Veiled Vesta

Promise him some hot lovin'? Or if I were you I'd promise to do/watch something he likes (sports or action movie) in exchange for him taking you to the SATC movie. It wouldn't hurt if you mention the free booze they should be giving. (And if they aren't, BYOB.) By the way, thanks for the answer on the Stoner Chick/Drunk Girl question, Victoria! I didn't even realize they were in another X-Files episode. You'll definitely be getting more Krycek references/shout-outs from me in the near future.

Awww, Ju! I'm sure you mean as much to people as they do to you, hun. Sometimes people just have bad days and things happen that may make it seem like it. Hope things get better for you and I'm sure whoever you're talking about will come around. Would a recap make you feel better? (Finally finished it with a day to spare... if we're doing the viewing party on Sunday, that is.) BTW is it too late to cast my vote for Paper Hearts? The waist hug and the hair ruffle is love. Plus the Mulder angst. Can't forget the Mulder angst.

Talitha Cumi

(**Personally Obligatory Season Finale Note*: Because of course I had to do the season finale, even if it took a bit longer than I had hoped. We get the return of the Alien Bounty Hunter and the colonization plans, and other more welcomed cameos. Plus some Mulder angst. Though much of the good stuff is in the second part. All I can say is thank goodness it's not a three parter!)

A mad homicidal guy is in a crowded fast food join muttering to himself about something or other. People don't pay him much attention until he pulls out a gun. He starts yelling at everybody to stay where they are. He has the decency to let the children go. A waitress at the fast food place calls 911 while the mad gunman is waving his gun around and yelling things. Then a kindly looking old man steps forward and asks him to please not harm anyone. The mad gunman refuses, threatening to shoot. The kindly looking old man is very calm and reassures him he's not a loser, overall placating his crazy ramblings. He steps closer while police cars arrive on scene. The mad gunmen finally snaps and shoots, like, three people then gets shot himself by police. The mad gunmen utters that he's going to die. Not today, my mad friend. Our kindly old friend says no one's going to die then pulls an E.T and heals the gunman's wound! You will soon learn how similar this old man is to Spielberg’s E.T. Hope that doesn't give away the surprise.

Season Finale Opening Credits! Mix up the E.T theme song with some Joan Osborne's 'If God Was One of Us' (because of later references) and we got ourselves an interesting temporary song for this season finale. For this episode only, feel free to add some Resses Pieces to your sunflower seeds and iced tea!

Here come Mulder and Scully, as usual, late to the party. There are many cops already at the fast food place and Scully goes to check on the wounded while Mulder goes to interrogate the suspect. Scully finds out that there are actually no wounded, because according to one of the people who was actually shot (you can see the gun powder burn on his shirt) he felt the bullet enter, though he was done for but then a miracle: the kindly old man who tried to keep the mad gunman from shooting, actually healed this guy. He healed everybody who got shot. Mulder gets the same story from the crazed gunman outside in the back of a squad car. The crazed gunman, who's named Mr. Muntz, believes that the kindly old man was God and he spared his life and washed away his sins. 'What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?" Mulder and Scully regroup and talk about the kindly old man who healed with the palm of his hand. They find out he disappeared from custody. He wasn't let go, he just vanished. Hmm...

Lifestyles of the wealthy and wicked. Mulder's mom is walking into a house at Quantanamo, no wait, Quonochautaug. A name that's actually easier to pronounce than to spell, if you can believe it. She gets to the backyard of the big fancy summer home and sees *gasp* Cigarette Smoking Man. She is not happy to see him no matter how philosophical he gets. She wants to know what he wants and he asks all innocent-like that he was hoping they could get together and think about old times. Because back in the early years he and Mrs. Mulder had alot to say to each other. They had good times at the Mulder summer place and he remembers her husband, Bill, water skiing. Then he says (dear God, why am I even typing this?) that Bill was a good water skier, but not as good as CSM, though that could be said about so many things. Let that sink in for a moment. CSM and Mrs. Mulder. Cancer Man and Mulder's mommy. In closing, they start arguing about something he needs from her (eww, not *that*!) and she claims she's repressed it all. Someone in the bushes takes pictures of the argument, and I cannot stress enough: Eewww. Next scene!

