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Old 01-19-2011, 01:32 AM
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Tonight's episode is called "The Benefactor Factor."

The usual request - please don't copy and past elsewhere; link to the forum if you want to share.

Scene 1 - Cafeteria

The four guys are sitting at a table. Raj has a question about zombies - if there’s no human flesh to eat, do they starve to death? Even though they’re already dead? Howard tells Leonard that he can answer this one - Howard spent an hour the previous night on how vampires can shave if they can’t see themselves in the mirror. Sheldon says that obviously two vampires get together and shave each other, case closed.

Raj still wants to know about the zombies. Leonard asks if they’re fast or slow zombies, and says that the zombies in 28 Days starved and died if they didn’t eat. Howard corrects him that it’s 28 Days Later, 28 Days was a Sandra Bullock film in which she put the audience into an undead state. Raj tells Howard to stop the digs on Sandra Bullock - he’s trying to sound cultured, but he just sounds bitchy (?).

Then they notice that Siebert, the university president, is in the cafeteria, and are wondering why he’s there. Sheldon says that maybe he’s doing like Shakespeare’s King Henry V did, when he dressed like a commoner and went among out the people to find out what they thought of him. On later takes, Sheldon’s line was extended to also include him saying that Siebert wouldn’t need to do that if he’d just read the multitudes of emails that Sheldon has sent him.

Raj says that maybe it’s cause it’s Tater Tot Tuesday, then adds that’s why he’s there. Then Siebert comes up and greets the guys, placing a hand on Sheldon’s and Leonard’s shoulders, and asks how their day is going. Sheldon says that depends on how much longer Siebert will be molesting his shoulder. Siebert says he’d forgotten that Sheldon had a touch phobia. Sheldon says it’s not a phobia of touch, it’s a germ phobia.

Siebert lets go, then asks the guys if they’d like to go to a party that weekend - good food, open bar, and possibly some hot women. Leonard, Raj, and Howard are all up for it, but Sheldon says wait, just because the nice man offers you candy doesn’t mean you should get in the windowless van with him. Sheldon asks what the occasion is, and Siebert says it’s fundraising; Sheldon says there’s the tear stained mattress in the back of the van.

Siebert says that he understands Sheldon’s reluctance, but at some point it’s necessary for everyone to shake some hands and kiss some buts to raise money. Sheldon says that that’s humiliating and degrading, and he will not be paraded around like a prize pig at the Texas State Fair - which, by the way, he says one should never attend while wearing a Star Trek Ensign uniform.

Siebert tells Sheldon that he will put on a suit, come to the party, and talk about his research to the donors, or he’ll blind him with a red hot spoon like they did to that boy in Slumdog Millionaire. Raj quickly shakes his head and warns Sheldon that he doesn’t want that. Siebert leaves, and Raj excitedly say, yay, party! Then his line was changed to something like “Tater tots and a party invitation, what a great day!”

Scene 2 - Guys’ apartment

Penny’s helping Leonard with his tie, then pats it and says she’s done. Leonard looks down, and the part that hangs in the back is really long and hanging below the front part. He asks if she’s sure that it’s right, and she says it’s fine, just tuck the back part in his pants.

Leonard’s tucking it in when Raj and Howard come in, and Howard says let’s go kiss some old, rich tuckus. The first time they did this Kunal didn’t shut the door all the way behind them, so it swung back open, and then he joked “I don’t even have any lines in the scene, and I can’t even shut the door.”

Penny tells Howard, your girlfriend can’t possibly be letting you go to this party wearing a dickie. Howard says don’t be ridiculous, Bernadette doesn’t pick his clothes… his mom does. Leonard calls for Sheldon so they can leave, but Sheldon walks in wearing his regular clothes, and says he’s not going.

Leonard asks him what he should tell Siebert. Sheldon says to tell him that he decided a better use of his intellect would be staying home and tearing the mask off of nature, and looking God straight in the eye. Penny tells him it’s Saturday, he’ll be doing laundry. Sheldon says don’t tell him that, tell him the mask thing!

