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Old 08-18-2010, 12:15 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
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I got back a little after 10 (it was another fairly early taping again, ended at maybe 9:15?), but just finished typing everything up:

The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Scene 1 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon has a few different white boards set up, various equations and charts written on them. Leonard comes in and asks what he’s doing - is he planning a trap for the Road Runner?

Sheldon turns and asks if that’s supposed to imply that he’s the Coyote. Leonard says yes. And the equations on the board are for a large bird trap? Yes. And it will backfire and cause him physical harm? Yes. Sheldon forces a laugh (on the first take informing Leonard that was a pity laugh), then explains that he’s examining his family history to try to determine how long he will live. Leonard says that a lot of people are working on that.

Leonard points to a chart and asks what it is. Sheldon says it’s his family tree, with how people died, to see what unfortunate traits he might inherit. Leonard asks what “KBB” means next to Sheldon’s uncle. Sheldon informs him that it stands for “killed by badger.” It was Thanksgiving, and his uncle said, “I think there’s a badger living in our chimney. Give me the flashlight.” And that was the last thing he said to them.

Leonard says he doubts being killed by a badger is something that’s hereditary. Sheldon says that on the contrary, the flight or fight instinct is hereditary, and how does he know what he’ll do if he were to face a badger? Leonard says they could always get a badger to find out.

Sheldon says that even without the badger factor, the longest he has left to live is only 60 years. Leonard asks, “That long?” Sheldon points out on a timeline where his 60 years ends, and it’s just short of the earliest point where man is likely to achieve singularity - the possibility of putting your human conscious into a robotic body to live forever.

Leonard asks, aw, and you miss that? Sheldon nods, holding up his index finger and thumb so they’re very close together, and says, “By this much.” Sheldon laments that there’s so much he’s going to miss out on, listing a couple of things, and then mentioning the dogopus.

Leonard asks what’s a dogopus? Sheldon says a hybrid of a dog and octopus - underwater man’s best friend. Leonard asks, “Is someone working on that?” Sheldon says he was going to; it was going to be his present to himself for his 300th birthday. Leonard says, I thought you didn’t like dogs. On the first take, Sheldon says true, but he likes dogopi. On the second take, instead Sheldon says a dogopus can play fetch with eight balls at once, how can you not like that?

Scene 2 - Guys’ apartment, later

Leonard, Penny, Howard, and Raj are around the coffee table, Leonard opening a box of pizza and handing out slices. Howard asks what they owe him; Leonard says it was about 28 bucks, so 6 dollars each. Howard and Raj pull out cash to hand to Leonard, who takes it and then turns to Penny, who looks at him blankly and asks “What?”

On the first take, Johnny was like, “I - I - I - I don’t know.” And Kaley asked him if she’d distracted him with how she’d frozen with the pizza slice near her face, and he sort of laughed and nodded.

But Leonard’s response is, oh, never mind, it’s cool, I’ll cover it. And Penny said no, they’re not dating anymore, she should pay her share.

Raj whispers something to Howard, who laughs, and tells them that Raj said if he had women parts, he wouldn’t pay for anything for the rest of his life. Penny says yeah, but then you wouldn’t be able to talk to yourself.

Penny pulls out her wallet and says she’s a little short on cash. Leonard asks her how much she has, she says nothing. He asks how does she walk around with no money? She shrugs and says she’s cute, she gets by. Then I think Leonard says it’s fine, she can pay him later.

At one point between takes in this scene, I *think* I heard Kaley say, “Damn you, Wil Wheaton.” I’m not 100% sure, cause she was hard to hear, but that’s what I heard at least.

Sheldon comes to join them, with a bowl of vegetables, and tells them that he won’t be eating pizza tonight. Penny says, but it’s Thursday night. Sheldon says that Thursday night is no longer pizza night, it’s cruciferous vegetable night, starting with Brussels sprouts. Howard makes a comment about Sheldon’s really going to change his Sheldonian Calendar? And Sheldon says yes, it’s worth it.

Penny asks why, and the other guys immediately start being all, “Why did you ask?” and she’s like, “Sorry, sorry, sorry!!” Sheldon explains how he’s trying to extend his life so he can live until they can put his consciousness into a robot, only in his explanation he doesn’t say “robot.” Penny asks, “That means robot, right?” Sheldon confirms, then Penny asks something like, “So you want to put your brain into a robot?” Sheldon again says yes. Then Penny says, “Ok, here’s my question, didn’t you already do that?”

