Veiled Vesta

Forgive me for not reading the posts before this but I'm just gonna post and run. I have the first X-Files movie to watch!

I want to wish Victoria Frances a very happy birthday; I hope my D-Day Devlish twin gets a David Duchovny cake. Or a Nicholas Lea cake but then that would've ruined the alliteration I was going for.

Anyway, in honor of this episode with wine drinkin' Scully, I'm also going to have a drink before doing this recap because I'm finally of age! Whether that's a good idea or a bad idea will remain to be seen. However, since I can't stand hard liquor, I bought myself some wine coolers to try. Wine... Wine coolers. Close enough.

Small Potatoes

(** Side Note: Some much needed light heartedness before I cover the season finale. The funny episode of the season which gave us an almost kiss between these two: so what if one of them was an imposter? Fan videos and fan art aren't picky. Mulder, the real one that is, should take note that Drunk Scully is Fun, More Open Scully!)

A hospital in West Virginia is showing us the wonder of life: we see a woman screaming in labor as she gets wheeled in on a stretcher. The nurse wheeling her is saying soothing words while a second nurse beside her takes that moment to get down her info. You know, name, number, insurance carrier, baby daddy. The woman in labor, Amanda Nelligan, says that her baby's father is not from around here. He is in fact from another planet. The second nurse just stops and wonders if the labor pains have made her delusional. Now, in the delivery room, Amanda pushes and screams before popping out a healthy baby girl – with a tail. So maybe she's not completely delusional. The doctor makes a face and mutters that this isn't the first case he's had of a squirmy tailed baby.

Opening Credits! I took my first sip of a Bartles & Jaymes Strawberry Daiquiri cooler. I can really taste the... alcohol. Hmm. I think I have some kind of alcohol sensitivity of something. No matter. Some ice will make this sucker passable and I still have to try my Piña Colada bottle afterwards. Plus, I'm eating potato chips along with my drink. Hah! I'm eating small potatoes! By the way, Amanda's voice sounds a bit familiar. It's got a cutesy quality that reminds me of a comedian I can't quite name right now... I don't know if anyone knows who I'm thinking about.

So Mulder and Scully are heading to the town that's being overrun with monkey babies, if the World Weekly Informer is to be believed. Their staff loves cutting and pasting as the main picture is a screeching monkey head on the body of a baby, with a monkey tail stuck behind the baby's butt. There's also a Michael Jackson article in there, natch and when Mulder asks what Scully's thoughts are, I can see why she doesn't take him seriously. Scully uses her scientific doctor know how to explain the tails, or caudal appendages that may be rare but have been known to happen. Mulder says that rare birth anomaly has happened five different ties in a span of three months in small town. While Scully does agree that's kinda odd, she thinks it's more suited for the health department to investigate. She guesses why Mulder took such a special interest in the case: The part about the women who may have done it with visitors from space, resulting in the "monkey babies". Mulder's got a little "you got me" smile.

Mulder and Scully's first interviewee is the adorable Amanda who's explaining that her doctor would just snip of the tail a bit later in the baby's life and other than that the baby is quite healthy. Scully asks if she had any complications or if she underwent fertility treatment. (That reminds me of the previous recap where poor Scully is barren. Aww. And Mulder still hasn't told her.) Amanda just smiles, saying the pregnancy was unplanned and Mulder brings up her comment earlier about the father being from another planet. She reaffirms that and Mulder asks if she was abducted. She says no, looking surprised. The father just dropped by her place one day for an intergalactic booty call. Mulder asks if the baby's father is an alien and she kind of laughs as she says the baby's father is Luke Skywalker. A Jedi knight. Hah! Mulder's face is hilarious. Scully is clearly trying not to laugh or taunt Mulder as she asks if he had a light saber (vague double entendre there!) Amanda says he didn't bring it but he did sing the Star Wars Theme. If that's not intergalactic love, I don't know what is. Mulder is ready to leave and Scully asks how many times Amanda saw Star Wars. She saw it close two 400 times. Wow. Amanda asks Scully with a cute little hint of apprehension if the other four babies born with tails might have Luke as their father. Scully makes a face like she's considering it but it's probably for Amanda's benefit. Scully leaves the room after Mulder.

