Jackie: You know, this whole experience has taught me that I don't need Michael to go to the Prom. I can go with anyone, even you. Thanks.
(She kisses him on the cheek.)
Hyde: Okay, let's not do that.
Jackie: Sorry.

__________________________________________

Jackie: It's just that I always pictured Michael and I together at the prom. That's how it was supposed to be, you know?
Hyde: Yeah, I know. Well, hey, Pam's butt looks really big in that dress.
Jackie: No it doesn't.
Hyde: Yeah, no it doesn't.
Jackie: But thank you.

Jackie: You know it's weird, I though that after me and Michael broke up I wouldn't want to hang out here anymore.
Hyde: Yup, that's what we're hoping.
Jackie: But I think if I left you'd really miss me. Right?
Hyde: (coughs) Umm..I umm...suppose that, you know it's important when you have..uh...a bad breakup that you...uh..have friends to uh sympathetic...uh...stuff...umm...support and..uh..I don't know.
Jackie: Right, so let's go to the mall.
Hyde: No uh...I meant friends like Donna or...not me. (He walks into his room and Jackie follows)
Jackie: But I noticed you're alone a lot and I'm alone a lot, so let's be alone together!

__________________________________________

Hyde: Jackie I'm trying to help you out here, so you've gotta just listen to me. You have to know that you can do better than Kelso.
Jackie: But what if I never find anybody else?
Hyde: Oh, you will man, you'll find somebody great. See I myself...don't like you. I find you abrasive...but if I didn't know you and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.
Jackie: Thank you Hyde.
Hyde: Anything for you doll.

Hyde, Fez, Jackie and Eric are playing Monopoly
Jackie: Ooh! Now I've got Park Place and Boardwalk. This game is just like life! I am the richest of all.
Eric: Jackie I've got ninehundred and seventy dollars here, it's all yours if you just GO AWAY!
Hyde: Relax Forman. It's better then having Laurie down here. She's like a big cancerous tumor. And Jackie, she's like a tiny benign cyst.
Jackie:Thank you Hyde! (She hands him some Monopoly money) Here, buy yourself a hotel.

__________________________________________

Kelso and Laurie walk in
Laurie: Next time we go hiking make sure you bring a blanket. I think I have a twig in my shorts.
Hyde: What a coincidence, so does Kelso!
Jackie: BURN!
Kelso: Okay, okay, nice burn. Hi Jackie.
Jackie: Oh look, it is Michael and his community chest.
Hyde: Nice!

__________________________________________

Jackie: Well then what am I supposed to do?
Hyde: If you really want to get under her skin, you have to be Zen.
Jackie: Zen? Okay, you can't just make up words Hyde.
Hyde: No, man, Zen. At peace, aloof... Zen...
Jackie: Oh. Okay then, Hyde, will you teach me how to be Zen?
Hyde: You can't just teach someone to be Zen Jackie, you can only learn to be Zen.
Jackie: Okay, I don't understand.
Hyde: Exactly. And that's your first lesson.

Jackie: Look Hyde, I just wanted you to know that I'm not a square cheerleader. I am on the wrong side of the law. Because I have this (she holds a bag of weed)
Hyde: Oh no, a paper bag, run! (she opens the bag and he looks inside) Jackie!
Jackie: Oh yeah. I bought it. In the ghetto.
Hyde: Jackie, there is no ghetto here. I mean there's like that one house that needs to be painted.
Jackie: Okay fine, I bought it from my housekeeper. Whatever.
Hyde: So what are you saying? You wanne be like a burn-out now?
Jackie: No, no! Hyde, I just wanne be with you okay? I think you're one of the coolest, sweetest guys I've ever met.
Hyde: No you don't!
Jackie: Yes I do!

Jackie: You know, Steven. This hatred thing you have for me, is just you protecting yourself.
Hyde: Okay.
Jackie: It’s true. You’re afraid to reach the peaks of love, for fear of being dropped off a cliff. Well, I’m your safety line, Steven. So grab me.
Hyde: Go grab yourself, freak.

Jackie: Steven, what happened?!
Hyde: (looks at her, confused and starts muttering) What? Nothing. Just....somebody....and, then a guy....said...."bitch".....and it was nothing.
Jackie: Oh my god! He called me a bitch and you hit him and that's what happened, isn't it?
Hyde: (he stares at her with a guilty pause) No...
Jackie: Liar! I AM the bitch. And you LOVE me!