Scene 3 - Party

Leonard, Howard, and Raj all enter the party, which is being held at Mrs. Latham’s fancy home. Howard nudges Leonard and tells him to tuck his tie back into his pants. Raj looks around and says that it reminds him of his family’s home in India. Howard asks, really? Raj says yes, the only difference is his family has more servants. They have more than they know what to do with - in India they don’t let poor people have dreams.

Siebert sees them and greets them, then asks where Dr. Cooper is. Leonard tells him he’s tearing the mask off of nature and looking God in the eye. Siebert says that the board of directors says that Sheldon’s a beautiful mind, but he just thinks he’s bananas. Then he tells the guys he’ll introduce them to one of their biggest benefactors, and leads them across the room. As they follow, passing lots of elderly people, Raj says that he thinks they were misled about the pretty girls.

They’re introduced to Mrs. Latham (Jessica Walter), and Siebert names them as Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Dr. Rajesh Koothrapoli, and Howard Wolowitz. Latham asks Howard, couldn’t stick it out to get your PhD? Howard explains that he’s an engineer, and most engineers don’t get bother to get their doctorate.

On the first take, Latham handed him her drink and asked him to get a refill. Then it was changed to after Howard says that most engineers don’t get their doctorate, he tells her that she might be interested to know that he built the zero-gravity waste disposal system that was used by NASA. Latham said, so you’re a space plumber. Howard says he’s going to check out the bar, and walks away.

Latham asks Siebert to tell him about “these two,” and Raj quickly says, “Do him first!” pointing to Leonard. Liebert tells her that Leonard is representing their experimental physicist department, and he’s sure she’ll enjoy hearing about the fascinating work that he does. Latham turns to Leonard and says “fascinate me.”

Leonard stutters, at a loss for words, and after a few seconds she interrupts and says she’ll make this easy on him, and asks what machine he turns on when he first gets to work. He says, uh, the coffee maker. Then I think she turned to Raj, but he says he needs to go use the bathroom (?).

Scene 4 - Guys’ apartment (pre-taped)

Sheldon is video chatting with Amy, telling her how he refused to go to the party, and did a load of whites instead. She says that while normally she would support his decision to stick it to the man, she’s afraid he might be mistaken in this case.

He asks how, and she basically tells him that everyone needs to suck up to get donations, and that’s how she got some lab equipment after she visited some Middle East country. Sheldon asks, you have a benefactor over there? She says technically he’s her fiance, but she has her equipment, and a place to stay over there.

There was more to the conversation, a lot of back and forth, but that’s the gist of it, and about all I can remember since we just saw it once.

Scene 5 - Party

Leonard, Howard, and Raj are getting food. Leonard says that the good thing is at least Seibert won’t be asking them to come to anymore of these parties. Howard says that his Bar Mitzvah was much easier - the old people came up, kissed his cheeks, and handed him the savings bond. Raj tells them to stop being such grumpy guses, and look at the size of these shrimp! He holds on up, and asks at what point they stop being shrimp and start being crab.

Leonard says they need to face it, they messed everything up. Latham suddenly walks up and gets some food herself, telling Leonard not to worry, he wasn’t that bad. Leonard tells her that when he first gets to work in the morning he turns on the [name of machine] first because it needs to warm up, but she interrupts and tells him that she doesn’t care anymore, but so he knows she did enjoy meeting him.

Leonard asks, confused, that was good for you? She says yes, she enjoys making smart people feel ill at ease. He asks why, and she says it’s one of the fun things she can do with money, then tells him to watch. She says to Raj, sternly, “Who told you you could eat that shrimp?” And Raj freezes and spit’s the shrimp in his mouth back onto his place. Latham looks back at Leonard and says, see, fun!

In the back of the room Sheldon has just entered, and is telling two people, no, he doesn’t want to shake their germy hands, he just wants their money, and then tells Seibert (who’s standing right next to them) to explain it to them.