Out in the hospital, Mulder and a crowd of other family members are looking through the window into the newborn nursery area. He sees the baby with the tail, and the baby must be happy because her tail is wagging. Cute. Scully's walking down the hall talking on her cell phone when Mulder joins her. He's ready for the merciless taunting though he still thinks there's something more to their case. Scully actually doesn't tease and in fact agrees with Mulder that there is something more to their case. Mulder actually stops in his tracks he so surprised. I guess the phone call Scully made was in regard to the tests that were ran on the five children. The doctor who ran the tests will also run blood work on the parents but the tests ran on the children confirms it: the five babies born with tails all share the same father. The father must've passed down his birth defect down to his children so they have a way of identifying their perp, unless Scully is right and he had his tail removed. Mulder wonders how it happened and Scully explains the birds, the bees, and the monkey babies. Yup, birds do it, bees do it, even educated MD's do it. *wink* Gotta love Mulder innuendo. Then Mulder and Scully figure that since the women all share the same OBGYN (the only one in town), maybe he had something to do with it.

Mulder and Scully pull up at the OBGYN clinic and pass by a couple who argue amongst themselves about suing the doctor, when the guy turns to Mulder and Scully, mistaking them for a couple. Mulder and Scully share a look like 'Don't worry, it happens all the time'. Well, I like to think so anyway. Inside, they see more couples cornering a scared doctor. One of them demands to know what the doctor did with his sperm and another woman asks whose sperm the doctor used. Looks like they found out the babies don't belong to their fathers. Another man looks at Mulder and also confuses him for a monkey-tailed baby daddy. Or not-daddy. In any case, he's wrong because we all know Mulder wouldn't need a specialist to get himself an Uber-Scully... probably because she's barren. Mulder corrects the man, saying he and Scully are FBI and the men cheer, wanting him to arrest the doctor but Scully calms them down and Mulder says they're just there investigating. One of the men reiterates that the doctor didn't use his sperm on his wife but the doctor insists that the women were all inseminated with their husband's own sperm and I'm really typing the word 'sperm' alot. The doctor was surprised the process worked all four times considering the less than 50% chances they had. Then he implies that maybe they were unfaithful to which one woman gets upset and ready to deck the doctor. She says she hasn't been with anyone other than her husband and the doctor backpedals, saying he didn't mean it like that and another patient of his, Amanda, gave birth to a baby with a tail and she didn't even undergo the insemination thing. Meanwhile, Mulder wanders off down the hall for God knows what reason. Possibly pondering the ways he could break it to Scully that he's got a vial of her genetic material stored next to some Häagen-Dazs and a bag of frozen peas. He sees a plumber fixing a sink in a break room, plumber's butt crack included and everything. Nice. But it's necessary for Mulder to make the discovery that this plumber has a scar right above his crack... like where a tail might be! Mulder identifies himself as an FBI agent and says he would like to ask him some questions. The plumber agrees before running off. Mulder sighs and rolls his eyes as if to say "Why do they always run?" Seriously that makes them even more guilty and even though Mulder can't outrun a vehicle, he can certainly chase down a short, stubby plumber. Mulder makes a beautiful flying tackle into a home run-style slide as he and the perp end up in front of Scully and the other couples. He invites Scully to check out the plumber's butt crack. And the scar, of course. The women gasp and wonder if he's the guy.

