M3

Oy, where to start...

Well, first, have to disagree on the virgin = no writing thing. I've never done "it", but I don't think I've written it too badly. I mean, most women haven't been with other women and they do femslash quite well because, well, we have the parts. We know how they work and what happens and how it feels. And for slash slash, there's lots of excellent stories out there to read.

If you can't buy erotica or watch porn or read dirty stories online, THEN don't write it. But unless I come out and say I've never been touched, most people assume I'm kinda... a **** [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

I just have a rich imagination [img]smilies/pout.gif[/img]

That being said, I've seen some people write who HAVE had sex and even I question how exactly that works. I mean, there's a limit to how people can bend.

As for the rest... I hate epics. Everyone thinks they have this brilliant idea or original character and write 14 chapters. Yawn. Or, they want to fill in what happened "after the cameras" and write 20 chapters. Most of it internal thought processes on life, love and crap. Total yawn. Epics bore my socks off. There's a reason why the SHOW is only half hour long. No one wants this much detail. That's why we have imaginations! I tried to read a story that started WITH original characters, read a chapter before I realized they were children of the canon characters, and got bored. And yet, there's still more being written. Save us.

This also ties in with next peeve [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

I wish more writers would try SHORT stories. SHORT SHORT stories. As in 1,000 words and less. Everyone complains that holds their story up, they can't write like that. Wah wah wah, you're over-indulged. Any moron with a keyboard can write back story and monologues. You need SKILLS to whittle it down to an actual point. Unfortunately, most epics don't have that, that I've read, it's all been angst for romance's sake.

But back to the short stories, you don't need ten pages of background scenes, you don't need internal dialogue, you just need to set a scene, have some speaking, and end it. I think truly good writers challenge themselves, and I think short short pieces are an excellent challenge. Find a point, write it as shortly as possible. Find a scene you want addressed, find a situation you want resolved and instead of filling the pages with nonsense, write ABOUT it. For once, for gods sake, PLEASE!

I dislike people jumping into a story with no precedent set, without even an Authors Note on when it should take place relative to canon. Why is this person staring with adoration when the character has NEVER given any inkling of this? Each story is a universe unto itself, you can't just assume that everyone will go "Oh yes, they love each other." No. You can't borrow from someone else's universe without letting the reader know.

You need to have at least a one line setup, "Set in Season Three based on Willow licking Xanders face." or "This is canon-tangent based on this scene in this episode." You can't throw a person in, no matter HOW big a fan of the couple, and expect them to buy it on face value. Even if it is based on something written by another fan, at least SAY "This story is a tangent based on BSLuver392's story called Blah Blah."

Spelling and grammar? Oy.

"Where" and "wear" are two different words. Is our school system in such a bad state that just because they sound alike they can be interchanageable? Also, "e" is a very important letter. It can change "fin" into "fine" and make you look like a moron if you use it in place of a "y". "Storie" is not a word. "Whish" is not a word. It makes you look like you are 13 when used!

And the worst part is you can't SAY any of this to the authors! You can't say "I didn't feel anything in your story because you didn't set it up properly." or "You really need to try buying a dictionary." or even "This story seems kinda boring, why did you think it should be written?" because they consider it PICKING on them.

I think if I have to waste my time reading something bad, then I should be allowed to say so. If I enjoy reading something good, I'm encouraged and begged and bribed to say so. And yet, when it's the opposite...

And people who leave even so-so reviews of bad stories should be shot. If you don't like, don't comment. Maybe they'll get the hint! *sigh*