break the window

[So I'm posting Chapter 4, but it's really a go between I feel, explaining a little bit of the backstory. It took so long to get this going. I didn't know where to start or how to put it or what to do with it. I think I started this chapter, about sixteen times in my head of how it would go and how Amy would have her exit out of Ephram's life and it was really, really hard. I tried to justify Amy's actions as much as I could, and you know, even I hate her now But I'm glad I wrote it because I never really felt Ephram's pain. I only saw him as the successful teacher and the guy who's helping Hogan become an upstanding guy. But this really kind of takings a turning point in how I'm going to deliver Ephram's character in the next coming episodes. I have the next few chapters figured out. I have the ending already written in my head so I know how I'm going to end it. I will say...it becomes full circle...in a good way I hope you all enjoy this and really get out everything I put into it. I'm glad you all like my writing]


A Christmas Homecoming in Everwood: Chapter 4

~*~

Almost Eight Years Ago

“Today has been the most perfect day.” Amy spoke in a soft voice.
“Yeah, it has been pretty special.” Ephram kissed the top of her head while caressing her lower back.

They laid together, in Ephram’s bed, a lone sheet covering the middle part of their bodies.

“I was thinking in listening to your dad and Nina’s wedding vows that it could be us up there, saying our wedding vows.”
Ephram entwined his hand with hers. “Yeah, I couldn’t help but think what our future held, too. A big house, lots of kids.”
Amy looked up at him, making a face. “Lots of kids?”
“Yeah, like a whole softball team.”
“And where you do you think this softball team is coming from?”

“Well, you and me of course.”
“No, no, no. This baby factory closes after…well, I don’t know what the number is, but definitely not a softball team.”
“As long as they are healthy, it doesn’t matter to me.”
After a long pause, Amy finally asked what had been pressing on her mind. “Do you want to get married, Ephram?”
His eyes widened at her serious face. “Right now?”
“Not right now.” She had a light giggle. “But, you know, in the future?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess. Is that what’s been bugging you all day? I saw the look on your face earlier, but I didn’t want to say anything.”
“I never really thought about it until Nina was putting all the wedding preparations together. I wanted to imagine how it would be when you would be waiting at the altar and me be in the big white dress.”
“It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it.”
“I actually almost picked up a wedding magazine at the grocery store and Delia reminded me that Nina had already planned her entire wedding and didn’t need anymore magazines. I think I was picking it up for me than for her. This entire week has just been non stop wedding and I keep wanting to plan ours.”
“You will.” He kissed the top of her head again, both of them drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The rain hard started to fall hard. Amy woke up, looking at the clock, it was just after three in the morning. She grabbed her underwear from her overnight bag and not wanting to wake Ephram, she grabbed one of his overnight shirts from the dresser drawer. Slowly she made her way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. The living room was freezing. She forgot how cold Everwood could get at night. She adjusted the thermostat and opened up the refrigerator. She grabbed the half eaten mint chocolate fudge ice cream and a spoon. Slowly she sat at the table, digging in.

“There you are.” Ephram came out of the bedroom slipping his t-shirt on, just covering his pajama pants.
“Sweet tooth.” She showed him the front of the ice cream box.
“It’s already freezing in here, how can you be eating ice cream?”
“You know I can eat ice cream in an igloo if there’s mint involved.”

“Yeah, the day you, me, Bright and Hannah went on that walk on the day schools were closed a few years ago. You had ice cream then too, and I still thought you were crazy even then, too.”
Amy saw Ephram get a spoon from the drawer and she slid the already gotten spoon away from where she was sitting. “Way ahead of you.”
“You know me too well.”

“That I do.” Amy handed Ephram the carton. “You can have the rest, I’m cold enough.”

Ephram finished the last bit of ice cream and placed the empty carton in the trash, rinsing off the spoon and placing it in the sink.

“You have a something face.” Amy said aloud as Ephram was drying his hands.
“No I don’t.”
“Ephram…I know you better than that.” Amy walked over to the counter, looking at him, bringing his eye level to hers.
“My mom.”
“Oh.” Amy didn’t know what to say. Ephram hasn’t mentioned Julia in months. “It’s only natural that you think about your mom on that day. She is the reason why your dad moved you and Deliah to Everwood in the first place. She is the reason Andy was able to meet Nina and fall in love again.”
“I know and I’m really glad that they found each other, it’s just all the pain that my we went through to get here, to this place. I think it just all kind of hit me at once of what it took to get here.”
“How long have you been thinking about this.”
“A couple of days, not long.”
“Is that all that’s bothering you?”
“I wish it was.”
Amy waited for Ephram to continue, but finally she asked, “what else is going on?”
“I don’t think I can go back.”
Amy felt the answer in her heart, but asked anyway. “You can’t...go back where?”