Yes, he is the one. Mulder and Scully have him an interrogation room and they just got the paternity tests. Eddie Van Blundht, you *are* the father! Times five! (Maury, eat your heart out) Eddie points out that they spelled his name wrong on the paternity test. They left out the 'H' in Blundht and I must sympathize because I have a thing about people getting my name wrong in real life. Just one little misspelling which I know they don't mean to make but still it kind of irks me. Anyway, Mulder and Scully want to know how he did it. How did he get five women pregnant without them knowing but Eddie is kind of dodging the question and says that maybe they liked his personality which would compensate for him being was born with a tail and looking like a schlub. Eddie thinks that if the women got their wish of having babies with no one getting hurt, then what's the crime? The two agents leave with Mulder stumped, theory-wise, but Scully picks up the slack by offering her theory that Eddie date-raped those women. Slipped something into their drinks then took advantage of them. Scully leaves, looking satisfied while Mulder takes a moment to look at Eddie then leaves himself.

Eddie's information is being taken by a deputy who misspells his name, making the same lack of 'H' typo. Eddie corrects him, saying the 'H' is silent. He gives his address and phone number, all the while looking at the deputy all intently. When the deputy looks up at Eddie, he sees that Eddie has morphed into him! Eddie grabs a pig statue (dressed as cop) and smashes it over the deputy's head. I guess he didn't like the statue. Morphed Eddie reiterates that the 'H' is silent. A while later, Scully gets a statement from an officer who found the deputy passed out under the desk. The deputy, while holding an ice pack to his head, tells Scully that he got cold-cocked. He also says that Eddie looked like him. Then he gets led away. Mulder is at the front desk and he rings for Scully's attention. Eddie walked out wearing the deputy's spare uniform and Mulder has finally formed a theory. Scully is one step ahead of him, guessing that Mulder's theory involves Eddie physically transforming into his captor and slipping out in plain sight. Mulder grins and thinks they should be picking out China patterns, they're so in synch. Read into the hints Scully! You've got cancer so seize the day! Grab it by the coat collar and kiss it senseless! She does not, rather explaining that the deputy's concussion made him think he saw Eddie morph into himself and the two men were a bit similar in terns of height and skin color so add a uniform on him and no one would notice. Scully is seriously grasping at straws because the two aren't that similar and even at three am, the sheriff should be able to tell the difference between dumpy Eddie and serious looking Deputy who will never look at a pig in a cop uniform the same way again. Unless the sheriff was drunk. Speaking of, I finally finished my first wine cooler and I'm moving on to my second. I'm feeling fine so far and I hope the Piña Colada tastes better. Mulder points out that they've encountered shape shifters before (Alien Bounty Hunter!) but he doesn't think Eddie uses his powers to kill alien hybrid clones. That's where Eddie is smarter than the Alien Bounty Hunter which is hard to believe but there ya' go.

Walking to Eddie's house, with Scully holding the umbrella for Mulder in the light drizzle, Mulder poses a what if question: If Scully could be somebody for one day, who would she be? Scully chooses herself and Mulder waves it off as a boring choice, asking her if she wouldn't be tempted to try out someone else's existence for a day because ultimately how people treat you is what defines you. Scully thinks it over as they reach the porch and she decides Eleanor Roosevelt. Mulder calls 'no dead people' and Scully verbally sticks her tongue out at him. Mulder notices a man in the yard using a leaf blower who kind of looks like Luke Skywalker. It's so difficult for Jedi Knights to find work nowadays what with the Star Wars movie franchise on the low. The 'H' from Van Blundht sign on the door falls off (heh, nice work prop guys) and an old man finally opens the door asking who they are and what they're doing. Mulder and Scully say they're with the FBI and asks if that's where Eddie Van Blundht lives. That's the old man's name, his son the plumber is Eddie Van Blundht Jr. Inside, Mulder checks out The Jedi gardener, possibly thinking that could be Eddie in disguise and Eddie Sr. is shocked that his son got five women pregnant and attacked a deputy. Scully wonder if he knows where his son could be but he says he hasn't seen him in 2 days. Mulder notices a poster advertising 'Eddie the Monkey Man' and asks if that's Eddie Sr. on the poster. Eddie Sr. is proud as he strikes this hilariously cheesy pose and asks if they want to see, undoing the belt on his robe. Mulder nods, looking fascinated but Scully spares us from seeing naked old man butt. Mulder gives her a brief 'spoilsport' look. Eddie Sr. says that his son had his tail removed when he was a kid and he thought it was a mistake because other than that tale, there was nothing that made him unique or interesting. He was just "small potatoes". Mulder asks if he knows of any other medical conditions his son may have had and Eddie Sr. says Eddie Jr. was born sickly but Mulder quickly interrupts asking how he knew to call him Mulder. Eddie Sr. claims Scully told him but she actually did not. They haven't mentioned Mulder by name the whole time there were there. Busted. The old man runs. He's actually Eddie Jr. who morphed into his dad. Mulder runs after him but seems to have lost him somewhere outside, his robe tossed in the bushes. He could be anywhere, looking like anyone. Mulder puts the robe on Scully's shoulder and kudos for her not recoiling at possibly contracting plumber cooties from it.