Sheldon says that’s flattering, but no. And I think he mentions the change in his diet again, and how he’s going to start jogging. Penny asks him if he’s ever ran. He says yes, from bullies, dogs, and angry chickens. And once from a PE teacher who was wanting him to bend over so he could check him for scoliosis.

On the first take Jim messed up his line here, so they stopped, and then the director said, “From Kaley,” right before action. Which Kaley wasn’t expecting, so she turned as was like, “Kaley? Uh, what?”

Raj whispers to Howard, who says, that’s right, Penny jogs, you can go running with her. Sheldon says that’d be great, and they can talk and it will seem like time’s going faster. Penny says, “No it won’t.”

Then she turns to Howard and Raj, and asks how Raj knew that she jogged. Howard tells her that Raj watches her from his car, with special binoculars. Penny’s disgusted, and says (in a high voice), “That’s sick!” Howard nods, saying “I know!” in the same high voice. Raj is shaking his head, and quickly tries to whisper to Howard again, who looks shocked and says, “And he says he’s not going to stop!” Raj tries to whisper again, and then Howard tells him something like, “Then go to a psychiatrist so you can finally talk in front of women!”

Scene 3 - Leonard’s room that night

Leonard’s sleeping. Sheldon knocks at his door, but instead of saying, “Leonard” between each knock, he groans. Leonard gets up and answers the door; Sheldon’s holding his stomach, saying he has a pain from his navel down his right side, and he’s nauseas and feverish, and he thinks he has cholera.

Leonard tells him that there’s no cholera in Pasadena, just like last summer there was no malaria in Pasadena. Sheldon says well then according to his quick internet search, the other possibilities are… and he lists a couple of diseases, and ends with accidental ingestion of chrysanthemum (?) leaves. Leonard asks how could he have eaten chrysanthemum leaves. Sheldon says it involves the unlikely scenario including sleepwalking, a 24-hour flower shop, and an inattentive shop owner.

Sheldon groans in pain again, and Leonard asks him if he’s had his appendix out. Sheldon says no, he’s been meaning to have it out, but who has the time? Leonard says they’re going to the hospital, and starts to get dressed. Sheldon says that his body’s turning against him, just as he’s started to take steps to lengthen his life. He asks Leonard if he knows what the appendix’s original purpose was. Leonard says he doesn’t know. Sheldon laments that he does know, and he’s the one who’s going to die.

They go out into the hallway (now out of the camera shot from Leonard’s room), and Sheldon says that it’s going to burst - and then there’s the sound of flatulence. And Leonard says Sheldon’s name all exasperated.

Cut to a shot of them standing in the hallway, Sheldon now fully upright and no loner in pain. Sheldon comments that maybe it was the Brussels sprouts. Leonard says goodnight and goes back into his room, slamming the door. Sheldon mutters to himself, “Appendicitis, what a nervous Nancy,” before going back into his room.

Scene 4 - apartment hallway

Sheldon jogs from his door to Penny’s, knocking on hers as he continues to jog in place. He’s wearing a Flash t-shirt, shorts, and has an iPod and some other band wrapped around his arm.

Penny opens the door, looks at him, and says, “Nice knees.” He says, thanks, they’re his mom’s. She joins him in the hallway, and he asks her where’s her heart rate monitor, and pedometer, and she says she doesn’t have any of that stuff. He asks what, you just ramble around like a bunny rabbit? On the first take I think she just said something like yeah, try to keep up. On the second take she said, “Usually I just run until I get hungry, then stop for a bear claw.”

She’s stretching her arms, and Sheldon asks what she’s going. She tells him it’s good to stretch before a run. She says they can start with a toe touch, and she bends over to touch her toes. Sheldon looks at her, sticks out his arms straight at an angle towards the floor, and leans forward just a little bit. She tells him to try, he says he is.