The detective who had Kindly old healing man identifies him as Jeremiah Smith. Hmm, he does look like a Jeremiah Smith. The information he gave to the cops was phony and they're looking around for him but I wouldn't hold out hope for that. Mulder notices some news van then gets a call on his cell. It's Skinner who has news about Mulder's mother. She was taken into a Quonowanna, um, Quonochautaug hospital in serious condition. Mulder is on his way. He gets to his mother's room, taking Scully with him (awww) and Scully, with her medical know-how, tells him that his mom had a stroke but there's a good chance she might survive even though the doctors haven't determined the severity of her condition, yet. Mulder is busy doting on his mommy. A nurse tells him that his mom can't speak so he shouldn't expect any answers to his questions, so if he wants to break the news to her that he's totally in love with his partner without worrying about her disapproving words, now's a good as time as any. The nurse also says she was found on the floor of her house after getting an anonymous 911 call. Mrs. Mulder finally regains consciousness and she makes a writing motion with her hadn that Mulder is to dumb to figure out. Scully guesses correctly that she wants a pen and paper to tell him something. I was hoping to see how good Mrs. Mulder and son were at charades. Scully gives Mrs. Mulder a pen and paper, and she proceeds to write the word 'Palm' on it. Mulder is confused. He wears that expression well.

Outside in the lobby Mulder and Scully wonder about Mrs. Mulder's condition while said woman gets wheeled to... I don't know. The children's ward to scare some kids? Scully actually tells us that Mrs. Mulder is going to some special hospital up in Providence, then makes sure Mulder is okay. He's had better days but what helps him keep his mind off an ill mother is somehow tying it to their latest case. He believes there might be a correlation with what his mom wrote ('Palm') and their missing Jeremiah Smith (he healed people with his palm). Scully thinks that the stroke might have affected her center of speech so what she wrote might not mean anything. Scully wants to drive him to the nearest hotel for some R&R but Mulder is determined to find out who this kindly old miracle man is. Maybe he's at a Denny's as we speak. His specialty could be healing fast food patrons!

So now we're at the FBI basement office where Mulder's gotten a copy of the news van's tape. They got their mysterious healing man on tape, and as we watch it along with Mulder and Scully, we see Jeremiah Smith being questioned by a detective then someone passes by the camera and a different man is in Smith's place. Mulder and Scully are surprised and replay the footage. They realize that he disappeared but another man, wearing his exact clothes, appeared in his place. Mulder leaves Scully to examine the tape while he goes somewhere he won't tell her about because he knows she won't let him go. She protests that he hasn't slept in 24 hours but he leaves anyway. I refer to this as the Myth-Arc Split-Up. It happens in every myth-arc episode, especially season finales/premiers, and Mulder usually gets into alot of trouble for not staying with Scully.

We're at a Social Security office with many desks. Healing Man Jeremiah Smith works for the Social Security office? I guess when people feel like dying while waiting in line at those kinds of places, it's good to have a healing man nearby. Suddenly alot of men in suits, covert government men no doubt, walk in and seem to be looking for someone. CSM is there with the covert government suits and Jeremiah Smith spots them. He tries to get out all covertly but they find him and he gets arrested. None of the other employees even bat an eyelash. Healing Man Smith is now in an orange prison jumpsuit and he gets locked in a prison cell. A bit harsh for a guy who healed fast food patrons. Was he supposed to be there getting their orders but he forgot?

Mulder is at his Quiddich-cataug, heh no, Quonochautaug summer home when he gets confronted by his informant, X. The brooding informant tells Mulder that his mother was there with 'the Cancer Man', then shows him some pictures. So he was the voyeur in the bushes! X figured Mulder was aware that they knew each other but he did not and Mulder wants to know if CSM hurt his mother. X says no, she just collapsed after CSM left and X was the one who made the anonymous 911 call. Mulder wants to know what they argued about but X couldn't hear because he was too far away. Lucky bastard. I'll never look at water-skiing the same way again. X thinks that CSM wants something she hid in the house but he's open to Mulder's ideas if he knows more. Mulder just says that when their parents divorced, she vowed never to set foot in the summer house and she was a woman of her word. Must've been something pretty important to bring her back after so many years but Mulder has no idea what it could be.

Scully is walking in the FBI lobby when she sees... Healing Man Smith! But I thought he was in prison. She recognizes him as Jeremiah Smith, the man they're looking for, and he tells her there's been some kind of mistake because he saw his picture on the news saying he fled a crime scene and he wants to turn himself in to sort everything out. He is just such a kindly old man! I wat him to be my adoptive grandpa! He'd be a better help than my actual grandpa when I'm sick. In Skinner's office with some other official FBI people plus the detective who was interviewing at the crime scene, Healing Man Smith recounts his story, claiming amnesia on all the good parts. He only remembers telling the mad gunman to put down his gun but after that he can't remember anything up until showing up for work the next day at the Social Security Administration. He doesn't say anything about the CSM cohorts going after him which is very suspicious. Skinner decides since the kindly old man can't give anymore useful information, Healing Man Smith can go but not to leave town or anything without telling them. He works for the government. How far could he get on his salary?