In a nice little house somewhere nearby, one of the women from the OBGYN clinic earlier ( nicknamed Baboo) is changing the diaper of her recently-but-no-more-after-surgery monkey tailed baby. Her husband runs inside looking nervous and locking the door. I don't think that's actually her husband. He walks into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face as he morphs back into Eddie. His wife want to know if he's okay and Eddie says he's fine, using her little nickname to reassure her. She smiles and calls him Sugar Patootie. I should use that at least once when I get myself a boyfriend. I don't think I could do it with a straight face, though.

Mulder and Scully are looking around the Van Blundht home with Scully staying downstairs and Mulder venturing upstairs. When he opens a closet door a bunch of stuff falls down loudly and he says he's okay but Scully didn't even hear him. Eventually Scully joins him upstairs and he pulls down a cord for the attic which has a bunch of white flaky plaster or something ready to spill down. Mulder and Scully get back before he opens the attic door completely and a mummified body falls down, including a tail. They found the actual Eddie Van Blundht Sr.

Back with Baboo and Sugar Patootie (Heh), Eddie is dismayed to hear the real husband is back home and his wife is shocked because she saw him enter the bathroom a moment ago. The two go to the bathroom to investigate and confirm someone is in there but it ain't Sugar Patootie, though his patootie is quite sweet: Eddie morphed into Mulder! I've been waiting for this kind of scenario ever since I saw End Game. This Mulder copy won't be choking Scully or tossing her into glass tables. No, siree.

Scully is getting ready to examine the mummified body of Eddie Sr. Her tools include a welder's face mask and a buzz saw. Mulder walks in and she stops her buzz sawing to try and answer what killed the old man. She actually hasn't figured out what killed him but she did find striated muscle tissue covering his entire body. The muscle tissue underneath his skin could move and mold voluntarily and Scully is impressed with the discovery. Mulder accidentally breaks off the tail while Scully's back is turned thus making it depreciate in value. He makes this hilarious "Oh crap!" face as he figures out how to get it back on while Scully continues talking about the muscle tissue she found. He keeps her talking by asking what the muscle's purpose would be and Scully is not sure. When she turns around Mulder faces her and tries to look innocent as he keeps fumbling with the tail behind his back. Scully is too busy trying to figure it all out and Mulder wonders if the father passed down this muscle anomaly to his son. He thinks the muscle could be remolded to make him appear like anyone he chooses and Scully is still skeptical. Mulder finally gets the tail on the body, not exactly attached but it's not his problem anymore and he beats a hasty retreat claiming he wants to know why Eddie's MO varied on his most recent victim, a single woman who didn't want to get pregnant, whereas the first four women were married and did want babies. As soon as Mulder closes the door, the tail falls off the body and Scully stares at the body in confusion.

