My problem with that trope is when it crosses that line but doesn't acknowledge it. When the bad boy yells and degrades and forces their will on their partner without their consent and writers portray this as "romantic" and make the person a viable option for the hero/heroine boils me senseless.
I also agree with your statement about fake nice guys being bad but I think they hold equal weight with the aforementioned. Both guys are being abusive and destructive.