“New York.” He sighed, feeling the need to explain himself further. “I’m finally at a point where I’m not bitter and angry about how we came to live in Everwood. I’m happy I’m here and I think I’ve always have been. Now that I’m happy here, I just feel that going back to New York is going to put me in that place again.”
“That’s okay, we can wait…you might feel different in a year.”
“I’ve tried to see myself with you there and I can’t. I didn’t want to tell you because you’ve been wanting to move to New York for so long and I…can’t.” He walked away, tossing the dish rag on the counter.

~*~


“…we can’t wait to meet you here at The Times, Amy. We’ll see you soon, goodbye!”

Amy kept repeating the voicemail over and over…and over and over. She had applied for an internship at one the top magazine publishing firms in New York. It would all be surprise for Ephram when he would get his acceptance letter to Julliard. Amy had it all planned out that she would be able to tell him her good news when he would tell her his good news. She was now contemplating calling The Times and declining her job offer; but it’s what she’s always wanted. Ephram’s what’s she’s always wanted, too. But can she expect Ephram to go against what he feels just for her to be happy.

“Amy…?” Ephram called out to her as he poured his coffee into the travel mug.
“Hey, yeah, sorry. I think I zoned out for a minute.”

“Yeah, you looked frozen. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” She noticed his overnight bag. “I didn’t think Bright was picking you up until this afternoon.”
“Well.” Ephram made a face, then continued. “First it was just Bright and me, then it Reid joined in. Okay, three guys, not a big deal. Then all of a sudden three extra guys want to join in. So now we’re leaving really early to beat traffic and pick everyone up and get the tent set up.” Ephram exhaled slowly. “I just have to remember that I promised a guy’s weekend before he gets married.”
“You always have fun on these trips.”
“Yeah, I know, I just have to remind myself that it’s going to be great.” Ephram leaned over to kiss Amy goodbye and she deepened the kiss, both of them letting it linger. “Wow, what was that for?”
She sighed. “Just because.”
He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and headed out the door.

~*~


Amy walked around the apartment virtually all afternoon figuring out what was going to be her next move. She promised herself that if she went to New York for a couple of weeks, Ephram would find the courage to come join her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Amy thought to herself. The plan had to work, she was giddy just thinking about it.

Amy answered questionably to the unknown number. “Hello?”
“Amy Abbott, this is Cathy Ryan, Director of Photography at the New York Times, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?” Amy answered carefully, not sure what this phone call meant.
“I’m fantastic! So, I know that we had set up an interview with you next week about an intern position, and I would hate for you travel all this way for a ten minute interview. Are you available for a phone interview?”
“Yeah, yes…I am.”
“Alright. I have a really good eye on talent when I see pictures and what a person has to offer artistically. That being said, I want someone on my team that is also intelligent as well as creative.”
“I agree.”
“So, now that you know what I expect of you, what do you expect to get out of your position at the New York Times?”

Amy was shaking in her boots, totally glad she was able to interview in her favorite pair of jeans and one of Ephram’s old t-shirts. She couldn’t imagine what she would say if being in dressed up in a fancy, uncomfortable office.

“Well, to be honest, I expect to be taken seriously and be able to learn within a city that already provides so much culture on its own. In ever photo, I like to tell a story. I would want to provide the reader with a story inside the picture that coincides with the story the author is trying to convey.”
“Okay and on a rainy day, how do you tell a story?”
“Well, to be honest, with the technology of today’s time, you can take the rain way. You get to the see the beauty in people trying to get away from the rain and still show their true beauty. And if you want, you can always include the rain if your story allows you too.”
“So you’re saying you let the story write itself.”

“Exactly, every story should write itself and we, as authors and storytellers and photographers are just along for the ride.”
“Wow, okay. Have you had any experience in the professional world, college maybe?”
“Just a couple years of college, but those were just general studies. I just photograph around my town of Everwood, Colorado.”

“Well, Amy Abbot, you have done an excellent job showing your craft with just what a small town can offer you.”