Over in Amanda's room, she's holding her little baby girl before she hears a knock on her door. Mulder comes in and apologizes for bothering her but he needs to ask a few more questions. She's fine with it and she hands her baby to a waiting nurse. Amanda says that she's being kept in the hospital for an extra long time because they want to be make sure she's not crazy. Mulder says at least she gets free cable. She laughs lightly and Mulder gets down to the questions. He pulls out a photo of Eddie and asks if she recognizes him. She does and her reaction is not a very flattering one. She says she and Eddie dated in high school and she thinks he's kind of a loser, not sure why she ever even went out with him. Mulder wants to know what made Eddie a loser and Amanda says the guy had like a million annoying habits and she hears he's a janitor now. Ouch. That's a step down from plumber. Mulder, who has been acting a bit odd the whole time (suspiciously odd!), urges her to think of some good qualities he may have had and she agrees that they had some good times, like when the watched Star Wars every weekend. Ah, so that's why he visited her as Luke Skywalker. When Amanda wants to know why all the questions about Eddie, Mulder mumbles that it's official FBI business and that's when I realize it's actually Eddie morphed as Mulder. Where did he get the suit? Amanda accepts his sorta explanation and he gives her a rose to commemorate the blessed event. Yup, definitely Eddie there. Mulder doesn't get a woman flowers unless she's dying. Eddie morphed as Mulder leaves and Amanda calls out "May the force be with you!" So cute... Maria Bamford! That's who she reminds me of! I love her voice. Out in the hall we see the real Mulder just arriving asking for Amanda's room. She hasn't moved since she wowed you with the Jedi Knight story, Mulder. This is gonna be tough to recap as I don't know what to call Eddie when he's morphed as Mulder. Eddie morphed as Mulder ducks into a room and peeks out from the window. When Mulder walks into Amanda's room she asks hi once again why he wanted to know about Eddie and Mulder gets confused. Then his cell phone rings. It's Baboo and Sugar Patootie. How did they get his cell number? Anyway he learns that he was, apparently, in their bathroom after chasing a suspect in there and he told them not to go into the bathroom until a team comes to dust for prints. Oh, and also he took the husband's suit. That explains my earlier question. Odd that he owns a nearly identical suit to the one Mulder is currently wearing. Mulder puts the pieces together and asks Amanda where he went earlier. Wrong person to ask, Mulder. HE leaves and asks a nurse, saying a man looking exactly like him was just there and does she know where he went? The points him to the men's locker room and Mulder is off.

Mulder gets to the men's, gun in hand, then points it at a security guard who's changing. He thinks it could be Eddie and orders him to put his hands up and turn around. The guard does, leaving his pants to fall down. Oh the indignity. At least he's better off than the upcoming potential suspect. Mulder apologizes to the guard in advance if he's not Eddie and at that moment, the OBGYN doctor steps out of the shower area clad only in a towel which he promptly drops when Mulder aims his gun at him. Mulder quickly looks down south (heh) before deciding to handcuff both of them to a pole in the locker room. He makes sure they're the only ones there and he apologizes once again but he needs to run blood tests on them to make sure neither is Eddie. Mulder then calls Scully to get down to the hospital and after he hangs up he hears a noise, followed by a flickering of lights. He walks over and sees a ceiling tile sort of open. He hears Eddie's voice saying Mulder is a damn good looking man (preach it, janitor man!) before he falls down on Mulder.