So she stands up, says okay, can you do this? And she lifts up one leg behind her and holds her foot in her hand, and with her other hand reaches up and forward. Sheldon says something like “We’ll never know.” Then Penny’s like okay, never mind, we’ll warm up as we run. So they start to run down the stairs, and Sheldon starts to tell her something about the research he’s done with the robots, but as they turn the corner he trips and falls, and they both yell as they fall, and then there’s the sound of flatulence again. Penny’s yells, “Sheldon!” And he tells her if it helps, Thursday will no longer be Brussels sprouts day.

Scene 5 - Guys’ apartment

Leonard, Penny, Howard, and Raj once again around the table, and Leonard’s pulling out different Indian dishes and handing them to the appropriate person. Then he says, “And for Rajesh Koothrappali, from whose homeland we’re getting these dishes, a large order of chicken nuggets,” and pulls out a McDonald’s bag.

Penny asks Leonard what she owes, and he says about 12 dollars. She asks if she can pay him after Friday when she gets her paycheck, and he says that’s fine. She asks what she’s up to now. He says between the pizza, the Indian food, the tank of gas, the frozen yogurt, and her rent… about fourteen hundred dollars.

Raj whispers to Howard again, and Penny looks and them and asks what now. Howard says Raj was just impressed that she still gets things for free and she doesn’t even have to put out anymore. Penny and Leonard glare at them, and Penny says that it’s not free, she’s going to pay Leonard back. Raj starts to whisper again, but Penny gets annoyed and yells “Shut up!”

Leonard turns and calls down the hallway to ask Sheldon if he’s going to join them. In response a robot-type thing rolls down the hallway, and down a little ramp to stop next to them by the table. It’s basically a thin TV screen on top of a pole, with wheels at the base, and one of Sheldon’s t-shirts is hanging from the screen, which is displaying video of Sheldon’s face (from the background, you can tell he’s in his room).

Sheldon informs them that he’s decided that his physical body is no longer safe, and so he’s created this virtual mobile device to interact with them instead, while he remains in a secret safe place. Raj whispers to Howard, who turns to him and says, “All that and you’re asking when he put the ramp in?”

Sheldon’s robot rolls up to Penny (who’s sitting in his spot), and tells her she’s in his spot, and after glaring at him on the screen she gives in and scoots over.

Scene 6 - Guys’ apartment, slightly later

They’re all eating their food, with Sheldon’s robot standing in front of his spot. He tells them that it may seem strange, but soon they’ll get used to it. Penny says that she really can’t tell much of a difference. On the first take, Sheldon said, “That’s the spirit!” On the last I think he said, “That’s what I was going for.”

Then Sheldon!robot turns to Leonard, and tells him that in the morning when they leave for work, Leonard will have to allow extra time to carry him down the stairs, but for his convenience he breaks apart into four parts. Leonard says this is ridiculous, and he’s going to go talk to Sheldon. Sheldon says you can’t, you don’t know where I am. Leonard says yes he does, he’s in his room. Sheldon says, “You don’t know that.” Leonard says, “I can hear your voice from your room.” Sheldon pauses, then says, in a softer voice, “No you can’t.”

Leonard stands up and goes down the hallway. Sheldon!robot follows, saying, “Stop! Halt! Authorized personal only!”

Penny and the other guys watch them leave. Then Penny turns to them and asks, “Do either of you weirdos want to buy a pair of my underwear? Only fourteen hundred bucks.” Howard and Raj laugh a little, but then pause as they consider it, and Raj starts to dig out his wallet.

Between takes Kaley, Simon, and Kunal were all eating a lot of their food. And at one point they got in some lively conversation that I couldn’t hear, but I did hear Simon say something about “cowboy sequence,” and Kaley was laughing a lot.

The next few scenes (6 - 9) were all pre-taped and shown to us on the monitor; Bill Prady stopped by the explain that it was because there was only so much they could do with the robot live.

Scene 6 - Sheldon’s room

Leonard walks into Sheldon’s room to find him on his bed with his laptop, Sheldon!robot following close behind. Leonard tries to say something, but Sheldon’s like, “I’m behind you,” and moves the robot around in front of Leonard, and adds, “Pay no attention to the man on the bed.”

Leonard tells him that this is ridiculous, and he’s not going to help him at work. Sheldon tells him that he has to, it’s part of the roommate agreement. Then he types something and the roommate agreement pops up on the robot’s screen, with a section highlighted, which Sheldon reads from. Leonard looks at it, and says, “Well I’ll be damned.”

