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ITA! I love how even the villains on this show have redeemable qualities and backstories to get interested in. What's fascinating is that these people are VAMPIRES. Like Damon has said, it's their natural instinct to kill and drink blood so when they DO, it's easier to forgive considering what they are. I feel like the vampires on this are very likeable for the most part and that probably has a lot to do with the idea that they can hold on to their humanity, if they choose to. What scares me is how easily they can turn it off too... But it also keeps things interesting.
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From am evolutionary stand point, baby vamps being able to shut down their emotions make sense. The need to view their fellow humans as food, so they will eat and continue live. Rose makes it a point to say the switch stops working after a few years. I don't think it takes 500 years for the switch to stop working completely. I would image the switch starts to go haywire after about thirty or forty years. Just because I vampire turns their switch on doesn't mean certain individuals won't affect them. Isobel is the closest vampire we have been show to operate with her switch turned off, but Alaric and Elena were still able to penetrate her walls. Katherine who is supposed to be one of baddest of the bad, runs home to find her family even when they kicked her out. Their death, devastated Katherine and this was when her switch should have been fully working. If she wanted too, she could have shut down her feelings about her family.
The show has even said new vampires are extra emotional, so it makes sense that they can't turn their feelings off for important people in their lives, but can turn their switch on for people they don't have a close bound with and consider food.
Plus, I think newly turned vampires kill their victims shed some light onto what type of people they are. Caroline who is a good person drained Carter because she could smell his blood and was hungry. She never meant to cause him any pain, her hunger took over. I think if a vampire really enjoyed torturing their victims than it would show them in a negative light. Their actions can't be excused by simple hunger. Now they get off on just causing pain for the sake of pain.
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" “Darling, I don't want you; I've got no place for you; I only want what you give. I don't want the whole of anyone.... What you want is the whole of me-isn't it, isn't it?-and the whole of me isn't there for anybody. In that full sense you want me I don't exist.”.