__________________________________________

Kitty: Oh, Steven, I saw what happened. Is your girlfriend okay?
Hyde: (stops short of the door and looks at her) My girlfriend?!
Kitty: Yeah, th-th-the bossy little mean one you're always hanging around with...oh, uh, Jackie.
Hyde: She's not my girlfriend.
Kitty: Are you sure...?
Hyde: Yes, I'm sure. I don't like her. She's shallow and rich and mean and bossy. She's everything that I hate.
Kitty: But Steven, you hate everything.
Hyde: What's that supposed to mean?
Kitty: Well, it means that...that maybe you like her cause...I kinda think you do-oo.
Hyde: No! How could I like her. Because I don't like her! Because I can't like her! Mrs. Forman, if I like her....shoot me.
Kitty: POW!!

Jackie: Huh. Ok, I didn't feel anything.
Hyde: (thinks about it for a moment and then looks at her) Nothing?
Jackie: No, I mean the kiss was hot, but....well, did you feel something?
Hyde: Uh.... (looks at her. Decisively) No....Well....? No.
Jackie: So....I guess that's it, then. Turns out you were right about us all along.
Hyde: Yep.

Only A FEW Of The Great Zen FanVids That Have Been Made;

The powers that be can take our finale, they can take our videos, but they will never take our zenlove!
The Last Remaining Survivors of the Blast!
You couldn't get us all!

Jealous Guy
Come On Closer
Little Wonders
Apologize
The Girl All The Bad Guys Want
Two Princes
Iris
Jackie's So Damn Hot
Cupid
Love How You Love Me
You've Got A Way
Lost In Love
None But The Rain
Far Away
Romeo and Juliet
Lose That Girl
Stolen
Life For Rent
Wonderwall
Goodbye My Lover
Easier To Lie
Who Knew
Brighter Than Sunshine
Read My Mind

Hyde: Finally.
Jackie: Yeah, I thought they'd never leave.
(They start making out)
Jackie: You know, Steven, it was really nice of you to get that ticket for Eric.
Hyde: This usually works a whole lot better when you don't talk.
(They go back to making out)

Jackie: Ok, look, Steven, these last few weeks with you have been really dirty and really wrong.
Hyde: Jackie, talking is for people who have something in common.
(They go back to making out)

__________________________________________

Kitty: Oh, good God! You kids switch partners more than square dancers!
Hyde: Um…no, it's not what you think! We're not together.
Kitty: Then what's going on in my kitchen?
Jackie: Um…Eric's in California.
(Kitty looks at them then storms off)
Hyde: Jackie, you just totally burned Forman. That was so badass
(They begin making out again.)

Jackie: Steven, that was way too close. You need to learn to keep your hands off me.
Hyde: Me? You're the one who can't keep her tongue to herself.
Jackie: Oh, please. I let you fool around with me out of pity.
Hyde: You know what your problem is? You're really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole.
Jackie: ...You think I'm cute?
Hyde: Shut your pie hole!
(They once again begin making out.)

Jackie: It was a few weeks after Donna and Michael left. And Steven invited me over to listen to a new record.
Fantasy sequence:
Hyde: I'm glad you're here. Check it out. (Holds up ABBA record and starts playing it, then speaks all excited and peppy.) Isn't it the coolest? Don't you just want to shake it?
(Jackie and Hyde begin disco dancing. The scene pauses as Hyde speaks.)
Hyde: Wait, time-out on the field. I don't shake it and I don't listen to ABBA.
Jackie: Whatever, it's my story. Anyway…
(Scene resumes with the disco dancing.)
Jackie: I could totally tell he was tryin' to make a move. Then he held me real close and said…
Hyde: May I kiss you, m'lady?
(Jackie nods and they kiss. End fantasy.)

__________________________________________

Donna: Hyde, I had no idea you could be so formal.
Hyde: Come on. She's so full of crap.
Eric: Well, then, why don't you tell us what really happened…m'lady?
Hyde: Fine. Fine. Ok? So, I'm hangin' out in the Basement like I usually do, when Jackie showed up. It was obvious she wanted me.
Jackie: I want you.
Hyde: It´s obvious.