Scully finally makes it to the hospital and we hear the security guard and the OBGYN doctor arguing with Mulder, wanting to know why they were handcuffed and treated like criminals. Mulder just apologizes over again and nurses a bag of ice on his injured head. A cop tells him he can leave and Scully asks Mulder what's going on. He says that Eddie cold cocked him then got away. That seems suspiciously simple. Mulder says the local authorities are mad at him but they'll continue looking for Eddie so they can go back to Washington Scully is a little confused that he's ready to go so easily and Mulder says that the only thing there is "small potatoes". Either Mulder got hit harder than I thought or that's not Mulder at all! It's Eddie! And we get confirmation as we go down into the bowels of the hospital basement to see the real Mulder locked in some kind of cage, with a sign on the door that says the janitor has the keys. Mulder is yelling for help, asking if anyone is out there. Nope. At least Eddie left him a sandwich, an apple and an opened Perk Cola. That's something, I guess. Plus Mulder can use this time to think about things. Scully related things. Let's move on to see what kind of havoc Eddie can wreck in Mulder's body.

In Skinner's office, Skinner is reading their report on the monkey babies case while Scully and the faux Mulder (I think I'll refer to him as that) sit and wait. Faux Mulder looks over at Scully and copies her crossed legs, hands folded to look more official. Yeah, now he looks like an official effeminate agent. Skinner closes the file and would like to know who wrote it. Faux Mulder says he did it and Skinner points out he spelled 'Federal Bureau of Investigation' wrong. Twice. Hah. Skinner would like to know about the old mummified body and Scully says they finally determined that the old man died of natural causes. Faux Mulder says that the son probably hid the father's body in the attic to cash in on his social security checks. Skinner makes sure the son wasn't a murderer and Faux Mulder quickly pipes up that he was not but Skinner says the guy was a rapist and Faux Mulder makes an odd little grimace. Scully says she entered him the sex offenders database as well as put out a description on him so he'll get arrested soon. The slight grimace comes back but Faux Mulder quickly hides it and says that about wraps it up.

Faux Mulder and Scully walk down to the basement office. Faux Mulder gives Scully a nice little pat on the shoulder and asks if she has plans tonight. Since it's Friday she figured she'd kick back and work on her monograph regarding the recidivist offenders which sees to go over Faux Mulder's head. Scully says she might ditch that, which peaks Faux Mulder's interest, but instead she'd ditch it in favor of checking out the mummified body over at Quantico. The whole time she's talking, she has her nose buried in a file so she doesn't notice how long it takes Faux Mulder to find the right key for the office door. Scully says she'll see him Monday then walks away. Faux Mulder is kind of sad to see her go and finally finds the right key. Time to check out the office space. He takes a good look around, rolling his eyes at the name 'Fox' which is written on the nameplate on his desk. He sits in the chair and tries to lean back as he rests his feet on the desk but he can't pull off the real Mulder's finesse and nearly falls off. He quickly regains his footing and adjusts a long paper thing on his desk, his face thinking 'hope no one saw that.' We all saw it, you imposter! But it was funny so I won't say anything to Scully. He is not pleased that his tax dollars fund a whacko alien believer's office and he checks the wallet he stole from the real Mulder to find out where he lives. The picture on Mulder's license looks so serious.

Faux Mulder goes over to his new apartment and wonders where he sleeps. Hope he likes the couch. He listens to messages on his answering machine, feeding his fish while listening to the first one from the Lone Gunmen. Langly invites him over for assassination evidence debunking and cheese steaks. Faux Mulder unsuccessfully dribbles a basketball before he huffs that he has geeks for friends. The second message is from a sexy sounding woman named Chantal who says she misses his voice. That gets his attention and he grabs a pencil to write down the message but when she reveals she's a phone sex operator he throws away the pencil. Faux Mulder will not resort to phone sex to get his kicks. Over at the mirror, he tries out some tough guy posturing and pulls out his FBI badge. Upside down. He corrects it after a while and does the famous "You lookin' at me?" DeNiro impression. He flips over his jacket to show off his gun then tries to draw it all cool-like but fails when he drops the clip in the process. He picks it up then twirls the gun a bit. It's all really funny and worth seeing for yourself. He reiterates that he's a damn good looking man and the last thing he practices in front of the mirror is a few faces. He's going to need the right expression if he's going to try and charm himself into a certain scientist's bed.