Scene 6 - Guys’ apartment

It’s the next morning, Sheldon’s sitting at the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereal, talking to Siebert on the phone. Sheldon tells him that he’s not making any sense, first he’s telling Sheldon he has to come to the fundraising parties, then he’s telling him to stay far away from him - that’s a mixed message. As Leonard walks in and fixes his coffee, Sheldon tells Siebert that he’s doing it again, if he (Sheldon) is impossible to talk to, then why did Siebert call him? Then Sheldon tells him that he’s got a call on the other line, maybe Siebert can organize his thoughts and they can try this another time.

After the first take, Jim was having some trouble with his first lines when they did it again, and needed at least a few different takes. After one of them, Johnny (who had still been waiting around the corner in the hallway for his entrance) popped into the living room and said, “That one was my fault.”

Sheldon switches to the other line, and it’s Mrs. Latham. He says, yes, he remembers her, the woman past her prime who’s trying to boost her social status by donating her late husband’s ill-gained money. Then he asks how much she’s going to give him. A pause, then he says he’s not crazy, his mother had him tested.

At some point when he’s on the phone, Johnny was stepping away from the counter, but the cord on his robe hooked onto one of the counter drawers, and pulled it open. Johnny joked that he was magnetic.

Turns out she wants to talk to Leonard, so Sheldon hands over the phone, and mutters “who’s crazy now.” Leonard takes it, and after a pause says yes, he lives with Sheldon… he’s not really sure why. Then after another pause he asks, tonight?, and then tells her that sounds good. When he hangs up, he tells Sheldon that she wants to have dinner with him to further discuss his research work.

Sheldon asks, your work? “Where are you going to eat, the drive through at Jack in the Box?” Leonard says he doesn’t know where they’re going, but she’s going to send him a car. Sheldon says it doesn’t make sense, why would she want to talk to him?

Leonard reminds him that Sheldon’s not the only accomplished scientist in the apartment, and lists some of his achievements. Sheldon says no, that can’t be it. Then Sheldon says he’s got it - she was intimidated by his stature, and is using Leonard to get to him. And Sheldon adds that Leonard lives with him cause they’re best buddies/friends.

There was part of the scene they did quite a few times… They started with Sheldon’s line right before Leonard says he’s not the only scientist in the apartment, but Jim messed it up a couple times. Then Johnny kept messing up his line. After a couple takes, Johnny said that this was going to be the sweetest cup of coffee (since he kept adding more sugar to it during this part of the scene). Then Johnny messed it up again, and drop the f-bomb. Then he messed up again, and just muttered gibberish.

Scene 7 - Inside a limo (reenacted for us)

Leonard and Mrs. Latham are sitting in the back of the limo, Leonard holding a doggy bag. He says dinner was great, and says he normally only eats that well when his mother’s in town. Then he says that she actually reminds him of his mother, she likes to make people feel ill at ease too.

Latham says that he reminds her of a guy she dated in college - smart, funny… too bad he wasn’t rich. Leonard says speaking of money, where’s she standing on the donation to the department? She says that he made a good case, and she’s strongly considering moving to the next level. He says good, but then asks confused, next level?

She grabs his face and kisses him, while he just sits there stunned. She pulls back, he says she’s not reminding him of his mother anymore, and then she kisses him again.

Scene 8 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon, Penny, Raj, and Howard are watching a movie. Sheldon leans over to Penny and asks, so eventually zombies will invade the rehab center where Sandra Bullock is? Penny nods and tells him yeah, just keep watching. Sheldon says that’s a shame, after all the effort she’s putting into being sober.

Leonard walks in, and Howard asks him how the dinner went. Leonard says swell, and he needs a drink. He walks towards the kitchen and asks if they have any alcohol. Sheldon says no, but they do have potatoes, he can make him vodka; it’ll take two weeks. Penny asks, concerned, if Leonard’s okay.

He says he’s not sure. He tells them that Lathan told him she was seriously considering making the donation (the other guys are excited at this), and then she stuck her tongue down his throat. Sheldon asks, why would she do that? On the first take, Penny said, “Clearly she was - she did what?” Then it was changed to Penny telling Sheldon that he really needed to read that book that they bought him.