__________________________________________

Jackie: That..that's crazy! No, no. You so came on to me first.
Donna: You know, you said that you didn't have a new boyfriend.
Jackie: He is not my boyfriend!
Hyde: I'm not her boyfriend! They just don't get it.
Jackie: No. Why would they? Let's go, baby.
(They get up and leave the basement.)
Eric: I'm leaving, too. This Basement is tainted for me now. (He leaves and Fez follows him.)
Donna: Well…I still want to know how the hell all this happened.

__________________________________________

TV Announcer: Evelyn Peabody! Come on down! You're the next contestant on "The Price is Right!"
Jackie: Another old lady. She can't even reach the wheel!
Hyde: I can't watch "The Price is Right" again. I just can't.
Jackie: This summer totally sucks. There's nothing to do.

(Jackie gets up and sits down by Hyde.)
Jackie: Steven, do I really sicken you?
Hyde: No. I sicken me because you're supposed to sicken me, but you don't.
Jackie: Well, I feel the same way. I mean, I like how scruffy you are.
Hyde: Of course you do. Man, you know what? Screw it. Let's just do what we want. Ok?
(He and Jackie kiss.)
Jackie: (Pulling back.) Ok. What about Michael?
Hyde: Details, baby, details.
(They kiss again.)

Jackie: Donna, what is with you?
Donna: Look, I'm sick of covering for your creepy, unnatural relationship, and I shouldn't have to. I mean, Hyde, you and Kelso have been friends forever, and you owe it to him to tell him.
Eric: Yeah, this is way worse than when you stole his headgear and used it to clean out your sink.
Hyde: It's tough love, man.
Donna: You know what? Forget it. You obviously don't care about Kelso or any of the rest of us.
Eric: Yeah, 'cause when this blows up, guess what, we're all screwed.
(Eric and Donna leave and Jackie turns to Hyde.)
Jackie: Steven…do you really think we're a creepy, unnatural couple?
Hyde: Come on. That's a crazy question. I mean, if this relationship wasn't just a little bit creepy and unnatural I wouldn't be in it.
(He smiles at Jackie and she smiles in return.)

Jackie: Hey.
Hyde: Hey.
Jackie: So, did you tell Michael yet?
Hyde: Oh. Yeah, well, I was gonna, but, you know, the timing just didn't seem right.
Jackie: Oh, I understand. I mean, it's kind of like...it's kind of like setting your hair. If you don't wait long enough, it's totally flat and blah...like Donna's. But if you wait just the right amount of time then it's perfect, like mine! Steven, are you even listening to me?
Hyde: God help me, I am.
Jackie: Oh, Steven.
(They kiss.)

(Fantasy sequence. Hyde and Jackie are dressed in Cheerleader getups in the Forman driveway practicing routines.)
Hyde & Jackie: 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate? Go team! Whoo!
Jackie: All right! Yeah!
Hyde: Jackie, I have the best piece of gossip. Eric Forman doesn't have any school spirit.
Jackie: I'm telling everyone!
Hyde: Too late! I already did!

(Superhero Secret Lair. Donna is sitting on Eric's lap. The Superheroes are all in a Circle.)
Donna: Does this outfit make my butt look fat?
Eric: No. You look…super. (They kiss.)
Kelso: So, uh, Wonder Boy and I are thinking about moving in together. My parents are gonna freak!
(Jackie and Hyde stop kissing.)
Hyde: You think your parents are gonna freak?
Jackie: Yeah, we're twins.

Jackie: Wait a minute. You're mad at me for telling Donna a secret? Steven, I tell secrets. It's who I am.
Hyde: Look, all I'm saying is if you're gonna be my girlfriend, you can't go running around shooting off your big, fat cheerleader mouth.
Jackie: You just called me your girlfriend.
Hyde: No, I didn't.
Jackie: Yes, you did.
Hyde: No, I didn't.
Jackie: Yes, you did.
Hyde: No, I didn't.
Jackie: Yes, you did, and shut up, you're ruining it. Okay, now listen to me. (Jackie moves to sit by him and puts one leg over his as she faces him.) I'll keep my mouth shut if you admit that I'm your girlfriend.
Hyde: No, the price is too high.
Jackie: Okay, fine. You know what? I'm telling everybody everything anyways...Starting with the fact that you called me your girlfriend.
Hyde: You're blackmailing me?
(Jackie nods and Hyde grins.)
Hyde: You're coming along nicely. (They kiss.)