“Thank you.”
“And with that, what do you think about Monday?”
“Monday, like three days from now Monday?”
“Yeah, beginning of March.”
“Oh, for the internship?”
“No, I’m offering you a job, Amy Abbott. What you’ve shown me in photographs and what you’ve told me just now, I’m taking a chance on you. Can you get here by Monday?”
“Ummm…yeah, I sure can.” Amy silently kicked herself when accepting the offer so quickly.
“Okay, we’ll see you on Monday morning.”
“Thank you so much!”
“Thank you for being so flexible. Have a good day Amy, goodbye.”

~*~

Amy felt like she blinked and already it was Sunday evening. Ever since her job acceptance, she has been busier than ever. With Bright gone on the trip with Ephram and her parents gone for the weekend, Amy had the entire house to herself to pack up a few things. Every thing she put into a box made her feel even more guilt like she was running away. Well, aren’t I?, Amy constantly thought to herself. When Ephram said he couldn’t go back to New York and it felt like he never wanted things to change. Thinking about all the hardships they faced, did Ephram even want to get married? Did he want to have children? Did Ephram and Amy want the same things now that they were growing up and their futures steadily approaching them. Did Amy think she could change his mind. Did Amy want to change his mind? Looking around, all she did, thinking all she did, was pack up the essentials she would need and send for everything later when Ephram would make is want to New York to be with her.

She slowly clicked the button to transfer funds from the equity account her parents had set up for her at graduation into a separate account to pay first and last month’s rent for apartment in New York. Wow, all it took was just a click, Amy thought to herself when she realized everything was set up. She already had a job lined up, an apartment to move into, and all she had to do was pack. Oh, yeah, and tell the only guy she ever cared about that she was definitely going to New York with or without him.

Amy looked at her phone when the text message tone sounded.

[Ephram:] Just dropped Bright off at the house, be home in a few minutes. Dinner ideas?
[Amy:] After looking in the cabinets and the refrigerator. Pizza, doesn’t look like we’ve been to the store in a while
[Ephram:] Perfect, see you soon. I’ve missed you.
[Amy:] Yeah, me too.


~*~

“That was good, I think better than last time.” Ephram put the pizza box in the recycling container outside and closed the door. “It’s getting colder out there.”
“Yeah, supposed to have some snow tonight, I think.” Amy sipped the last of her wine from the glass and placed it in the sink.
“I’m gonna go take a shower.” He kissed her neck. “Care to join me?”

She smiled, blushing a little. “I’m gonna clean up here.”
He made a fake frown. “Okay, I’ll just be a minute.”
“Okay.” She spoke softly, smiling.

Truth was Amy wanted to have an amazing night in with Ephram. Once hearing the water running, she dropped whatever she had in her hands and ran to the bedroom. She quickly went to the bag with her purchases from The Sweetest Secret Boutique when she was in the middle of town. Slipping it on in the bedroom, she wanted to look good for Ephram, but still felt awkward in sexy lingerie no matter what color or type she tried on.

Ephram came out the shower, just a towel wrapped around his waist. He was stopped by the sight in front of him.

Amy sat on the bed, her hair up in a messy bun and red lingerie slightly hanging off her body.

He walked closer to her. “What did I do to deserve this?”
Her face was soft and honest. “Because I love you and I want you to make love to me.” She lightly smiled, trying not to blush.

When the next kiss started, everything else became a blur.

~*~


Ephram opened his eyes to a dark bedroom and rolled over to find an empty spot next to him. “Amy,” he called out in a whisper. He walked out of the bedroom and smiled at the the hum of her voice in the kitchen.

“There you are.” He kissed the top of her head and read the ice cream label. “Mint chocolate chip?”
“Yeah, I had a craving.”
“Care to share?” Ephram showed him his spoon.
Amy handed him the half empty carton. “You can have the rest.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” She tucking her hair behind her ears. “It was full when I took it out of the fridge, so I’ve had more than my fair share.”
“Ice cream, again, in the middle of the night…” Ephram started. “Something you want to talk about?”
Amy sighed. “It’s probably stupid, and I’m probably reading too much into it…but you said you didn’t want to go back to New York…”
“I know, and it’s unfair to you…” Ephram started to twirl his spoon around the bits of leftover ice cream in the carton. “I just feel like I’ll go back to all the stuff with being angry at my dad always being gone, for my mom having an affair…it’s just a lot, you know.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Amy really did get where Ephram was coming from, but a dream was a dream, right?
“Is this a forever thing, like you won’t ever change your mind?”