Leonard says that she hit on him. Howard says, “So an old woman wants to have sex with you in exchange for millions of dollars? You lucky duck.”

Leonard says that he was able to get out of the car before anything happened, but now she wants to have dinner with him again tomorrow. Sheldon asks, what are you going to wear? Leonard asks, what? Sheldon tells Penny that she’s an expert at exchanging sex for material goods, so walk Leonard through this. Leonard says that he’s not going to sleep with Latham.

Sheldon tells him that they need this new equipment, and this could be his once chance to make a big contribution to science. Leonard repeats that he’s not sleeping with her, and walks down the hall to his room. Penny asks Sheldon what that was about exchanging sex for goods, and Sheldon tells her that it was a compliment - he believes in giving credit where credit is due.

Scene 9 - Guys’ apartment, next night

Sheldon’s on the phone, and says yes, he’ll tell him, then hangs up and yells to Leonard that the car is waiting for him. Leonard walks in, and tells Sheldon that he won’t be home late, he’s just going to make one final pitch for the equipment.

Sheldon hands him a small black bag that he says he’ll need to take - it has oil, condoms, and something from the pharmacology department that they said is to Viagra what Viagra is to an M&M. Leonard again insists that he’s not going to sleep with her, he’s not going to prostitute himself. As he leaves and goes down the stairs, Sheldon follows and yells after him, saying that he inflicts enough self-damage on himself, he should use his genitals for science.

Penny opens her door, and says to Sheldon across the hall, he still won’t sleep with her? Sheldon says no, but thanks her for asking.

Scene 10 - Limo (again, reenacted)

Leonard climbs into the limo to sit next to Letham. She says she hopes he’s hungry, and he says he is, and then quickly adds for food. She realizes that she’s made him uncomfortable after the previous night, and assures him that she’s making the donation, no matter what happens between them tonight.

He asks, really? And she says yes, he made a good case for it, and they’re doing good work. Leonard relaxes, relieved. After a pause, she tells him that he would have remembered a night with her for the rest of his life. At first he just nods and says he’s sure he would, but then he asks why.

She asks how he thinks she married a man with so much money, and he says he never really thought about it. She tells him to think about it now, so he does, and I think he asks something like, “That good?” and she nods. So then Leonard’s like, why not, and starts kissing her.

Scene 11 - Hallway/guys’ apartment

Next morning, Leonard’s wearily walking up the stairs, his clothes all sloppy. Penny comes out of her apartment, sees him and smiles, and says, “Good morning, ****.” I think Leonard tried to deny it, but she tells him please, she’d recognize the walk of shame anywhere - all he’s missing is smudged mascara, and a purse with balled up underwear in it.

Sheldon then opens the door and asks what’s going on. Leonard says nothing, and walks past him towards his room. Sheldon asks if he’s just getting home, and Leonard says yeah. Sheldon confirms with Penny that that’s a good thing, then turns to Leonard and says excitedly, “I’m so proud of you!”

Leonard says he didn’t do it for the money, and Sheldon asks, “She stiffed you?” Penny says no, she thinks that’s what his roommate did to her. Sheldon asks, what? And Penny tells him again that he really needs to read that book.

Leonard says that he got the money first. Sheldon tells him that was smart, get the money upfront, and says Leonard’s got a real knack for the sex trade/being a gigolo. Leonard says he’s going to his room to rest, and as he leaves Sheldon yells after him good, he needs to rest up, there are a lot of old rich women out there.

Then Sheldon turns to Penny and says that Leonard learned something from his relationship with her after all. Penny throws up her arms and says, hey! Sheldon tells her that was another compliment, she needs to learn to recognize them.

Scene 12 - Cafeteria

Leonard walks into the cafeteria, and Siebert makes a big deal out of it, saying he’s the man of the hour and congratulating him. Leonard tries saying that he didn’t do it for the money, but Siebert tells him to keep telling himself that, it makes things easier, he knows. A crowd forms around Leonard as everyone happily congratulates him, while Leonard’s just annoyed by it all.
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