Carrie: You broke up with James because he was too small. This guy's too big. Who are you, Goldicocks?
Samantha: Yep! I'm looking for one that's juuuust right.
Nurse: Do you swallow?
Samantha: Only when surprised.
Samantha: I'm so sick of these people with their children. I'm telling you, they're everywhere! Sitting next to me in first class, eating at the next table at John Schu— [A child runs by.] Look at that. This place is for double cappuccinos, NOT double strollers. [Glances at Miranda.] I'm sorry.
Miranda: Hey, no need to apologize. I wouldn't bring Brady here. Mommy needs two hands to eat her eight-dollar cake!
Charlotte: You're not going to defend children?
Miranda: No, I don't like any children but my own.
Female police officer: Ma'am, it's against city law to deface public property.
Samantha: This man said he loved me and I caught him eating another woman's pussy.
Female police officer: Carry on, ma'am.
Samantha: Well, let's just say it: you won.
Carrie: Was there a contest?
Samantha: Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."
Miranda: I do not have Steve. There is no having of the Steve. We're just friends.
Samantha: No, we're just friends. I don't put my d!ck in you.
OK I got a bit carried away