Ephram shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know, maybe in a month, I might feel different. With dad and Nina getting married.” Ephram sighed quickly. “It just has a huge affect on everything that’s happened.”
“Yeah, there’s been a lot happening lately.”
Ephram threw the empty carton in the trash and washed off the spoon, placing it in the sink. “One thing I do know…you looked absolutely beautiful in your dress.”
Amy slightly blushed. “Really? I’ve never worn such a dark dress at a wedding. I’m surprised Nina chose those dark colors for a wedding.”
“With Nina, in the middle of everyone else in the dark, she wanted to stand out.” Ephram helped Amy off the bar stool, placing his hands on her waist, placing a light kiss on her lips. “But I only saw you.”
“And you looked very handsome in your tux.”
Ephram laughed. “Yeah, okay.” He kissed her on the mouth. “Let’s go back to the bedroom,” he whispered, lifting Amy up in his arms.

~*~

The sun was hitting Ephram in the face, waking him up. He groaned at looking at the clock and only being eight in the morning. It was Sunday morning and it should be the day of sleeping in, one thing he and Amy disagreed on. Amy always thought getting up early on Sunday morning mean you would have a better chance of starting Monday morning.

“Let me guess, you already made breakfast.” Ephram called out to what he saw as an empty kitchen. “Amy?” He got out his phone and decided to text her Are you coming home soon. A familiar text he’s sent a thousand times when Amy has been out grocery shopping or hanging out with Hannah. He placed the phone back on the table and went to take a shower.

Surely she would have texted by now. Ephram thought to himself when checking his phone after coming out of the bathroom. He didn’t want to sound panicked, but decided to call her anyone, but only reached her voicemail. He prepared what he was going to say and finally had to speak. “Hey Amy, I’m not trying to be the boyfriend who gets worried after an hour of not responding to a text, so you can call me back.”

Three hours later…

“Hey, Ephram, what’s up?” Hannah immediately said when clicking on her phone.
“Have you seen Amy?”

“No, I haven’t. Since you were gone for the weekend, I thought she’d be with you.”
“No, well, she was here last night and this morning, she’s not here. She’s not answering her phone, I’m not doing so well…” Ephram had a nervous laugh, trying to make himself sound stronger.
“Well, Ephram, it’s Everwood, nothing happens here, she’s probably out shopping and forgot her phone.”

“Yeah, probably. Call me when you see her or just have her come home.”

“Yeah, sure…Ephram, are you okay?”
“Umm…no, not really.”

“Look, I’m almost done here at the diner, I’ll be at your house in an hour. Call me when she shows up, okay?”
“Yeah…”

Two hours had passed and Hannah finally arrived at the apartment, there was a sudden lunch rush at the diner, holding Hannah up, she apologized as soon as Ephram opened up the door.

“I just want to know where Amy is.”
“Ephram, whoever she is, I’m sure she’s just fine.”
“Why do I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s not.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because I know Amy better than anyone and she just doesn’t leave.”
“Ephram, what are you saying?”
“Right now, I don’t know. I just want Amy back, no matter what it takes.”

“Then she’ll come back. Like you said, Amy doesn’t just leave.”
What if she really did. Ephram had a momentary thought, but knocked it away quickly.


Two days later…


Ephram dialed the familiar number again. He was able to leave messages so he knew Amy was checking her voicemails. With the amount of messages he’s sent to Amy, her inbox would’ve been full within a few hours. After the beep, he sighed and began.

“Amy, I know I’ve left you like a million messages. I know you’ve been checking the messages because I’m still able to leave you a message…okay, I’m rambling, so I’m just going to say this. I love you, I’m in love with you. If this has anything to do with me wanting to move to New York with you, I’m there. I’ll pack everything up, give up the apartment and just let me know where you are. Just let me know you’re okay. I don’t know what I said to you or did to us that would make you want to leave without a simple goodbye or a note, but I am sorry. I’m sorry that you felt you had to go this far to make me hear you. Just please, baby, let me know you’re okay. I love you and I will always love you.”