Scully is in her apartment reading over some papers when she hears a knock at her door. She gets up and checks the peep hole, and we get treated to a peep hole view of Faux Mulder who flashes a huge, stupidly adorable grin. Damn he's good. She opens the door looking surprised to see him. She asks what's up and he wonders if it's a bad time. She says no then notices the bottle of wine he's got with him. Ah, if the ole' Mulder charm doesn't work getting her drunk might do it. He says the wine is for them and she pauses for a second before taking it and inviting him to take a seat. Faux Mulder asks what she's working. Safe, familiar territory. Good start, Faux man. Though checking yourself out in her spoon kind of takes away from that a bit.
Scully explains it's her autopsy findings which doesn't really please Faux Mulder. She goes on about how everyone at the lab was impressed by the Van Blundht skin and hair follicles. He takes off his jacket and fiddles with a pillow before she comes back with the open bottle and some wine glasses. She pours him a glass then asks him what's going on, and if he's okay. She pours herself a glass and he responds that he was thinking and he coughs after taking a sip of wine. Good wine makes you cough, it seems. He asks if they ever really talk. Scully says no and he wonders what's stopping them. She has to think about that. What is stopping them? Nothing, that's what. Later on, they've got the fire blazing, the stereo playing soft music and most of the wine is gone. I think Scully drank much of it and Faux Mulder makes sure to pour her the last of it, banging the bottom to get every little drop out. Scully is fondly recounting her high school prom story and he's listening very intently. If she weren't so drunk she'd probably see something was up (heh...) but she's just happy to see this whole new side of Mulder. He asks if she ever wishes things were different and the two briefly discuss the possibility of going back and doing things differently in life. He wishes he could do that and he gets closer to her much to her surprise. Is it an alcohol induced hallucination? No, Scully, he really is leaning in for a kiss! Squeeee! This is the first episode where we get the closest thing to a Mulder/Scully kiss! We'll have to wait until the movie for another near miss and then about a season after that for our first actual, uninterrupted kiss with an alternate reality/possibly dream Scully, then a whole other season after that for real Mulder and real Scully to FINALLY share their long awaited lip-lock. Man! I can't wait to recap those kisses. Meanwhile, this near miss will have to do. He's so close he can practically taste the wine on her breath... and then the real Mulder busts into her apartment! Kodak moment! Scully is shocked and confused. Real Mulder is shocked and confused. Faux Mulder is shocked but disappointed. Scully jumps out of that sofa faster than a nudist in a rattle snake farm! I have no idea where that came from. The real Mulder just looks on dumbfounded as Faux Mulder morphs back into Eddie. Scully gets even more surprised and he gives a little shrug. I sure do love that scene!

A month later Mulder visits Eddie at a reformatory and he talks to him through a glass window. Mulder wants to know why Eddie is wearing a 'Superstar' hat and Eddie says that his therapist makes him wear it as a self esteem boost but the other inmates beat him up and take it, then the next week the therapist arrives with a new replacement hat. Hah. He says he can't make faces (morph) like he used to because he was put on some kind of muscle relaxant. after a while, Eddie asks if Scully is there and Mulder gets a bit snippy as he asks why Eddie wanted to see him. Eddie just called him to point out that even though he was born a loser, Mulder is one by choice and he should live a little because he would if he were in Mulder's shoes. Eddie, just because Mulder's a foxy FBI agent, doesn't mean he doesn't have his own problems preventing him from getting crazy drunk with his partner and doing the hot and heavy horizontal mambo on her couch. Sure it would be nice... but anyway, Mulder is ready to go and he passes Scully who saw the whole conversation on a video monitor. As they walk down the hall, she assures him he's not a loser and he responds that he's no Eddie Van Blundht either. Not since Never Again have they faced so much tension, plus some awkwardness to boot. I'd give a 'cheers' but I have nothing to toast to as I've finally finished my second wine cooler. As Scully would say, “I feel fine.”