Night time at the Mulder summer home. Looks like Mulder is doing some after hours snooping. He looks in many different places for something - he checks the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom (*cringe*), yeah, suffice to say he doesn't seem to find what he's looking for. He finally sits down and takes out his mother's 'Palm' note. He takes out a pen and rearranges the letters to spell 'Lamp'. I don't know why he couldn't just do the rearranging in his mind. Probably done for the viewers benefit. We wouldn't know why Mulder starts smashing lamps if he didn't get his Eureka moment and unscramble the short anagram. So there he goes smashing lamps. Yeah, Mulder! Wreck up the joint! Peel off the plastic; to hell with dust bunnies! In one of the smashed lamps he finds a small little metal pen shaped device. We don't know what it is until he presses a hidden button or something and a long ice-pick type of blade comes out. This is the weapon of choice for Alien Bounty Hunters as seen in the episode Colony. (Currently not recapped by me but just trust me when I say its made an appearance before. )

CSM visits his prisoner in cell B18... okay, now this is a bit confusing because Healing Man Smith is still there, strapped in a chair in the cell. If Healing Man Smith is in the cell, than what was he doing at the FBI with Scully and Skinner? Unless... the episode Colony was about alien hybrid clones so... yeah, it took me a while to realize this the first time I saw the episode. Heck, I wasn't 100% sure the second time around. But on this 3rd viewing after paying close attention (and there are hints later on) I can say with a good deal of certainty that the Alien Bounty Hunter was the one who was at the FBI in the guise of Healing Man Smith while the "real" Healing Man Smith got captured. Hope I haven't confused anyone because there's alot of existential banter between CSM and Healing Man Smith. I'll try to boil it down for you:
HMS: "I'm not ashamed for what I do."
CSM: "You're an alien, your feelings don't count."
HMS: "Your mother."
CSM: "Real mature."
HMS: "Who are you to punish me? Quit tricking and lying to the masses. Stop sacrificing them to the Greater Project. What do you even give these people?"
CSM: "Screw the masses. I give them authority and pseudo freedom because men are weak. God is dead to them. No one who believes in science believes in God."
HMS: "What about Scully?"
CSM: "I will NOT be swayed by your trickery! Lalala, I can't hear you!"
At some point during this conversation our kindly old Healing Man Smith morphs into the kindly old Riddle-speaker Deep Throat! Loved the Deep Throat cameo! And CSM was pretty freaked out by seeing some of the speech come out of someone who looked and sounded like Deep Throat. Very cool.

Mulder's back in Washington and boy is he mad! Hide the lamps! He confronts Skinner and demands to know everything about CSM (didn't he try this back in One Breath when he wanted to avenge Scully? We're not gonna get Mulder's revenge part III, are we?) Skinner just asks why he needs to get a hold of CSM now and Scully asks where he's been. He tells her, then he whips out the photos of CSM arguing with Mulder's mommy. Skinner tells him that CSM and his fellow Consortium pals don't have names, to his knowledge. He just makes due with unflattering nicknames and too bad for Mulder but he won't get his hands on the Black-lunged Son of a Bitch. Mulder needs it because he suspects CSM is trying to kill Healing Man Smith. That's where Scully steps in to tell Mulder that they already saw Healing Man Smith and he gave them a statement. See, this is what happens when you want to split up, Mulder. He wants to visit the kindly old man himself. At the Social Security office, Mulder and Scully spot Healing Man Smith. Mulder wants him for more questions and when Healing Man Smith protests that he's told the FBI all he knows, Mulder vaguely threatens that he doesn't want to cause a scene at work so he'd best follow him. The three leave an elevator at the lobby and once again he asks where he's going but Mulder won't say. That's when Healing Man Smith makes a break for it. Healing Man Smith knocks into a bunch of other men in suits and Mulder grabs who he thinks is his guy but no, it's just a guy in a beard so he lets him go. Scully can't find him either. Outside the building, we follow the bearded man. Looks like our Alien Bounty Hunter has pulled the ole' 'bump into a group of similarly dressed people then morph into someone else so you leave right under your pursuers' noses.' Classic.