I think there was a little more to this scene, but that’s all I can remember.

Scene 7 - Leonard’s car

Leonard is driving to work, robot!Sheldon in the passenger seat. The monitor turns from side to side, and Sheldon comments that the scenery is much more enjoyable when there’s no fear of a fiery car crash. Leonard asks himself why didn’t he put Sheldon in the trunk; Sheldon says that he called shotgun.

There’s a bit of conversation, with Sheldon comparing the two of them (plus Sheldon’s new enhanced abilities) to some TV show, and Sheldon notices that Leonard seems tense. He changes the screen to a video of women holding hands and dancing in a big circle, with recorder music playing in the background. Leonard tells him to stop it, and the video disappears to show Sheldon holding his recorder.

Sheldon does something else to annoy Leonard, who finally reaches out to turn a switch, turning the TV screen off. He smiles for a moment, happy, but then the screen turns back on, and Sheldon yells, bazinga! Leonard jumps, surprised, and I think says something about how he almost crashed, and Sheldon says that he’s still safe in his room, so he wins, or something like that.

Scene 8 - Cal Tech hallway

Leonard and Sheldon are walking/rolling down a hallway, with Sheldon greeting various faculty as they pass by. They get to Sheldon’s office and Sheldon rolls up to the door, then turns to Leonard and asks if he’ll be a dear and get the door. Leonard makes some comment about how Sheldon was bested by a doorknob, and refuses to open it for him.

Then Raj and Howard come up, and Sheldon asks them, and Raj opens the door so Sheldon can roll in. Raj then stands in the doorway and smiles as he looks at Leonard, saying, “I’m a dear.”

Scene 9 - Cheesecake Factory

Penny sort of groans when she sees them there with robot!Sheldon, and walks up and says, “Hi, my name’s Penny, I’ll be your waitress today.” Leonard asks why she’s introducing herself, she says that she doesn’t want anyone to know that she knows them.

Sheldon says… something, and Penny tells him that she’s not serving him. He says clearly she’s not, he doesn’t even have a glass of water yet. Sheldon ends up extending the monitor so it rises up above Penny, and turns it as he yells for the manager. As he’s doing that he notices Steve Wozniak on the other side of the restaurant.

Leonard starts to explain to Penny who he is, but she’s like, “Yeah, I know, I watch Dancing With the Stars.” Sheldon says that he needs to go meet him, so he rolls over to Steve’s table. Steve sees him, and compliments his mobile virtual device… whatever it’s called, but using the same words Sheldon had used earlier to describe it. Sheldon tells him that he’s number 15 of his list of something. Steve’s slightly insulted that he’s 15, but Sheldon assures him that he’s still 6 places above Steve Jobs.

They make fun of Jobs a little bit, one of the things they mention was not understanding the turtlenecks, and then Sheldon mentions how he still has some early Apple computer, whatever the model was. Steve tells him well if he had it there, he’d be happy to sign it. Sheldon pauses, then tells him to wait there for 15 - 30 minutes, depending on the bus schedule.

Then cut to a shot of Sheldon running out of his apartment, carrying the computer, hurrying down the stairs, but then he trips at falls at the end again.

Scene 10 - Apartment hallway

Robot!Sheldon crosses the hall to Penny’s door, run’s into the door, and says “Penny.” She answers, and he tells her that he’s hurt his ankle, and can’t get out of bed. She asks him what he wants, and he asks if she’ll sing soft kitty to him. She asks, to a robot? He tells her that she can come across and sing it to him in person if she wants.

So she quickly gives in and starts singing. (On the first take, Kaley hit a bad note about halfway through the first verse, then stopped and started laughing a bit at herself.) After the first verse, Sheldon tells her to sing closer to the microphone. So she leans in to continue, and he tells her to stop, and start from the beginning again.

She sighs, and starts over, and as she does he picks up his recorder and starts playing along, only slightly after her so it’s in a round. Jim was off the first time, so they had to do it again. And then when they finished, Kaley started laughing a little, and kissed Jim’s cheek on the monitor.
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Last edited by ennaxor; 08-19-2010 at 04:14 PM
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