That night…

“Amy, this is last time I’m going to call, I promise this time…not like the other times…” Ephram sighed. “Anyway. I know you better than anyone, even better than you know yourself. If this is some way of you telling me that you want out, that don’t want to be in a relationship with me, then I’ll give you what you want. It hurts like hell to say it, but I want you to be happy more than anything, even if it means not being here with me. If you come back to Everwood and want to be with someone else, I’m okay with that too, I will walk away. I just want you to be happy. Amy, I love you, baby, I love you so much. So if you’re listening to this and I hope you are and not just deleting the messages, I’ll give you want you and I’m just calling to say goodbye. So, goodbye Amy.”

Ephram ended the phone call, not knowing if he should feel relieved for finally letting Amy go or letting himself feel all the pain and agony of letting the only woman he ever really cared about go. Neither, he chose rage when using all his anger in his hand throwing his phone across the rooms shattering into a million pieces when hitting the wall.


~*~

Andy straightened his neck while fixing himself a sandwich. He had just gotten home from a long surgery in Denver for one of his patients. It was one of his first patients he had when moving to Everwood, Andy felt like had no other choice but to see this case through, no matter what…even if it meant losing sleep. It was nearly one in the morning and he had an appointment coming up at nine, later that morning. He was startled to see his front door opening, knowing he had locked the door. It was relief he first felt when seeing Ephram coming through the front door, using the extra key Andy had given to him.

“Ephram, I’m glad it’s just you at my front door given it’s on in the morning, but Ephram, it’s one in the morning.”

“Yeah, didn’t really have anywhere else to go.”
“Well, usually a nice comfortable bed and you do have someone to share it with, don’t you.”

Ephram stiffened up when having to tell Andy the truth. “Dad, she’s gone,” was all he could say before his voice went awry.
“She’s gone? Where would Amy go?”

“New York would be my guess.”
“Well, Ephram, New York is not that far from here and you used to live there, go find her.”

“Dad, it’s not that simple. I woke up this morning Sunday morning and she was gone. I’ve left like a ton of messages. I know she’s checking them because her inbox isn’t full, but she’s not calling me back. I’ve emailed her. I’ve done everything I possible can do to get in touch with her, but I come up short every time.”

“Just going to New York is a reason to leave?”

“I can’t go back there.”

“Why not, we used to live there, as a family.”

“Yeah, that’s it. You, mom, me and Deliah. We were this perfectly rose-colored glasses family. I was angry at you for not being around. I was angry for so long at mom for having an affair. I was just angry at everyone. I was finally happy, finally okay with all of it. I can’t go back.”
“Did you explain any of this to Amy?” Andy checked the clock, loosening up his tie, sleep would have to wait for another night. His son needed him more.
“Yeah, and she still left.”
“Well…okay, let’s talk about it…”

~*~

Amy tucked the hair behind her ears when clicking off her phone, she wiped away a tear as soon as he felt it forming. She heard every one of Ephram’s voicemails. Could she go back, would he really forgive her for leaving? She made a mistake this time of listening to his very last message. She sighed and put on a brave face when walking back into her office. She was soon joined by her Alison, a coworker that befriend Amy on her first day.


“You okay? You were all smiles a few minutes ago.”
“Yeah, just a phone call from my hometown.”
“Everything okay?”
“Not right now.” She sighed. “But it will be.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“I hope so.”
“Was it serious?” Allison asked point blank.
“Yeah, it was.”
“Then you can probably apologize for whatever you did…” Alison continued with a lower voice. “What did you do?”
Amy thought about Allison’s question, then answered. “Made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You’ve only been here a month, you can probably still talk to him.” Alison made a face. “or her.”
Amy smiled lightly. “Him.”

The coffee cart came around, Allison ordered her usual, French Vanilla Cappuccino.

“Want one, my treat?” Allison smiled.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Really? You’re going to give up French Vanilla and…” Alison stopped when Amy clutched her stomach and mouth running to the bathroom. “Not a fan of coffee this morning, I guess.”

A few minutes later, Amy returned composed and went to work on her computer as it nothing happened.

“Doing okay?” Alison asked, eyeing a more composed Amy.
“Yeah, sorry, must be something going around?”
“Let me recount these symptoms.” Alison started counting with her fingers. “You’re nauseous with coffee, walking like a zombie yesterday and you got the tuna melt which nobody gets. Are you pregnant or something?”
“Yeah, doubt it.”

Amy went on her computer, so Alison wouldn’t notice she looking up the calendar.

“Uh oh.”

~*~