from the arctic. Bernadette says that’s romantic, and Penny, now out of the bathroom, says yeah, it was. Bernadette says Leonard’s really one of a kind, and Amy says that’s really heavy handed to say while holding a snowflake.
Penny asks if she can see it, and looks at it thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then she puts it on the bed, and says what the hell, she can deal with some self-loathing, let’s go find a guy. Then it was changed to find a butt to bite. Amy says great, and if she doesn’t find someone, they can go pick her out an electric toothbrush; Amy calls hers Gerard.
First Amy was saying her toothbrush line as they left Penny’s room, but then they changed it so she said it walked from Penny’s room to the front door (so they moved over to the regular set for her apartment). As they walked out the front door, Bernadette said something about how weird that was (that Amy named her toothbrush).
Scene 10 - Guys’ apartment
Kripke and Zack are very enthusiastically singing a song, while Sheldon sits unhappily in his spot. Stuart comes down the hall, a towel around his waist and one on his dead, dancing a little to the music, then asked Sheldon if anyone had sang Walking on Sunshine yet. Sheldon said no, and Stuart called dibs. Then instead of asking about the song, it was changed to Stuart telling Sheldon that he’s out of conditioner, and he probably shouldn’t use his face towel.
Stuart goes to get a beer from the fridge, and joins in on Kripke and Zack’s song. Sheldon says that he’s still not having any fun, then gets up to leave.
Scene 11 - Raj’s apartment
Priya asks, so Sheldon really bought a loom and started weaving? Leonard says yeah, he actually got pretty good at it, he made them all serapes. Raj says he still wears his when it gets nippy. Priya asks if this was before or after the 25 cats. Leonard says a long time before - around the time that Sheldon tried to make their apartment a sovereign country; he still has some of the currency.
Then Sheldon’s knocking at the door, saying “all my friends,” between each knock. Howard says it’s like Beetlejuice, they said his name too many times. Raj lets him in, and Leonard tells Sheldon he thought he was hanging out with his new friends. Sheldon said he had to leave, it turned into a party. Then Sheldon’s line was changed to saying they were having fun wrong.
Priya pats the space on the couch between her and Leonard, and tells Sheldon to join them; he does. She asks if he’d like some chili, and he asks if it has beans in it. It does, and he says then that’s not real chili. Priya asks if he wants some or not, and he says yes, then tells Leonard that his girlfriend has a short temper.
Raj proposes a toast to friends, and they drink to it. Sheldon asks Priya if she knows where the term toast comes from. She says actually she does, and says the ancient Romans used to put spiced toast in their punch. Sheldon tells Leonard that his girlfriend’s a know-it-all too.
Scene 12 - Guys’ apartment
Kripke, Stuart, and Zack are singing Walking on Sunshine (Kripke still in just the towels). Levar Burton opens the door, unnoticed, watches for a few seconds, then decides he’s not staying. As he walks down the stairs, he says that he’s done with twitter.
After the taping I got autographs from Kunal, Kevin Sussman, and John Ross Bowie. Kunal told me "good to see you again," so I guess he does recognize me!
And my interaction with John was something like this:
John: What's your name?
John: Didn't I do a Roxanne joke on the show once?
Me: Yeah, you did.
John: So you know there's only one way I can sign this, right? Is that okay?
Me: Yeah, totally, that's awesome!
Of course, he signed it to "Woxanne."