Oh. Back at the prison with real Healing Man Smith. More back and forth about fear and God and miracles:
HMS: "Why am in a cage? You scared of me? You chicken?"
CSM: "No. Shut up."
HMS: "Cluck cluck."
CSM: "You think you're God but you're not. You're just a no good alien drone."
HMS: "You're afraid people will think I'm God and even though you think people choose science over religion, you can't read minds so you don't know what they believe and what kind of strength their faith gives them."
CSM: "Morph and talk all you want but people don't know what I do, you don't know what I believe in and there's nothing you can do rattle my cage or stop your impending doom."
HMS: "Fine... BTW, you have lung cancer."
CSM: "Jigga what!?"
He morphed into Mulder's daddy near the end of this conversation but I don't feel that's worth noting because I'm not a Bill Mulder fan. I hope he's resting in peace down in Satan's consortium. After a while (I assume), the bearded man from earlier morphs into the Alien Bounty Hunter and it looks like Healing Man Smith is about to face the aforementioned impending doom. But what's this? The prison cell that should have the kindly old alien man is empty! (Did he escape on a bike with a kid in a red hoodie? )

Mrs. Mulder is still in the hospital and there's not much improvement. The doctor says that she lost alot of blood and there's considerable pressure on her brain. He doesn't know if she'll regain consciousness. After the doctor leaves Mulder sits down beside her, grabs her hand and has himself a good cry. Hours later (rough estimate) he walks out of her room looking a bit better and then he sees CSM. With all the rage of a man long denied his revenge, it looks like he's ready to give CSM some face time with his gun. Mulder wants to shoot him in the hospital but he thinks since its a hospital, CSM would probably get saved. CSM is actually there to visit Mrs. Mulder and he seems to genuinely care about her condition. CSM tells him that he knew her since before he was born but Mulder doesn't care. CSM tells him that it was Mrs. Mulder who contacted him and dangles the "I may have information on your sister" carrot in front of him. Oh, for the love of... A nurse finally walks by and Mulder has to put away his gun. He wants to know where his sister is but CSM says that it's actually someone else who has the information and he's disappeared. Mulder counters with his own information about something CSM wants but Smoky just wants to see his old flame, Mrs. Mulder. And he does so. Looks like Mulder's revenge part III went about as well as the season 2's first two parts. Maybe next time, Mulder. Maybe next time.

Scully has been doing some digging on Healing Man Smith and discovers his name and picture in several different Social Security offices around the country. She makes a call, probably to Mulder but she won't be able to reach him because at that moment he's in a parking lot waiting for X. And there he is. Mulder walks out to greet X who wants to know if Mulder has it. Yes, he does but he won't give it up without some answers. X tells him that it has no value to him but it will for him when "the time comes". Mulder guesses correctly that it's a weapon used to pierce the back of the neck. That's the only way you can kill an alien hybrid. X says they're willing to kill him to get the weapon. Mulder realizes that a date has been set on alien colonization. X wants the weapon now. Nah nah, turns out Mulder isn't giving it to him after all. Time for a parking lot brawl! X swigs at Mulder and Mulder fights back. The two toss each other around - there's much shoving and punching and basically all the kind of stuff he never got to do with his first informant. Oh, those two. They finally both pull out their guns and aim it at each other. Mulder says if he shoots him he'll never get the weapon. X feels like shooting him anyway after all the crap he's had to endure. Mulder says he's walking away. And then he does. X calls after him, saying he's a dead man walking. So... he can still call him for X-Files info, right?

In the time it takes for two men to fight over an alien ice pick weapon, Scully makes it home and tries to call again but then there's a knock on her door. It's Jeremiah Smith. She is understandably suspicious and she gets her gun, making sure he walks in nice and slow with his hands where she can see them. It's pretty dark in there which adds to the mysterious mood. Healing Man Smith (I think he's the one who escaped from prison) tells Scully that he has crucial information involving Mulder's sister and an elaborate plan and project. Scully wants to know why he didn't tell her before and he says the man she spoke with was actually an imposter sent to kill him (Alien Bounty Hunter. I feel so dumb because it took me so long to figure it out! ) Mulder finally calls before he can start explaining everything to Scully. She asks hi where he is and he says he was with his mother. She tells him that she's with Healing Man Smith. Mulder is immediately on alert. He wants Scully to get out of there and meet him somewhere safe.
Scully and Healing Man Smith go to meet Mulder in an abandoned warehouse or something by Bond Mill Road. As soon as Scully and Healing Man Smith get out of her car, Mulder calls out for her to get away from the kindly old man and get behind him. Aww, he wants to protect her. Healing Man Smith says he means no harm and he's actually risking alot in seeking out Mulder. The resident paranoid agent keeps the alien ice pick weapon handy just in case. Scully tells Mulder that Healing Man Smith knows about Samantha and he's ready to explain how he healed the people in the fast food restaurant. Mulder gets the idea to bring him and his healing powers to see his mother at the hospital. Suddenly they all get hit by bright lights. Headlights. Alien Bounty Hunter is there and he's ready to kill Healing Man Smith. Mulder is concerned because he won't see any action until the season 4 premier. To be continued, people!